AIBU to be annoyed by this comment from my MIL-to-be?

[Bixy14]

My OH and I got engaged in November and have now set a date for the wedding very soon. For context we’ve been together over 10 years and see both sets of our parents at least once/twice a month so feel we know each others families well.

Anyway at Christmas we spent the evening with his parents, older sister and sisters partner and MIL gave us gifts which included a bag of goodies/sweets. I started digging in (in appreciation!) and she snatched them off me and said ‘oops I forgot you’ll be a bride now!’

I was a bit in shock and didn’t really know what to say so I just laughed and OH’s sister said ‘Erm she can eat what she likes!’

I’m not an overweight person (not that I think this would be acceptable if I was!) and I’m sure she meant it as a joke, but I keep reliving the comment in my mind and getting really annoyed about it! I go between ‘what a strange thing to say’ and ‘how dare she!!?’

I’m very anti-diet culture and think as long as you are happy and comfortable no one should care what anyone’s bodies look like. I don’t plan on doing any crazy dieting or trying to change myself before the wedding as I just don’t believe it’s necessary, I am who I am and I look like what I look like! I would hate this kind of messaging to be passed down to any future children I may have.

I must know, AIBU to be annoyed about this?

I'd send her a text telling her you won't be dieting for your wedding so she can stfu

Not unreasonable to be mildly peeved, but there is a lot of cultural expectation for a bride to frantically diet pre wedding and MIL may just be mindlessly going with that and expecting you will too.
I’d explain my actual thoughts to her and expect her to drop it sharpish though. And if she continued with this kind of thing especially in front of future grandchildren she would be told very firmly to button it!

It's a weird thing to say. But you say you know her pretty well, and it sounds like you see her quite often, so you'll know better than us whether she's generally well meaning and this was just a poorly judged out of character comment, or whether she can be a bit mean.

I don’t think you’re unreasonable to be annoyed. What your MIL did was rude - and likely sexist as well, assuming she wouldn’t have done the same to a groom-to-be!
Hopefully it was just an outdated joke made in poor taste. Be prepared that you might need to pull her up on it in future if she expresses those kind of opinions around your children.

I think some older gen are just like this re diets and in fairness also a lot of women in their 20s and 30s i know DO / DID diet for their weddings.

Unless she keeeeeeps going on about it and making digs it's not a hill I'd die on .

OH’s sister responded and dealt with her mother who I doubt will make such a comment again.

Congratulations on your engagement!
You might find this useful during the wedding preparations:

You starting eating the sweets straight after being gifted them, in front of everyone? Isn't it normal/more polite to take sweet gifts home with you to eat?

TBH a lot of brides do diet/get in shape.

And? Not all brides diet

that's not really "in fairness" just because some people do doesn't mean it's right to assume everyone will

And? Did I say 'ALL' brides diet?

It's a pointless comment then saying tbh a lot of brides do - what was the point of saying that. It's not an excuse for MIL2B to be so rude

If my comment is pointless then so is yours.
Some brides do diet, it's relevant.

Tbh I’d have the same reaction to anyone telling me what to eat/not eat. For it to be my future MIL is just grist to the mill really. It’s everything wrong with the DIL-MIL relationship encapsulated in one drawing room montage!

I hate how some women police other women's food intake. I doubt the OP's mum would have said anything to her son if he had started eating the sweets.

Good that your sister-in-law stood up for you!

Very weird thing to do, my MIL would never! I'd be inclined to think it says more about her than you though - maybe she felt pressure to be a certain size/diet for her wedding?

Hopefully she won't comment again but I would just let her know (politely!) it's not something you're concerned about if she does.

I wouldn't give it a second thought. People a generation or two above always dieted pre wedding.

I agree. The SIL covered it, leave it unless she says it again.

Many still do it now. It's personal choice.

I haven't read the whole thread, but from what you've shared with us, it does sound like a generational kind of thing. But it's embarrassing anyway, so I'd make my non-diet beliefs 1000% known to her. Kindly, but firmly.

Why did mil assume op was though

It was probably meant as a joke - it's not something I would get annoyed or upset about.

I would never speak to her again. Ever! I don't care if she's going to be my MIL or not. Shit like that triggers eating disorders. Nasty bitch!

Hahaha brilliant 🤣