Male staff in nursery’s

[Itsoneofthose]

Ok, hear me out.. I know this is controversial but today I was shown around a nursery for the first time. I’m dreading leaving my little one, only because I’ll miss her and worry about her. I don’t think my worry is out of proportion or anything like that though. But today I saw two male nursery nurses. Now, I know there are many men who are great with kids, and not all men are a threat to children (obviously) and women can also potentially pose a threat to children but I just don’t know how I feel about male nursery staff. Hmmm. I know I’ll be shot down in flames for this. Nursery’s are well regulated etc etc. I just can’t help feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing. Has anyone else experienced these thoughts? AIBU

I hope your setting would not say “remove your child” if a family was asking for religious or cultural reasons. The law is clear that requesting a same sex carer is not discriminatory.

Because the hcp should be mindful of the potential for an allegation and an occasional reminder wouldn't go amiss

Thank you. I feel like they get riled up for the sake of it without even stopping to think about what it is that’s being asked.

100% this

But they are. Cant change genetics.

No she isn’t. Try reading again.

I get the worry , you do hear of lots of nasty stories and naturally you want your daughter to be safe. I think wherever you go there will always be male staff, nurseries, schools etc. I'm sure your child will be ok

I was honestly horrified when I was presented to a male midwife. I was like OMG I can't do that. He was the nicest most caring human and honestly I would request him again. I think it is wrong to judge on a gender in roles these days. Back in my dads day yeah it was different. I think for our kids they can trust both sexes a lot more.

Agree. Boys often grow up without male role models in caring roles. Normalising this is better for them and in turn will be better for girls.

The OP clearly isn’t interested in hearing about the safeguarding measures in childcare settings or about the many examples of wonderful male nursery staff. What a shame. Still at least she’s learned that the plural of nursery is nurseries.

Obviously if there was a religious or cultural reason that would be different…

Larry Nassar was a doctor....

Women are socialised to be carers from birth. They are given baby dolls and play kitchens and nurse costumes. Of course women are going to usually be more caring, they are raised to be.

Presumably you'll never leave your DC with anyone else ever then?

My experience of "the real world" was being sexually abused and raped by my brother. As I'm getting older I'm realising, and coming to terms with, the fact that my Dad touched me inappropriately too. My mum denied any of this happened.

The male teachers I had, male Dr's I've seen, and male care workers I've worked with, have all been lovely, respectful and trustworthy.

So you are saying that it is ok as long as there are a number of people in the room, so if a child in nursery was attended by a male nursery nurse and a female nursery nurse, then it would be ok? Yes, I agree with that.

Something else I've just realised- how come mumsnet is up in arms about men in women's changing rooms or transwomen nurses (who would be db's checked) performing intimate care on adult females, but it's alright for men to change nappies and carry out intimate care on young children? If we should be able to request that we are only examined by female-bodied doctors and nurses, then surely we should be able to request the same of nursery workers caring for our children?

They carry a child and give it life. Men can never know what that feels like. It's innate.

Maybe children shouldn't have fathers then? Utter madness.

There is a lovely male nursery practitioner in our local nursery. I must admit when I first collected my Grandchild I was surprised to see him there but not because I didn't trust him. It was more to do with not being used to this. Once I realised it was quite common nowadays I actually felt reassured there was a man in attendance.

What will ypu do when there are male teachers. What age is your child? Are they in nappies?

Not every woman does.

Agree. The reason is because in this case they want men to do these lesser paid jobs and to hell with the consequences. Classic MN double standards.

No, I’m saying that OP is within her right to feel uneasy about male nursery workers rather than worrying more about upsetting men. I was just replying to that particular post as it wasn’t comparable to a nursery setting at all.

Girls manifest pink play kitchens and baby dolls? Boys are born blue and need trains, cars, suits, ties and share-holdings? Wow. This has taken a dark turn!

I have said on here before that my son has worked in a nursery (he doesn’t now) he loved it and the kids loved him - he was happy to do hours of outdoor play and kick the football around with the pre school children. His nursery was split into 3 rooms and he was in pre school!

He didn’t have any issues with the parents and he got lots of little gifts from the families when he left. Most abuse that happens is from within the family - and one of the last abuse scandals in a nursery was a woman! Abuse can happen at school, clubs or anywhere nothing is risk free. I am saddened by your thinking and think its grossly unfair to the lads that love working with children within that setting.