To ask the worst things your parents have said to you?

[BradleyGreenToes]

I’ll start -
I’m a slut
I’m a failure without any friends
I’m irrelevant to the family because I don’t have children

You're not worth a phone call or a first class stamp. This was over 20 years ago when a stamp was about 50p

That’s brutal. Are you still in contact with them?

You're short and take after your Mom's side of the family. Better be careful or you'll wind up fat.

I haven't liked you since the first time I saw you. My SD. Met me when I was 7.

No, that was my birth mother and she is never getting near my children. No one needs to feel like an inconvenience

Good for you xx

I was a ‘stupid fucking bitch’ when I was 15 and I had arranged for a friend to come over New Year’s Eve, they were due to a party, my friend last minute changed her mind so I told my my mum and she just erupted.

Also when I was about 10, I’d borrowed a friends crop top to sunbathe, took it home put it in the wash basket, mum was insistent I had stolen it, she said she’d spoken to my friends mum who had never seen it before, she’d phoned the shop it came from and it had been stolen, so she had called the police me, all complete and utter lies.

she wonders now why I can’t bring myself to help her, I’ve come to realise she didn’t care for me as a kid, why should I care for her now?

You’re like marmite, some like you some don’t

Some folk just shouldn’t have kids. It’s taken me over 50 years to realise I can’t trust my mother.

I was called fat by my dad a few years ago. Still
hurts.

Oh god i wouldn't know where to start with my mother.

Some childhood gems include "you have to suffer to look beautiful", "I never wanted a girl", "You're so fat" (size 8 and she was a size 26), she also made a massive speech the night before my wedding telling me she forgave me for having an affair with her husband (I was 10 and he was 50) and that when i realised she knew about the abuse all along.

Then after my sons death she told me I fucked up the only good thing I've ever done.

I could write a book on the crap she's said to me, been NC for a lot of years now and life is so much better, although she tells people I'm mentally ill and that's why I'm NC, so that's fun too.

"She's your problem now" when I married.

So many more criticisms when I was a child.

VLC virtually no contact since my remaining parent moved in with my sibling that abused me.

Having made a lot of effort to get dressed up for a wedding in my 20's at a size 12... "you would look beautiful if you lost weight"

My mum used to start her sentences with 'If I was you I'd ... ' or 'I think you ought to... '.

I was always a bit of a disappointment because I'm not ambitious.

We had a major fall out about 20 years ago when I finally answered back. I suspect my lovely stepfather had a word and we worked it out. She accepted that I'm not her and I'm happier than she is. All has been well since.

It's not so much the nasty (although there are plenty) comments but the lack of any support or advice whatsoever that went alongside it. They didn't like me but never explained why or what they'd rather. Other than telling me which choices I was allowed to take at GCSE/A'Level seemingly to ensure I had a miserable time and couldn't do a job I'd actually enjoy...

I went to get you aborted.

Abandoned, in care, sporadic then no contact.

Now her partner - who she chose over me and was a sleaze to me but she still stayed - has died she's tried to guilt trip me. Thank goodness I'm moving soon and she won't have my address, fucks knows how she got it the first place.

No- one will ever love you, becausecof the way you are.

Years of therapy to unpack that one!

That our eldest daughter needs to move out of a house we all had moved in with my mum to help her out and make her home a family home again. She fell out with our eldest and said she needed to move out after 4 years so we moved out and me and my eldest no longer speak to her. I still send cards for Christmas and birthdays but won't have a physical relationship with her as I don't trust her.

I’m so sorry you have been through all that, you are so strong g to have survived.
My mother likes to blame my MH for my LC with her as that’s easier than accepting responsibility for her behaviour.

I wish I'd never had you.
You've ruined every relationship I've ever had.
Piss off and live with your old man.
Fuck off to school you little scrubber
..all as a young teen.

Oh where to start with my mother:

You're so fat (many times, including the day before my wedding)
I wish I had never had children because you're such a disappointment (at least a dozen times)
You like your children too much (?!)

Those stick out

on reflection mine aren’t too bad

Parents are divorced

You’re difficult like your father
you got that (bad) trait from your mother
youre selfish
youre lazy
you stop listening when you don’t want to hear other people’s opinions
you’re too confrontational
you’re too sharp and opinionated
youre not a good parent

So many. I can't even type them because they're too awful.

Many things from both parents (they separated when I was 4 but I've grown up with 'you're just like your dad/your grandma was a horrible bitch (she wasn't), blah blah blah) but the worst was, after I'd been raped as a teen, met a new partner in my early twenties and my mum told me 'dont go telling him your sob story either'. Same mum who, when my sister was scared she was having a miscarriage, was told by our mum that she was busy gardening, so can't go with her to get checked out.

This mum only ever rings when she wants something/someone to vent about how awful said sister is/her medical issues (from a lifetime of smoking and drinking finally catching up to her) then wonders why I've gone low contact. Don't even get me started on dad and my other siblings, we wrote the book on dysfunctional but I'm 'too sensitive' when I call them out on their shitty behaviour.

OP, did our parents attend the same parenting course?

My mum repeatedly told me I didn’t have any friends when I was a kid and teenager. Odd as I had loads and she didn’t have any.

When I did fall out with some friends at school in my teens, both parents were initially very supportive, but at the first small argument – “None of your friends like you”

The other one that stuck from my mum was telling me when I was about 5 that I was just a blob on the horizon and she only had 1 child (that being our grown up brother – she told this to me, 5, my younger brother, 3, while drunk.) Mad stuff.

Sorry you’ve had that experience. I think some people are just very emotionally immature.

Are you in contact with them now?