Father’s behaviour towards child

[Questions112]

Posting for traffic.

I am after some quick opinions on a situation this evening.

4 year old was in the bathroom before bed, and ‘D’P decided it would be funny to lock them in from outside. I asked him not to but was ignored. Unsurprisingly, 4YO got upset and cried when they realised they couldn’t open the door (they could have unlocked it from inside, but panicked).

4YO ran straight to me afterwards as they knew DP had locked the door. DP then told them they weren’t a baby anymore and should think about the situations they are in and not cry (to clarify - DC IS FOUR YEARS OLD!).

I’m just left with a really bad feeling and don’t know if I am overreacting.

YABU - totally fine and normal behaviour from DP
YANBU - not normal and cruel

Regrettably it is not. He likes scaring little children

I agree with those saying self report to SS.

It not only helps to make the case for him only having supervised access (if any) to her, it helps make the case that you are a competent parent who will protect her.

Otherwise the report comes from school when she tells them and you look incompetent to protect her.

That is a really SICK thing to do to a child! I would be absolutely livid if any man did this to a child of mine, it is warped! This man has shown you who he is OP, LISTEN, and get rid of him, before he really damages your poor child.

OMG! Now that I've read the rest of your posts and realised that he's actually the child's father, I'm even more angry! He would be out of my house tonight if he did that to my child!!

That’s really mean. I’m glad you’re taking it seriously from the responses. Poor kid. My Dad did crap like this and we’re NC now with good reason!

Please read my post carefully. I was reacting to the fact that the dad said that DD isn't a baby anymore and should think about the situation they are in. As in, try and get yourself out of it. I'm saying that the dad's argument would only make sense if it had been an accidental lock in and that the child was safe and calm, then maybe that could be a life skill to learn. But as the dad is clearly an abusive, horrible bully who did this on purpose, his argument is nonsense.

Did his parents treat him like that - so he thinks (wrongly) its normal?

Does it matter? He is an adult and his wife told him not to do it as it was cruel.

Omg why ?
Be prepared for your child to have a fear now of being locked in for many years to come

Exactly. As I said up thread, I have a lifelong fear of enclosed spaces after a similar incident - but it was a teenage neighbour (and I was older than 4 - about 8-10) not my own parent!

Hopefully the child will alert someone to the fact that "daddy is mean to mummy and me".
Hopefully that person will report it and SS will get involved.
This is one nasty piece of work and his child knows it.
Poor mite.

Sadistic bully.

Get a book called how to annihilate a narcissist in the family court you'll need it

He sounds like a dangerous control freak - dangerous to both your dd and to you. I hope you have a safe way out of this relationship.