Male staff in nursery’s

[Itsoneofthose]

Ok, hear me out.. I know this is controversial but today I was shown around a nursery for the first time. I’m dreading leaving my little one, only because I’ll miss her and worry about her. I don’t think my worry is out of proportion or anything like that though. But today I saw two male nursery nurses. Now, I know there are many men who are great with kids, and not all men are a threat to children (obviously) and women can also potentially pose a threat to children but I just don’t know how I feel about male nursery staff. Hmmm. I know I’ll be shot down in flames for this. Nursery’s are well regulated etc etc. I just can’t help feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing. Has anyone else experienced these thoughts? AIBU

Yes, that's quite normal in nurseries - one staff member will do toileting or nappies.

Not facts but ok

Imagine putting your child in a nursery and not even knowing this but having the audacity to call me rude. 🤷

Most nurseries or just the ones you cherry picked to suit your argument?

It clearly isn't the case at my DC's nursery or pp's example.

We chose the nursery with most male staff.

So important that children meet both caring male and females.

Oh there definitely isn’t. My friend was been a nursery worker for many years, now runs her own, and even before many of them were stuggling financially as they are now, there often just weren’t enough staff to mean they weren’t alone at times with children. I dread to think how many are coping now.

Literally random sample from an area I picked in London. Happy to provide more for other areas though as I’m sure they’ll be the same

but of course as long as you’re informed and happy with your decisions that’s all that counts

again, it isn’t what I’d be choosing but you do you :)

I have read your pathetic, ignorant bile as closely as I'm prepared to, frankly. Just remove your child from the nursery if you're unhappy. I do have to inform you that all girls, single sex schools do have male teaching staff. Have a good evening. I instantly regret mentioning that. Forget it. It's not true. Sleep tight in the nursery's whatever.

Definitely not mandatory, but settings do have to give children privacy.

I've worked in several nurseries and they all had separate bathrooms - although doors had windows or were left open, the practitioner would be in there alone with no other staff observing beyond maybe walking past or popping in to get something.

At DC's nursery, the keyworker does nappies/toileting but in an open area as pp described with mirrors etc.

Its not reaĺly fact though is it? Last time I looked the great nature v nurture debate was far from settled, so no one knows for sure.

"We don't think men are paedophiles" but chose only to focus on sexual abuse!

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/worker-nursery-tragic-girl-died-29852967.amp

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/twickenham-nursery-roksana-lecka-child-abuse-montessori-b2587201.html

A quick Google found these two stories immediently (alongside the Vanessa George and FEMALE co stories) and then this article from a solicitors which says direct most abuse in nurseries is from female staff

https://www.jordanssolicitors.co.uk/insights/abuse-and-redress-schemes/child-abuse-and-neglect-in-nurseries

Female staff are just as likely to neglect and abuse children in their care, perhaps a different type of abuse but still abuse. It also shows they aren't some "natural carer" as some are claiming

You didn't mention your real concern until your 10th post, if you had initially mentioned that, and given your reasoning, people might have been more understanding. I also didn't realise that one on one intimate care in a nursery was a thing, so I've been educated.

It still doesn't mean that all male nursery nurses are bad, but I do get your reservations now, but it's not because they are male, it's because any human can hurt a child regardless of their sex. There are some nasty human beings out there, and I know the majority of them are men, but you get a few nasty women too.

No there's no conclusive evidenceeither way. I was just replying to that poster the way she commented. Adding "fact" to the end of a post doesn't make it so.

Ok, what word would you use to describe the notion? Trying to say the ‘right’ most palatable thing, just for the sake of trying to be seen to be ‘nice’.

This would be less usual and is generally considered bad practice as Ofsted look for settings giving children privacy and dignity during intimate care - they shouldn't be toileted or changed in open areas in full view.
Most nurseries will have a separate bathroom or changing area.

Even in nurseries with more open plan changing areas, there will still be lots of times children are alone with an adult - sleep times, separate sleep rooms, bringing a child in for toileting while everyone else is in the garden etc.

I don’t trust men.

But that’s because I’ve been raped twice. Both times by a men.

I also don’t trust dogs, because I was hurt by one as a kid.

I know it’s not all men but it’s always a man (96% of sex offenders in prisons identify as male). In my opinion that’s equivalent of getting an XL bully as a family pet vs a Labrador. Not all XL bully’s are bad dogs but not worth the risk.

Until all men learn to control themselves they should be included in risk assessments. Having somebody with a penis is an increase risk. There’s way to mitigate that risk…

Having a different opinion? Just because someone disagrees with you, it doesn't mean they are just trying to say the right thing or just want to be seen as nice.

Didn’t realise women were so rubbish 😯

Huh. DC's nursery has an outstanding rating. They do consider privacy and dignity but also take safeguarding incredibly seriously though, to be fair, they also don't have staffing issues as many nurseries do. One of the reasons why we picked their nursery is because of their low turnover rate.

The sleeping room is off of the main room with no door.

Males are a risk due to the rates they offend and the power they abuse. I absolutely wouldn't be ok with it op.

The nursery we used had 6 full time male staff (manager, chef, qualified teacher for pre-school, and 3 others who worked directly with the babies/toddlers, and about 10 female staff. Maybe this is an unusually high ratio but from some of the comments on here I didn’t realise it was that uncommon to have male staff in a nursery.

Most nurseries are not like that in my experience. Lots of times when staff are alone with children.

"But my cat is really friendly and definitely wouldn't eat your hamster! He's not luke other cats!"

Translated it for you.

Just cos YOUR Nigel is "safe" doesn't mean men can be trusted in general, with kids or anyone vulnerable.

Seems like I've won the nursery lottery. It really is excellent to be fair and the waiting list shows it, I had to put DC's names down at 12 weeks pregnant to be sure I'd get a place.