Male staff in nursery’s

[Itsoneofthose]

Ok, hear me out.. I know this is controversial but today I was shown around a nursery for the first time. I’m dreading leaving my little one, only because I’ll miss her and worry about her. I don’t think my worry is out of proportion or anything like that though. But today I saw two male nursery nurses. Now, I know there are many men who are great with kids, and not all men are a threat to children (obviously) and women can also potentially pose a threat to children but I just don’t know how I feel about male nursery staff. Hmmm. I know I’ll be shot down in flames for this. Nursery’s are well regulated etc etc. I just can’t help feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing. Has anyone else experienced these thoughts? AIBU

Did posting that make you feel better about yourself?

Our nursery have a male nursery worker. He is brilliant. Everybody, adults and kids love him.
I think if you are uncomfortable with it then it would be best to find a different nursery

So they can pinch, smack, say nasty things, drag a child, push them etc as long as it's not touching the genitals it's not a risk????

Are we in the dark ages? Get used to it because you won't get to pick your reception teachers etc.

It's excellent for children to see men in childcare roles normalised. There was a male staff member at my twins' nursery and he was wonderful.

It's not about making myself feel better, it's about pointing out poor spelling and grammar by presumably an adult.

If men are so safe and marvelous and fun and we don't need to worry about our small children being near them at nursery then there's no need to warn our daughters about anything is there? Don't warn them about men when they start school, or reach puberty, or when they're 17 and out at night with their friends after dark and getting into taxis alone. Don't tell them not to walk home at night alone, for the rest of their lives. Men are fun!
It's your job as a mother to protect your child until they can look after themselves, and if they're too young to speak up or understand you need to take responsibility for them.

And anyone saying, "its ok, the nappy changing stations are in full view of everyone and mobile phones are left at the door and two adults take every child to the toilet" needs to ask themselves why this policy was introduced. We all know damn well there's a problem and it's not from the statistically tiny risk of sexual assault from women.

No male carers for children.

You do know women can also abuse children too right?

No, no

The physical, mental (and indeed sometimes sexual) abuse from women doesn't count.

It's only the evil mens whose abuse matters

Look - you feel free to ask for the amazing far superior male workers to change you baby girl’s nappy and I’ll prefer to specify female workers for intimate care - or actually I didn’t as my kids didn’t go to nursery when little/babies as i was lucky to not go back to work and didn’t particularly trust/like the set up anyway

Yes! They're walking the streets at night looking for lone women to assault. They're choosing careers so they can have access to vulnerable people. They're rating local prostitutes online. Honestly, the naivety is off the scale. Have you ever read a newspaper or been online?

Think this is the most reasonable response on this thread. Let’s not bury our heads in the sand and pretend men don’t commit these crimes, because they overwhelmingly do, but a highly supervised male nursery worked in a regulated environment is not where the majority of the risk lies. You can ask the nursery about their processes though and a good provider will be able to demonstrate how children are kept safe.

It’s weird the lengths some women will go to pretend that men are not the sex committing the majority of abuse/watching child porn/abuse etc. Do you also tell your young children to equally approach a man or a woman for help if they get lost - though i imagine you would say man as it seems they are way more amazing and superior in looking after young children

BBC NEWS | UK | How Huntley slipped through the net

points to all the newspaper articles linked about FEMALE abuse

Women aren't sweet and innocent and never hurt anyone either

I've literally linked an article saying the majority of abuse (not all abuse is sexual) in nurseries is committed by women

So where's the line? Nurses? Doctors? Teachers? Youth workers? Cubs / Beaver / Squirrel leaders?

have you googled male workers who sexually abuse too? I never sent my babies /toddlers to nursery as I didn’t like/trust the set up but if i have a choice i’d rather a female changes my baby girl’s
nappy than an unconnected male

I've never said males are superior please quote the post where I said that. But your ignoring the fact statistically other abuse is much more likely and just as damaging in different ways so should be of equal concern but many women choose to ignore it latching onto my child is safe without men....presumably at puberty any boys will be isolated from females for eternity as male genes are not to be trusted.

do you prefer a female or male doing your smear or mammogram - what about bra fitting

NOT ALL ABUSE IS SEXUAL

There's a worrying amount of women on here who would indeed lock all men up the moment they showed signs of puberty - or at least would put them on curfew and never allow them anywhere alone

Dotjones · Today 10:10

You are right to feel uncomfortable even though it's sexist and outrageous to feel the way you do.

It's not sexist and outrageous to acknowledge that there are huge differences between the sexes in some things — and sexual offending and paedophilia are just two of them. It's not outrageous or sexist to make a safeguarding decision based on clear, consistent evidence that the vast majority of sexual assaults are carried out by men. And because paedophiles and sexual predators are so good at covering their backs, and because the likelihood of men getting caught seems quite low (Jimmy Saville got away with it in public for years, despite loads of middle-aged women reporting concerns) it's not sexist or outrageous to come to the rational conclusion that statistically your child is less likely to suffer sexual assault at the hands of female workers.

That's hard on nice men who want to work with children, but they shouldn't blame women for making that decision. They need to turn a critical eye on their fellow men and see what they can do to challenge male behaviour. Don't blame women for the things men do.

you are beyond ridiculous - are you saying women commit the majority of abuse/violence in the world

Not even her uncles or grandads?
How about if she went for a playdate and that child's Dad or older brother was home? Would your child have to leave?