Male staff in nursery’s

[Itsoneofthose]

Ok, hear me out.. I know this is controversial but today I was shown around a nursery for the first time. I’m dreading leaving my little one, only because I’ll miss her and worry about her. I don’t think my worry is out of proportion or anything like that though. But today I saw two male nursery nurses. Now, I know there are many men who are great with kids, and not all men are a threat to children (obviously) and women can also potentially pose a threat to children but I just don’t know how I feel about male nursery staff. Hmmm. I know I’ll be shot down in flames for this. Nursery’s are well regulated etc etc. I just can’t help feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing. Has anyone else experienced these thoughts? AIBU

Another male bashing thread 🙄

YABU we had the most amazing male nursery staff take care of both my girls from age 1-4. It's just wonderful and engaging. They cut through what can be a bitchy environment with an all-female staff. My 10-year-old still talks about them! Both had been in their roles for nearly 10 years and were some of the most qualified staff. One of them died suddenly at 36 The outpouring of total love from generations of families on social media was amazing. I hope you get past your feelings. I should add I also work in the field of sexual violence and abuse so I do understand the statistics and honestly your child is far more at risk from family member and friends of the family you would not think twice about.

My daughters primary has 2 male teachers in infants and 4 in juniors, out of a total of 15 teachers, and this was a huge plus for us when looking round. They add a different aspect to their learning which gives a much more rounded school experience, more like the real world which we are preparing them for.

I personally would have absolutely no issues with a male staff member in a nursery. I appreciate others have different views, I'm guessing they may sadly have had negative experiences to form these views, so deserve our sympathy rather than insults.

Perhaps the only option left is to castrate all male babies at birth (or have IVF and only select female embryos).

While males commit the vast, vast majority of sexual violence against children and women, yes, we'll keep talking about it. When they stop doing it, we'll stop talking about it.

Would you insist on having male carers for your sons?

I've had male midwives, obs/gynae drs, a male volunteer from banardos. My dc have had male nurses, male teachers and make staff in their nurseries. All brilliant. Personally I find that most of the men in these roles have worked really hard and faced discrimination for their choice of career. They do it because they love it. I've worked in nurseries and I've known lots of women who have ended up working in a nursery because they think it will be easy.

Working in an SEN school with teenage boys, some of whom still need nappies changed, I am so glad we have make staff members. Many of the female members do not physically have the strength to stop the children harming themselves, another child or another staff member. Male staff are absolutely essential.

I have only ever been physically harmed by females - girls fighting and scratching and putting my head into a toilet.
My friend had her drink spiked and was sexually assaualted by another female.
Does that mean all females are bad - of course not.

We have to teach our girls common sense, self defense, exit strategies as life skills, not specifically just for males.

Women commit plenty of abuse and violence
Yes
And in nurseries they commit a great deal of it

No one will ever stop it completely, whether it is committed by male or female. A better idea would be to stop assuming everyone with a penis is a sex crazed pedophile especially professionals in nurseries. What message is that going to send to your daughters? Don't trust men full stop?

But we can just ignore the vast majority of physical, mental and emotional abuse committed by female staff members?

To be fair, a male reception teacher is very unlikely to be wiping a child's bottom alone in the toilets so it's not really the same scenario.

I personally would have absolutely no issues with a male staff member in a nursery. I appreciate others have different views, I'm guessing they may sadly have had negative experiences to form these views, so deserve our sympathy rather than insults.

No negative experiences, perhaps because knowing the statistics and knowing that paedophiles gravitate towards jobs that will give them easy access to children, I wouldn't put any child I cared about in a position where a man who wasn't their father was carrying out their intimate care.

And then we enter the murky world of the family, which is where most sexual abuse takes place. And which is mainly perpetrated by men. This is not to say that there aren't lots of wonderful men out there. But there are too many bad ones for us to forgo safeguarding.

I think we can safely ignore you.

Most abused is by a family member. Should we never leave children alone with a male relative? Or indeed any female relatives?

Nobody's assuming anything, let alone that anyone with a penis is a sex-crazed paedophile. You lose all credibility as soon as you start talking and thinking like that.

The statistics speak for themselves.
ONS data here
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/bulletins/sexualoffencesinenglandandwalesoverview/march2022
MoJ data here:
https://www.gov.uk/government/organisations/ministry-of-justice/about/statistics

Of course
We can safely ignore facts that women aren't angels of light and safety
So long as we hate on the evil men

If you go by this thread, all early years practitioners should be men because they are all super brilliant and no women because they are only doing it because they think it's easy, are abusive and create a bitchy atmosphere. The cool girl energy is strong!

I think s male midwife is such a strange career for a young man to choose

Great contribution, thanks for that.

After being ignored by female midwives, it was a male midwife who finally checked me and found a very nasty infection.

A male student doctor delivered my second child.

Would you say the same about a female Doctor in male urology.

My DM is in her 90s, pretty much most of her care in hospital recently was by male nurses of all nationalities. I think it's a good thing (they were so good with her and she's awkward) and she got to the point, she thought they were actually better at care than the women.

You're being unreasonable.

So not only are male nursery workers far superior but male midwives too - it’s obvious we need to recruit only males for these occupations in the future as the females are so shite. Tbh wasn’t particularly impressed overall by the maternity care i received - if only they had all been men

ok that settles it - women out as they’re crap and men into all these jobs which requires personal intimate care of female children and adults

No one is saying that women are crap at those jobs. Just that men are capable of doing them too and it isn't strange if a man wants work in a nursery, be a nurse or a midwife.

No more strange than when a woman is a firefighter, works in construction or STEM.

Quoting this because this post seems have been ignored. This paedophile worked in many childcare centres. Well liked by many. Some parents and children voiced concerns. They were dismissed as being sexist and told to be kind. In the meantime this rock spider kept abusing little girls in his care and publishing it on the dark web.

He’s in jail now. Sentenced to life. That means 25 years, not actually life.

www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2024/nov/30/ashley-paul-griffith-queensland-paedophile-victims-family-response-ntwnfb