Male staff in nursery’s

[Itsoneofthose]

Ok, hear me out.. I know this is controversial but today I was shown around a nursery for the first time. I’m dreading leaving my little one, only because I’ll miss her and worry about her. I don’t think my worry is out of proportion or anything like that though. But today I saw two male nursery nurses. Now, I know there are many men who are great with kids, and not all men are a threat to children (obviously) and women can also potentially pose a threat to children but I just don’t know how I feel about male nursery staff. Hmmm. I know I’ll be shot down in flames for this. Nursery’s are well regulated etc etc. I just can’t help feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing. Has anyone else experienced these thoughts? AIBU

This plenty of awesome mums out there NEVER carried their baby in their body. WOW this thread is so sad.

Nursery worker jailed for sex offences, Crowborough:
https://www.sussex.police.uk/news/sussex/news/court-results/nursery-worker-jailed-for-child-sex-offences-in-crowborough/. 
Man jailed for sex offences at nursery
https://www.staffordshire.police.uk/news/staffordshire/news/2024/april/man-jailed-for-sexual-offences-at-nursery/
18-year-old male nursery worker jailed for rape and sexual assault in nursery:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-57943692
Paedophile male nursery worker jailed for sexual assault and indecent images of children
https://www.richmondshiretoday.co.uk/nursery-worker-jailed-for-sexual-assault-on-toddler/

Those are just the first few that come up on the first page with a single google search. If I changed the search terms I’d find others. The only female nursery workers guilty of sexual assault of children in their charge that I can see are Sophie Elms and Vanessa George, 2019 and 2009.

96% of convicted sex offenders are male. Many eminently respectable and trusted men have images of child porn on their computers. I can’t find any research on women downloading child porn but my guess is that the number would be very small.

OP, you would be totally rational to decide not to send your child to a nursery with male staff. Given how relatively rare it is for there to be male staff working with children in a nursery, there would appear to be a real issue with paedophile-inclined men seeking out access to children. Statistically it does seem that your child would be safer, when it comes to sexual assault, in a nursery run entirely by women.

Why are religious or cultural beliefs deemed more acceptable than safeguarding concerns?

Yes I would choose to leave my babies with the man who raised me and with the man I have been in a relationship with for nearly half of my life. In life you do have to weigh up risks vs benefit. But there is no additional benefit to having some random man I don't know perform intimate care on my DCs when I could just find a nursery with all female staff.

some women are natural carers.
some men are natural carers.

Most of it is nurture. Not nature.

And that’s your choice
not mine but glad you’re happy with it

I doubt many of the women who have an issue with men in female changing rooms would be fighting OP hard on this issue.

I am gender critical, very vocal about not wanting men in changing rooms etc and can completely see where OP is coming from. Not all men are like and all that, but the threat mostly comes from men. OP can make the decision to not want male nursery workers looking after her child, he can still work there, so 🤷‍♀️

My daughter had a male nursery worker and he was fab! Really engaging with the children, good handovers at the end of the day and he was also senco and helped to get my daughters sen diagnosis.

Completely unreasonable.

Their parents manifest them or if they don't, family do. I had several negative reactions when I bought my son a baby doll, it's ridiculous.

There are also plenty of stories in the news about female teachers who sleep with students (it even happened at my school). The reaction there is usually "way hey, get in there" rather than pointing out those women are paedophiles.

Women can be abusers too. And are more likely to get away with it because of ridiculous society expectations that "women are carers, men are abusers"

Yep. They don’t seem to be that rare around here. My friends daughter has looked at almost 10 nurseries local to her, her mum and her work, only one currently has a male member of staff. She has already disregarded it based on that, as is her right.

How is it different? Do you think that doctors don't do intimate personal care? 🤣. Yes, whilst that is probably reserved for the nurse or care assistant, who all could be male, some doctors possibly will.

We had male nursery staff, both fantastic. DS loved them and settled in quickly with them. I never had any concerns.
I think you’re being unreasonable.

I'm still wondering where the male staff are. In the nursery's what, exactly?

Good men should empathize with people's concerns about bad men, and with privacy concerns.

Being angry at not being allowed to change a nappy is weird and entitled.

and that's why the statistics are so high for male family members.

Because a child wouldn’t be with any doctor, male or female, alone. Gosh the stupidity levels here

Yeah this literally proves my point

angry because he can’t change a nappy

yikes… weird

How is it entitled or weird to express frustration over discrimination in the work place?

It really is, that would be a huge red flag for me.

They had a male nursery teacher at my child's nursery he was great. Child now has a male primary teacher and he is equally great.

I actually think its brilliant.

Many single parent families are Mum and their kids, so having male nursery nurses gives them a male presence in their lives. I think it also leads by example to show there is no reason why kids can't be looked after by men.

Having a mix of male and female caregivers can create a balanced and inclusive environment that benefits children by reflecting the diversity of the world around them.

Men and women may have different approaches to play and interaction, providing children with a variety of experiences and ways to learn and grow.

I'm all for it, its about time.

Because good men would understand parents concerns and not take it personally.

*nurseries