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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let out spare bedroom to DH's friend or not?

107 replies

LilExhausted · 06/01/2025 17:22

One of my DH's friend has moved to our city and looking for a short term rental for 4-5 months. We have a 4 bed house and 2 young DC- a toddler and a newborn. I am on mat leave which is generous. We are not in any need of extra cash but I feel tempted to suggest to DH to let out to his friend.
But, I am concerned that his friend may think it's not good that we are asking him to pay for rent for the room, I am not sure, just guessing. Also, I don't know how the grocery costs etc will work. We are in midlands and around my area, spare rooms are around 550-600.
My husband has known him for over 10 years, but I have only known him couple of months. My DS gets on well with him. I also feel uncomfortable breastfeeding around other people than just my family and I am also worried that I might feel like I can't move freely in my own house if he is sitting in lounge watching TV etc with my husband or toddler.
Can anyone please suggest if it's even worth letting out for getting extra £600 and some help with childcare as having an extra adult around the house helps but at the same time I will be stuck in a bedroom feeding baby as I definitely won't feel comfortable breastfeeding around him and won't be able to spend more time in evenings with my toddler.

OP posts:

roses2 · 06/01/2025 17:27

I let my spare room to a friend but for a much reduced rate and I knew her well. Excellent cook, clean and great with the kids.

Would this man want to pay market rate to share with a family when he can let for the same price elsewhere without worrying about kids, shared cooking etc?

endsnewyearsday · 06/01/2025 17:28

I can't think of anything worse than having another bloke in the house tbh. The fact that you have such young children and hardly know him would make it a hard no from me.

Things that would worry me:

Would he get too settled and not leave when you expect/want him to?

Would your DH and him "pair up" and leave you feeling like a gooseberry in your own home while they watch sport/drink/go to the pub/play golf?

Would he bring women back?

Would he stay out late and come in noisily waking the dc?

Would he create more mess/laundry and expect you to be his housekeeper?

The list goes on. Too many risks considering you don't need the money.

Original poster

LilExhausted · 06/01/2025 17:29

roses2 · 06/01/2025 17:27

I let my spare room to a friend but for a much reduced rate and I knew her well. Excellent cook, clean and great with the kids.

Would this man want to pay market rate to share with a family when he can let for the same price elsewhere without worrying about kids, shared cooking etc?

@roses2 he has this budget and I think he cooks his meals currently but while staying with us it will be joint cooking so sometimes easier for him. Also, I am on mat leave and toddler in full time nursery so there won't be much childcare needed.

OP posts:

TomatoSandwiches · 06/01/2025 17:29

I wouldn't have a strange man in the house whilst on MAT leave with very young children in the house no.

TheFlis · 06/01/2025 17:29

Oh hell no it’s a terrible idea.

Original poster

LilExhausted · 06/01/2025 17:31

endsnewyearsday · 06/01/2025 17:28

I can't think of anything worse than having another bloke in the house tbh. The fact that you have such young children and hardly know him would make it a hard no from me.

Things that would worry me:

Would he get too settled and not leave when you expect/want him to?

Would your DH and him "pair up" and leave you feeling like a gooseberry in your own home while they watch sport/drink/go to the pub/play golf?

Would he bring women back?

Would he stay out late and come in noisily waking the dc?

Would he create more mess/laundry and expect you to be his housekeeper?

The list goes on. Too many risks considering you don't need the money.

@endsnewyearsday I appreciate this perspective. He is married and has a family but he will look for a house on rent in 4 months time to bring them over. My worry would be if he might think of bringing family with him too in our spare room.

OP posts:

curtaintwitcher78 · 06/01/2025 17:32

Don't go there. It will go tits up.

SometimesCalmPerson · 06/01/2025 17:32

I wouldn’t. Surely you wouldn’t charge full market rate to a friend anyway? You sound like you’re seeing this an easy way to get yourself some money rather than trying to be helpful to an old friend in need.

Londonrach1 · 06/01/2025 17:33

Awful idea. Unless I need of the money I wouldnt

Snowmanscarf · 06/01/2025 17:34

Have you seen the other thread, whereby the op let a friend stay in their spare room when she had housing difficulties. It was meant to be e for a short while, but the friend has abused the generosity and been abusive and now op is evicting her.

point this friend to spare rooms.com.. He can rent a room there.

if you don’t need the money, can’t quite believe you’re contemplating a stranger to stay in your house.

Gabitule · 06/01/2025 17:34

If you don’t need the money then don’t do it. It will feel so awkward etc

name1234noidea · 06/01/2025 17:35

£600 a month to rent a room with a baby and toddler in the house, and expected to help with childcare! Stuff that!

ginasevern · 06/01/2025 17:36

I wouldn't even contemplate it. Would you seriously let him do "childcare" when you barely know him? (Sorry if I've misinterpreted that). You don't need the money, you definitely do not want to be breastfeeding around him, you've no idea whether he's a domestic god or the slob from hell. Also, 4 months could easily stretch into a year. So much could go very, very wrong. Why go there?

2025uk · 06/01/2025 17:38

Sorry but why oh why would he want to live in a house with a toddler and a newborn?

Unless you’ve got a separate annexe or wing.

Original poster

LilExhausted · 06/01/2025 17:38

I don't need childcare really

OP posts:

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 06/01/2025 17:39

I wouldn't.
It sounds like far too much hassle

OhBling · 06/01/2025 17:41

Terrible idea. I also can't see what is in it for him frankly. If he's a half way decent bloke he's goign to feel obliged to be friendly, helpful and social to the rest of you when really, he probably jsut wants to be able to crash at the end of the day, facetime hsi family and go to bed. Maybe with some beers.

Unless you're desperate for the cash, do not do this.

If he's a good friend, perhaps get into a routine of inviting him for dinner every Wednesday night.

RandomSocks · 06/01/2025 17:41

It is very kind of you to think of helping the friend.

But if your husband has not suggested renting the spare room to his friend, best not to bring it up.

MounjaroOnMyMind · 06/01/2025 17:42

God, no, why on earth would you do that? There are tons of threads on here where someone lets a friend stay for a while and it ends up a nightmare.

You don't even know this guy. You have said you want privacy while feeding. Surely you'd want privacy in the evenings, too. Would you want your husband and this guy to be watching something you don't want to watch or gaming all night? Do you want to cook for an extra person?

You don't even need the money!

DogInATent · 06/01/2025 17:45

We've done it for a work colleague (but someone we both knew well). They had no problems paying a modest rent, but it was on a Sun-Thurs night basis only (they went home at the weekend, it was a temporary distance thing). You might want to consider that as a half-way option. If they're working with your husband you'll know the hours they'll be working. Sunday night to Thursday night with you for a modest rate, and they take themselves off to a Travel Lodge/Premier Inn for Friday and Saturday night so they're out of the way of your family at the weekend.

(they might find that Travel Lodge/Premier Inn offers them a very good deal for a long-term stay, another colleague did this for several months)

Choccyscofffy · 06/01/2025 17:47

Don’t do it.

And I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving my kids alone with him.

Member984815 · 06/01/2025 17:48

Absolutely not , stranger in the house no matter how good a friend to my husband would have me uneasy , that's without the kids . I don't think anybody would want to live with a young family that wasnt their own, with the kids up early or during the night .

PullTheBricksDown · 06/01/2025 17:51

No, for various reasons it'd be more trouble than it was worth. It sounds like you think it's somehow expected? Save the effort for when his family come over.

TwentyTwentyFive · 06/01/2025 17:51

I don't understand why he would want to when instead he could rent a room in a house for the same price and not have any of the annoyances that come from a house containing such small children.

There's literally no reason for him to take the offer of your spare room over any other room??

SquirrelSoShiny · 06/01/2025 17:53

endsnewyearsday · 06/01/2025 17:28

I can't think of anything worse than having another bloke in the house tbh. The fact that you have such young children and hardly know him would make it a hard no from me.

Things that would worry me:

Would he get too settled and not leave when you expect/want him to?

Would your DH and him "pair up" and leave you feeling like a gooseberry in your own home while they watch sport/drink/go to the pub/play golf?

Would he bring women back?

Would he stay out late and come in noisily waking the dc?

Would he create more mess/laundry and expect you to be his housekeeper?

The list goes on. Too many risks considering you don't need the money.

My mind works the same as yours @endsnewyearsday!

Don't do it OP!

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