To ask the worst things your parents have said to you?

[BradleyGreenToes]

I’ll start -
I’m a slut
I’m a failure without any friends
I’m irrelevant to the family because I don’t have children

Some of these are truly awful and heartbreaking.

I do wonder, when people go on about how much mothers naturally love their children and childless people will never know love like it, how come there are so many mothers out there who don’t seem to love their children at all. It obviously isn’t a given that a woman will feel that way about her children.

That everything was my fault, e.g. my little brother getting nits was my fault, the bathroom light broke and it was my fault. She once made me feel it was my fault my dad died when I was young, then she realised she'd gone too far with that one.
Always disagreed with anything I said, even changing her opinion on something if it was the same as mine.
She completely dominated me and I was scared of her. Even after I got my own home she spoke to me like I was the hired help.
Any time I tried to confide in her, she said Don't be so soft.

Me too, my life is a complete car crash 😢

"If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to really cry about"

"Don't eat that, you'll get fat:
"Let's see what shrunkenhead weighs"
(Note, I want even fat at this point!)

I’m the youngest of 3, two elder brothers. One day when I was about 7, my mother said that she didn’t want me, she wanted another boy. Now she is in her mid ‘90’s and terminally ill, guess who is her full time carer whilst neither of her sons has visited in years?

mum: I don’t give a sh*t about you.
You’re only a single mum on benefits (my partner had cheated and left me, I worked full time, she wanted to make me feel ashamed)
You’re just like your dad I wish I never had you.
My favourite grandchild is (sisters son) I don’t like the others (ie mine)
Your sisters can’t stand you they hate you (we get on great)
I tried to get rid of you by falling down the stairs at 8 months pregnant
You’re an embarrassment and burden (I hadn’t found a job the week I left school)
she only got a boyfriend to trick him into having a baby so she can give up work.
i was a good parent I potty trained 5 children at 12 months old but your 2 year old is in nappies.
I’m glad your nan (more like a mum) has finally died.
Told a relative I was size 22 to make me feel shit after giving birth and they bought
me size 24 pajamas. I was size 12.
you’re not allowed to breastfeed go and buy formula now.
you’re clearly schizophrenic let us take the baby.
your house is a shithole (jealous of my first house that was new and immaculate).
I’m NC with her now thankfully, she was a horrible neglectful abusive parent who made me mentally unwell and suicidal.
sorry to see many of you went through the same.

This is very painful for me to write down.
I lost a little girl at 15 months 30 years ago, not long after me and my sister had a fall out, nothing major but my mum said to me, I know you've lost your baby but she's my baby.(meaning my sister) I was heartbroken by that comment.

Well done for breaking away from her, it isn’t easy to go NC however toxic they are.

"I rejected you before you rejected me, I rejected you when you were born"

"You don't care about anyone but yourself, as soon as you move out you'll never want to be part of the family again"

"As soon as your DD turns 7 she will won't want to know you"

And numerous variations on me not caring about anyone, being selfish, wanting to cut my family out of my life, being a neglectful mother. None based on my actual actions or thoughts, all based on my parents' paranoia and anxiety.

Fun times.

I’m so sorry. That’s so self-centred of her to think that, let alone say it.

You are an accident of birth.
If your dad tells you to jump, you jump - even if it’s off a cliff.
I’ve finished with you - I’ll feed you, and I’ll clothe you, and that’s it (I was about ten).
Of course I don’t have any respect for you! You’ll get respect when you’re married with a family of your own.
When I told (my godmother) I was pregnant, she said, ‘Oh shit.’
The doctor offered me an abortion when he told me I was pregnant with you.

Oh, there’s loads.

'You're so fake, aren't you' said by my step dad with a pedantic 😊 on my 20something birthday. Was just chilling in the living room on my phone.

'You're ashamed of your dd' when I was in the midst of a mental breakdown trying to keep it together with a newborn, because i wanted nothing to do with people from my past (again by sd)

Oh God...where to start...

My mum to me age 12: "Get upstairs with your ugly face and your silly little hormones"....my mum to my 5 year old brother about me when I was 12: "Did you know she has a hairy fanny?" My mum to me age 14: " I should have aborted you" my mum to me age 14 "To think I always wanted a daughter and I got you"....

These are just a few....some are too dark and disturbing to share....she's better now, a "reformed character"....but my twin girls are 13 and I can't imagine treating them the way she treated me....a part of me will always hate her.

I'm sorry to all those who have had horrible comments, though there is some solidarity in knowing it happened to others as it's something that's not really talked about - I think a lot of people can't comprehend there are women who aren't naturally maternal (though somehow people accept that dad's can be shit!)

Mine were similar to some on here -
Never wanted you
Never wanted a girl
You ruined my figure
Your dad left because you came along and he changed his mind (often linked with 'and that's why we're poor')
No one will ever want to marry you (ultimate insult, as she held male attention as the ultimate aim in life)
You're boring/ugly/have bad teeth/have bad eyes just like your father
I don't like your name your dad chose it
You're weird if you don't want to fit in
'why do you always do this to me' - response to everything, from asking for dinner money, to arguing with siblings, or doing well in homework (the last one made her feel stupid apparently)
The best/worst one as you see fit, was telling me repeatedly when I was 14/15 that I needed to be less frigid and go to parties and sleep with boys otherwise no one would like me.

I left as soon as I could and never looked back. Didn't cut contact completely as knew it would cause a lot of stress for my siblings, but I did move a long distance so that it was easier to avoid her. She died bitter and angry, after pushing a lot of people away.

💐❤

I feel the same way about my so called mother, I hope she dies alone with the realisation that all of her children hate her. She's a vile nasty bitch who spent years traumatising her children, I hate her.

I guess mine was pretty mild in comparison but it is etched in my memory. I am about 8 years old and washing the dishes. My dad (drunk) is standing over me shouting that I am, and I quote, "washing clean dishes with a dirty sponge" (yeah, didn't make sense to me even at that age) and that I am "dumb like a pawn". Yes, I am aware that he used the idiom incorrectly. I also stopped speaking to him at the age of 11 so, luckily, I grew up knowing that he was out of order and his comments are no reflection of me as a person. But the memory is still there...
My grandfather told me on my 13th birthday that he loved me even though I don't deserve it. It ruined our relationship and probably a lot of my romantic relationships as well. It was more unexpected seeing that he was absolutely wonderful to me throughout my childhood and up until that point. It was a lot more impactful to me than my father's drunk outbursts.

Once you turn 18, you're not entitled to unconditional love from us.

near constant weight related comments in my teens and how i looked in clothes. I was super fit and super slim but very curvy. Gave me an absolute complex about food, the size of my arse and so on. I now understand these are her issues and i should ignore but the damage is done. She did however make one comment to my niece - I am still amazed that I didn’t make the 10 o’clock news with my reaction. Not on my watch.

Hard to choose really. Strong contenders would be:

‘I love you because you’re my daughter but I often don’t like you’

Calling me a slut any time I was slightly untidy or messy

Telling me the whole family treads on eggshells around me and talks behind my back about how they have more fun when I’m not there

When I was sad not to have been invited to a party by my friends aged about 11, ‘It’s probably because you smell bad. People don’t like being friends with the smelly girl’. She had NEVER discussed personal hygeine with me before or told me I needed to wear deodorant before that point.

Calling me a dirty little slut when our dog stole a used sanitary pad out of my bedroom bin and chewed it up.

She would swear blind I had the happiest, most idyllic childhood 😂

The best/worst one as you see fit, was telling me repeatedly when I was 14/15 that I needed to be less frigid and go to parties and sleep with boys otherwise no one would like me.

I got a variation on this from my father as he handed me my yearly maintenance cheque for uni “Don’t spend all your time with one boyfriend”
I wish I’d replied “OK. I’ll dump him and put it about a bit”

I still feel really guilty though so I don’t feel I will be free of her until she is dead

When my mum told me I should have had my daughter adopted if all I wanted to do was go out

To address those horrible comments and counteract them:

You're not a slut, you're a lovely respectable person

You're not a failure, there will be people in your life who will consider you their friend and I'm sure there are people who you care for too.

You are very relevant to those who matter in many ways and a full and complete person who is enough just as they are (with or without children we are all worthy, special and important)

Take care of yourself OP ❤️