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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think staff at playcentres etc should not smoke in front of children?

115 replies

levan · 03/05/2008 14:21

Perhaps I'm being overly sensitive, but I've witnessed this a couple of times recently and it's got me thinking. The first time two members of staff were smoking directly outside the entrance to our local soft play centre, and what made it worse was that the wind was blowing the smoke back into the room. Then today my dd and I visited a children's farm - everything about it was lovely, but once again two staff members were sitting at an outside cafe table and smoking. I don't for a minute begrudge them a smoke break, but I do think they should smoke in an area away from public view. What do you reckon?

OP posts:
Bubble99 · 03/05/2008 20:07

Apart from their own, of course.

Original poster
levan · 03/05/2008 20:27

It's interesting to hear people's opionions. Not sure though that anything I have said justifies my being called a 'major control freak', Freddy. Also, the staff in this case clearly DO give a shit about the message they are sending out, otherwise they would have a couldn't care less attitude which definitely isn't the case! I am questioning one aspect of their behaviour, that's all

OP posts:
stripeymama · 03/05/2008 20:28

Nice people can smoke too!

stripeymama · 03/05/2008 20:29

Maybe that mid-morning fag is the only thing between them and a couldn't-care-less attitude?

foxythesnowfox · 03/05/2008 20:29

My oldest 3 (6,5 and 3) are aware of it and talk about it
I agree that seeing people do it 'normalises' it, just as eating junk is normal.

When they've asked why people do it, what am I meant to say? (I'm not sure how to explain it. Personal choice doesn't seem to cover it).

I tried to say, its a disgusting stupid thing to do and makes people really sick. "Does it kill them?" Sometimes "so is XXX dad going to die" - Foxy panics about what will be said in the playground tomorrow. (Oh, what pleasant dinner conversations we have in our house!!)

People who work around children shouldn't be seen smoking. Organisations, if they are going to allow people to smoke, should make sure they are responsible to both the customers and their workers and allocate somewhere suitable.

foxythesnowfox · 03/05/2008 20:32

Saying that, in the days of the smoking room at work, all the smokers had an advantage because they'd get all the goss first!

Original poster
levan · 03/05/2008 20:37

Thanks foxy, glad I'm not the only one! And I don't know about other toddlers but mine doesn't miss a trick.

OP posts:
ranting · 03/05/2008 20:41

No toddlers don't miss a trick but, you are still the primary influence on them. I know a woman who gets all huffy every time she passes a smoker on the street but, she practically starves herself. Her children are far more likely to have problems with food when they grow up than smoke just because they passed some anonymous bod on the street with a fag on.

foxythesnowfox · 03/05/2008 20:49

I do think that some pubs should be licensed for smokers. I think its crap that you can't have a fag and a drink in comfort anymore.

swiftyknickers · 03/05/2008 20:58

god i completely agree with levan-exactly the same here (your not in warwick are you?!!)watched one of them go out and have a fag, come back in go into the kitchen and then start preparing food without even washing her hands-vom
although she is a hound this girl, she clearly hates children, oh and adults. i bet she spits in my coffee

FreddysTeddy · 03/05/2008 21:06

You sounds like a major control freak because you expect other people to live up to your expectations, regardless of their own right to live their own lives their own way.

CoteDAzur · 03/05/2008 21:13

YABU and a bit Precious.

You can't expect people who come in contact with your DCs to be perfect so they will never see anything else.

Can staff bite their nails or will you be cross at that as well?

Can they be overweight?

southeastastra · 03/05/2008 21:15

only read op, they should have gone round a corner out of sight

Minkus · 03/05/2008 23:34

I agree with southeastastra and the op, I would be really disappointed with seeing people who work with children smoking during their shift. Would make me not want to go back there to be honest. And yes I would ban smoking on telly too! (am an ex smoker and know how hard it was to give up when smoking is so accepted and "normalised" that nobody bats an eyelid)

Original poster
levan · 04/05/2008 12:41

Ok, just wondered what people thought and it's clear that most people don't agree with me - which is fine - so can we leave it there? I don't appreciate being called a control freak and as I said I don't think it's justified.

OP posts:
Original poster
levan · 04/05/2008 17:11

Sorry, that post was written in haste and rather defensively. Freddy, what I meant to say is that you are welcome to tell me that this particular opinion of mine is unreasonable, illogical, unfair or just plain wrong. It is not fair though to make a negative judgement about my personality on the basis of this opinion.

OP posts:
foxythesnowfox · 04/05/2008 17:26

Well, I'm happy to be a precious control freak if it means I can avoid my children thinking its OK to smoke.

I think smokers get defensive, but the reality is it is an illogical thing to do. There is no good reason to do it.

I completely understand the enjoyment of a cigarette, but can't justify it against choosing to poison myself. Have done it, very occasionally do it, and don't feel good about it.

pointydog · 04/05/2008 17:32

I think YABU. Do you object because you think your children might want to copy these people?

pointydog · 04/05/2008 17:33

foxy, re being asked why people do it. You could just say people become addicted to the nictoine in cigarettes and find it very very hard to stop, if you don't want to admit that some people actually enjoy it.

FreddysTeddy · 04/05/2008 17:45

I didn't say you were a major control freak, I said you were sounding like one.

I haven't passed comment on your personality, I don't know you, I'm passing comment on the way you are coming across on here.

FreddysTeddy · 04/05/2008 17:46

Btw - by posting in AIBU, you basically are asking people to pass comment on your thoughts and ideas.

Chequers · 04/05/2008 18:04

Message withdrawn

foxythesnowfox · 04/05/2008 18:39

Children won't be influenced by one instance, but they will be if it is normalised. So, the more people they see doing it, the more normal it is. The more you see something, perhaps subliminally, then the more acceptable it becomes.

And the fact is, we all know its a completely stupid thing to start. Its addictive and it kills you, you can't dispute that.

But yes, people do it because they like it. Doesn't make it right or good though does it?

Chequers · 04/05/2008 18:42

Message withdrawn

foxythesnowfox · 04/05/2008 19:13

I am uber protective of my children, I admit. I just want to protect them and keep them healthy. What happens now will affect them in later life. If they grow up around people who smoke, they are more likely to do it. So if I see people smoking and they comment on it I'll continue to tell them its not OK.

I am utterly guilty of being PFB (precious fourth born)