Male staff in nursery’s

[Itsoneofthose]

Ok, hear me out.. I know this is controversial but today I was shown around a nursery for the first time. I’m dreading leaving my little one, only because I’ll miss her and worry about her. I don’t think my worry is out of proportion or anything like that though. But today I saw two male nursery nurses. Now, I know there are many men who are great with kids, and not all men are a threat to children (obviously) and women can also potentially pose a threat to children but I just don’t know how I feel about male nursery staff. Hmmm. I know I’ll be shot down in flames for this. Nursery’s are well regulated etc etc. I just can’t help feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing. Has anyone else experienced these thoughts? AIBU

But again why is sexual "violence" the only one your concerned about with young children when other abuse is more common and has with regard to childcare no link to gender

Why? Is it different to a male gynaecologist?

I think that's a strange attitude to have.

I was sexually abused and not by someone who chose to work caring for children. My abusers were extended family and a neighbour. They are the one's you need to look out for. Children are much more likely to be abused in their own home than outside it.

"Penis worship"???? Would you ever listen to yourself.

I am not going to respond to your ridiculous prejudice wrapped in word salad, any further.

Nurseries are busy places with mandated staff ratios, professional training, and rafts of safeguarding policies in place. I wouldn’t have been abandoning them to the sole care of some random man off the street.

This thread contains an extraordinary combination of paranoia, assumptions, generalisations, small-mindedness, man-hating and aggression towards people holding different views. Oh and I’m pretty sure there was some nasty homophobia up-thread too.

Ugh.

I responded to posts as I reached them. OK?

Because no women abuse children… for balance…

Michele Elliott of child protection charity Kidscape stated "the reality is women abuse, women abuse without men telling them to abuse, and I think we have to acknowledge it for the sake of the children who are being abused."

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/jan/28/female-nursery-worker-18-jailed-sexually-abusing-children

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/twickenham-nursery-roksana-lecka-child-abuse-montessori-b2587201.html

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c990l4zjmzeo.amp

Couldn't agree more. It's horrible.

It is not paranoia to want intimate care to be undertaken by same sex people (where practical). We manage to offer it for adults, so I would expect the same response when it is asked for a child.
If a woman asked for a female health care professional and said they would refuse a man and posted about it, they wouldn’t receive half the vitriol the OP has. As it happens, personally I couldn’t care if it’s a ‘he, she or they’ as long as the person is competent and respectful. That doesn’t mean I get to call a woman “man hating” and “aggressive” for wanting same sex intimate care.
Ideally, I would prefer my children get the choice when they are old enough to express their views. Until then, I will do whatever I can to preserve their dignity and safety.

The thread is about men working in nurseries.

If the only concern was about personal care being delivered by a same-sex carer then we should demand that around 50% of nursery workers are male. Little boys go to nursery too.

Nursery work is about more than nappy changing. And how do we know that nurseries wouldn’t happily divide up nappy changing duties so that a man never changed a girl’s nappy? We don’t.

If it’s not for you it’s not for you absolutely fine
keep your mouth shut and go elsewhere

it a contentious subject agree to disagree and just move on and do what you feel comfortable with but don’t expect the world to revolve around you round your views

Yes I was wondering if this was a mum of girls paranoia as lots of people have mentioned intimate care yet this is the only reference I have seen where someone has mentioned a boy.
Do people not care about women changing boys nappies?
Seems a weird double standard.

Little boys get intimate care from mainly women...

My first sentence said if practical. It’s rarely practical, unfortunately in social care when intimate care is performed. So, I do appreciate it is often impractical.

That said, if the parent or person has a safety concern, a woman is statistically less likely to commit sexual offences…

It is not the “only concern for me” but it is a concern for some cultures and religions that females, in particular, prefer other females for nappy changing and whatnot.

People are being purposefully obtuse and ignoring the statistics that men are perpetrators of the vast majority of sexual crimes. Some parents might prefer to eliminate that risk completely.

These people are giving up their time with their families to give your child positive experiences. They do not get paid, they do it out of wish to support young people's development, in an era where there is so much helicopter parenting, the aim of guides and scouts is to give them an oppurtuinity to develop their confidence AWAY from their parents so they can become their own person.

You don't trust them - fine, that's your choice. But then don't take your child to these activities, its horrible that these people are giving up their time and you are 'watching them like a hawk'. Do you do the same when they are at school, stand at the door of their classroom 'watching them'?

get a grip

For the avoidance of doubt. Are people saying that women are as likely to commit sexual abuse as men?

No
We are saying women can and do commit ALL forms of abuse and that sexual abuse isn't the only abuse to be concerned about

I think we've been pretty clear about that

God I’d Love a male staff member in our childcare setting. It’s three women - all great. But I do think the boys particularly would benefit from a male present. What a great example that would set.

We all know that women commit terrible crimes. We also know not all men commit sexual crimes, in fact most men are not a danger to others. Statistically, a male is far more likely to sexually abuse a child than a child worker. I have yet to see anyone show me any statistics that prove otherwise. Therefore, logic dictates that men are more of a risk than women. To some people, that risk is unacceptable.

Do the offences have to be sexual?

NOT ALL ABUSE IS SEXUAL

How many times do we need to say this?

Apparently it is the only risk there is 😒