Male staff in nursery’s

[Itsoneofthose]

Ok, hear me out.. I know this is controversial but today I was shown around a nursery for the first time. I’m dreading leaving my little one, only because I’ll miss her and worry about her. I don’t think my worry is out of proportion or anything like that though. But today I saw two male nursery nurses. Now, I know there are many men who are great with kids, and not all men are a threat to children (obviously) and women can also potentially pose a threat to children but I just don’t know how I feel about male nursery staff. Hmmm. I know I’ll be shot down in flames for this. Nursery’s are well regulated etc etc. I just can’t help feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing. Has anyone else experienced these thoughts? AIBU

They do not. Regardless, men are still more likely to commit physical crimes so my point about risk stands.

SO WHAT?!! Men, as a group, are a higher risk of violence too. Of course NAMALT and indeed most men are good, kind and decent citizens.

I give up!!

Not in a care setting. Women are more likely to (as had been quoted in this thread) harm those they care for

My DC went to a nursery with a male worker, he was amazing! They loved him!! Still talk about him now even though he moved so re-located to a nursery closer to home in the same chain.

My DC gave him the biggest cuddle on his last day!

Well, for a start, you brought up sexual abuse on a post that was clearly saying it wasn't just sexual abuse

And women are a higher risk for hurting those they care for like in nurseries...

Where’s the evidence to say women cause more harm in nurseries? I am aware of the rate of child abuse in family and social settings.

There are more than one link in this thread which says women are the bigger risk

Where is the evidence on this thread that says that males working in early years setting specifically, are more likely to abuse/harm children than females? Because that is what we are talking about here, not whether a man is more likely to be violent on a train or in a pub or on a dark street, but whether they are more dangerous than a female in a nursery.

Edit: sorry, mid read your post, please ignore my reply

It would make sense though because male employees in nurseries are pretty rare?

Some seem to be but i get the message is more “ok it doesn’t matter that males commit at least 98% of sex crimes but we need to show how unprejudiced and progressive we are above all else and if it means telling a whole site of (mostly) mothers that they are crazy and backwards to have any reservations about men having access to intimate care of the most vulnerable - babies, toddlers, elderly women in care homes, severely physically/mentally disabled women/children etc then men having access has to come first- I’d rather put children at more risk than be one of those uncool prejudiced bigots. It’s especially unsavoury given the whole grooming/rape scandal that is currently the main topic of conversation

There have been 3 different % quoted for the how much the male population is to blame for sexual abuse
Only one has provided any link, the lower %, the rest is just hyperbole

Out of curiosity - would you send your babies and toddlers (especially girls) to a completely male staffed nursery?

Through my line of work I have experience of men who have volunteered their time in order to get access to children. They were not doing it out of the goodness of their heart. They were opportunists trying to find gaps in the system in order to see children in states of undress and seeking out vulnerable children to forge contact with.

There are some very naive people on this thread.

If the nursery had the same safeguarding procedures as the current nursery mine go to, absolutely.

I don’t think it’s a weird double standard given the statistics for which sex commits the vast majority of sex abuse and the fact that women are the sex to carry, birth, feed and mostly take on the early care of little humans

But most of the men doing these volunteer roles AREN'T and your attitude is basically saying "all men who want to work with children are secretly nonces" which is just extremely offensive and the children are the ones who would miss out most if all men stopped doing these roles because of attitudes like yours

Right on sister! 👏. Unfortunately the NHS is prejudiced and bigoted and only employs female staff in their Mammogram Departments- hopefully one day we will have progress when men will be equally considered for employment there. They also have female only wards - bastards

No that's not what I have said at all.

I'm sure a high percentage of men are pure as the driven snow. Unfortunately though, more men than women have an unnatural sexual interest in very young girls and boys.

We cannot ignore this abnormality that exists, and the most vulnerable in society need the most protection from them: babies, pre-schoolers and disabled children are the most vulnerable children and need the highest levels of protection.

No amount of vetting, reference checking, qualifications or DBS checks can see inside the brain of an uncaught person with this kind of mental abnormality. You can't see it. It's there though.

That's an illogical response. No one's saying all men who want to work with children are abusers, but some of them will be. Given the small number of men working in nurseries and the level of offending among those men, it's statistically riskier to have your child cared for by a male worker. This isn't prejudice, it's data-based safeguarding. It's tough on decent men who want to go into childcare, but they shouldn't be blaming women — they should be blaming the sexual predators who target children.

Of course it happens - I don't think anyone is naive!

I'd hate to live my life though regarding every single man with deep suspicion, because the monsters are still the minority!

There's a middle ground.

But those are not working hands on with children? It’s simply not the same.

OP you can use whatever criteria you deem worthwhile. I have seen the stats and prefer female nursery workers. It’s called risk assessment. Women are constantly leaned on by society to ignore it, for various reasons.

But constantly bringing up how men are more likely to commit SA and that men use these roles to get close to kids is constantly linking men in these roles to nonces.

And, as you are now talking wider safeguarding again, we have to acknowledge that women DO abuse children, in a different way but they do. Which is why robust safeguarding procedures are in place for ALL workers

But my point stands, trust these volunteers and leave them to it, or don't trust them and remove your child, either is understandable. But its crazy to take a child to a place where feel need to 'watch like a hawk'. Although tbh I'm not convinced this is actually being done, we don't allow unsupervised adults in the areas where children will be during our guiding and scouts meetings.

I'm not at all naive, having sat in dozens of safeguarding conferences as a paediatric health professional. But you make a choice that you trust someone to care for your child or you don't, you don't insult people looking after your child by watching their every move.

No one is saying they don’t exist though just that most of them aren’t like that. And these aren’t people volunteering their time, this is their profession.