Male staff in nursery’s

[Itsoneofthose]

Ok, hear me out.. I know this is controversial but today I was shown around a nursery for the first time. I’m dreading leaving my little one, only because I’ll miss her and worry about her. I don’t think my worry is out of proportion or anything like that though. But today I saw two male nursery nurses. Now, I know there are many men who are great with kids, and not all men are a threat to children (obviously) and women can also potentially pose a threat to children but I just don’t know how I feel about male nursery staff. Hmmm. I know I’ll be shot down in flames for this. Nursery’s are well regulated etc etc. I just can’t help feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing. Has anyone else experienced these thoughts? AIBU

She has a right to be concerned about anyone who cares for her child. I'd be just as concerned about the female workers I leave my children with. There are a wide range of issues I'd be concerned about, not just SA.

Which is why I stayed home with mine and didn't leave them anywhere until they were verbal enough to tell me how they felt about a place and what was going on there. I guess I'm just not that trusting in general. A childcare setting would probably be on the lower end of concern for me though.

Totally understandable, I’d feel the same - your daughter comes first

@SouthLondonMum22 you misunderstood. I’m asking for an alternative phrase to ‘pc brigade’. Read the thread.

Men do everything better don’t you know. 🤪🤪🤪

I think it's wonderful to see a range of staff including men working in my kids creche and preschool. Everyone brings something different to a role.

All staff will have been thoroughly vetted.

However if you are uncomfortable go somewhere else.

When I was young I thought that everyone was lovely and safe and had no bad intentions. With experience I would no longer be so naive, given that men often get into jobs that give access to children. Now I would be very careful.

I agree with you totally
we don’t use any childcare whatsoever for these reasons

When my children were in nursery 20 plus years ago, they had a male nursery worker, he was absolutely brilliant. Really really good with the children. I wouldn't hesitate to enrol with a male again.

It genuinely wouldn’t bother me.

We need more men in caring roles imo. DS2 is a nurse. It is all he has ever wanted to be since he was about 4 years old. He’s a brilliant nurse. He has the most caring nature about him. If a female said she didn’t want him to treat her, he wouldn’t be offended, but to my knowledge that hasn’t happened and in his current role he sees the sickest of patients so I’d imagine they’re quite pleased to see him tbh.

Any woman, especially those who are especially vulnerable should be able to expect another female carer doing any personal care such as washing, toileting etc - you sound completely insensitive and dismissive of a reasonable request

Dds nursery has a male staff member - Hes one of the better ones there! You’re overthinking, which I think a lot of us are in this situation (leaving a little one at nursery the first time is a horrible feeling). If the nursery seemed good don’t let this change your opinion

So is there something wrong with female firefighters, engineers God forbid we get out of our stereo typical boxes and do a job we love because we won't have a bestie to chat to at lunch.....

@MumChp my mind is blown.

We chose the nursery for DD because they had a male worker and thought he was a really important role model for her, that not only women can look after children

And yet statistically he's much more of a threat and most of their wives probably thought they were safe.

Yanbu. I wouldn’t choose a childcare setting with men. Don’t care if that offends people or not, I just wouldn’t. Preschool and younger can’t speak up in the same way as school kids can and nurseries would be easy places for paedophiles to do untold damage to children.

Nope, not for my children.

Are football coaches okay, is Karate a no, no swim team or go karting then.....

I hope you reported him.

No work is shared equally....the shit jobs are not just for women.

You will be flamed on this thread OP but I’m sorry I agree with you. Mumsnet is notoriously feminist (as am I) and there are countless threads about keeping men out of women’s spaces and apparently the same people are completely ok with an unknown male doing intimate care on non verbal babies and young children. Yes they will be DBS checked that really goes for nothing as most peodophiles don’t have a record. Yes women can sexually assault women but the stats show most predators are overwhelmingly male. I hate that I have to think like this but unfortunately I do and I wouldn’t take the risk. I’m sure there are plenty of excellent male nursery staff but I’m sure there are also some predatory men who see easy access to children just like in other professions such as the church, scouts and other children’s groups and schools and unlike in those areas, in nurseries they are expected to carry out intimate care on more vulnerable children therefore the risk is higher in my opinion.

Risk and impact are separate things

While i believe there are many competent male nursery workers and the actual risk is very small... the impact if it happens is almost measurably large.

As a result its a no from me and thats why i use a CM who has a female only household (divorced with daughters)

It's fine to pick the childcare provision you think is best for your child individually. Just as you can pick who mends your roof, fixes your laptop or bodyguards you in a difficult situation. Some people feel these are roles and responsibilities defined by sex. I don't, really . But each to their own.

Imagine those male staff spelling "nurseries" correctly..

I think some of you should be more focused on doing a safeguarding course for your children. It might educate you to recognise the signs and symptoms of what an abused child might look like. Probably a handy tool, and an opportunity to further your education for those of you with nursery school aged children - it's uncomfortable and grim, but it might help stop male paedo nursery workers.

@Itsoneofthose

Why?

Later they have male teachers?
Men are a part of life also in a nursery and school.