To ask what you do on nights when you don't have a glass of wine

[Stuffisperplexing]

I have a glass of wine every single night

Just one (or two)

But I think the reliance on it is unhealthy and I'd like to not drink for a bit

It doesn't help that I have anxiety and low mood and wine gives such a nice dopamine rush

It sort of blows my mind that some people don't drink it at all - I'm quite envious of the self reliance

You can't replace alcoholic drinks with non-alcoholic drinks as they obviously won't do the same thing, which is relax you and pass the time I suppose. Up to Christmas, I was basically drinking every day except when very busy or very tired. It's very much a boredom thing to me. I'll be starting dry January on Monday so will have to entertain myself some other way!

I'm not stopping my weekend drinking, even though dh is going full on smug dry Jan, but I am going to try and cut down. The problem, like a pp said, is that nothing actually equates to alcohol. It's like having an apple when you want chocolate; doesn't hit the spot.

I've bought some alcohol free gin to try, although I'm not sure why it's only 6 quid cheaper than real gin.

Filling the time during the week is fine. But Friday and Saturday night when you're all watching a film or something and you've worked your arse off all week and been up early on sat morning for the gym feels like there needs to be a more substantial treat.

Agree - was just discussing with a friend how mystifying people who are content with a cup of tea are. Our brains are just like is this it where's the treat? Like labradors but for booze instead of gravy bones.

@Caterguin . I had a few non alcoholic gins in the summer to try them out. The Tanqueray 0% wins all the taste tests as they use the same botanicals as in their ordinary gin. I agreed.

I quite like non alcoholic drinks when I’m driving/out for dinner. They taste more like the real thing as the makers get better and I don’t like coke/fanta/soft drinks. I find them much too sweet.

I used to have a drink most evenings with my XH who drank red wine every day without fail. I try not to drink other than one evening a week now and I don’t miss it. It was just a habit for me personally. I do feel jaded the next day when I have a drink, even if it’s only one (250ml of wine), I reckon that’s my age/menopause tbh.

If you want the nice buzz without the awful effects of alcohol try taking ashwaganda or roadiola. Magesiun glycinate is amazing for anxiety and sleep too! Take an hour or two before bed. Adaptogenic drinks including these can be found in Holland and Barrett too x

So. You just have one glass a day. You don't think this is having any negative effect on your health. You really enjoy it. You think it's better for you than juice. You are sure that the rest of Europe do the same. You (are presumably) a healthy weight.

Why do you want to stop? If you don't think there's problem then just carry on! Why do you need to justify it? Or are you just curious about what other people do?

Personally I drink appetiser or sparkling lime in a wine glass with a bowl of crisps if I am avoiding alcohol. I prefer wine but I think it's healthier to not drink daily/keep weekly units to a sensible amount.

I am just fully fascinated by the idea of preferring something else to a glass of wine (or equivalent) for that sort of point in an evening. I think it would be good to try other world views. But a lot of the alternatives sort of remind me of old ladies in the 80 - typhoo and doily table cloths and a big muttony spoonful of scotch broth

I'm probably brainwashed by 90s alcohol advertising or sthg

This.

I only stop if I'm putting on weight, then I have early nights instead. Trying just to drink at weekends now Christmas is over as I feel all puffy and blugh so it will be long baths and early nights.

Tonic water with lots of ice and lemon slices. Or lime cordial with soda water and a dash of bitters is another good one.
I don't really like cordial that much in lieu of alcohol as I like that sharpness/bitterness. Robinsons do some good cordials think it's called fruit creations like lime and mint which aren't overly sweet.

I don’t prefer tea, or fizzy water, or whatever else to wine. But I also know that it’s not healthy physically or mentally to have wine every night, and I also do things that are incompatible with alcohol on several evenings.

You’re not obliged to answer Q’s, but I did note that you haven’t said how many nights a bottle lasts, or whether you’d consider the challenge of Dry January.

I think dry January is a stupid idea for smug people. I don't think it's a challenge just a dumb arbitrary project. I wouldn't get any satisfaction from it.

A bottle lasts about a week.

Yeah I’m also not sure why you’ve started the thread, other than to recount the conversations you’ve had with friends about how superior you are to non-wine drinkers.

If a bottle lasts a week, you’re a) having less than a 125ml glass a night, which hardly seems worth the daily exposure, and b) drinking it past its best, which is a bit odd for such a wine bore.

Are you wanting to manage your mood without alcohol, OP? You mentioned anxiety and that the wine helps you feel better. Are there other things you do to cheer yourself up or calm yourself down?

I think there's a lot to the idea that the desire for a drink in the evening is partly due to withdrawing from the drink the previous day. We think that "withdrawal" is only for addicts but any alcohol or sugar creates a similar effect and then we crave a replacement. I certainly notice it when I drink more often eg over Christmas

My more charitable response than previous message would be - you came on saying you’d like to not drink for a bit, and be less reliant on it for mood. Perhaps you were hoping for a miracle answer that wasn’t ‘self-control’. Perhaps you hoped people would say a glass or two a night is fine, crack on.

You didn’t get those answers and are perhaps now going into denial mode. Understandable, but Mumsnet isn’t going to help you in that case. You need to find more meaning, excitement or balance in your life, for yourself or with some professional help. No shame in it.

I just don't find your style of conversation very fun. If you can't find humour what's the point of anything. You'll see that other people have managed to shoot the breeze about it rather than going all village elder finger wag.

I agree, the original post had a sense of wanting to know how people manage to feel OK and deal with their feelings without drinking in the evening. Perfectly reasonable but ended up with "you all sound like little old ladies and I'm perfectly happy as I am". Defences kicking in I guess.

why are people who don't need to drink every single day "smug"?

It's the idea of being at home every evening, doing nothing and having to have a drink to pass the time because they are so bored that I find very sad, but each to their own.

I don't even understand how can anyone ever has time to be bored in life. You need to find some satisfaction in your life, it sounds empty.

it's not the not drinking - don't drink, have what makes you happy in this life! It's the making an event you tell everyone about that's annoying. See also sober October (that bothers me less cos I appreciate a catchy name)

Fair enough, I won’t engage with your thread anymore.

Signed, someone who also likes a drink, and who has in the past found humour a useful deflection from my problems.

It's not that, it's people like dh who usually drinks a fair bit- and is probably responsible for me drinking more than I should- who, whenever I say I think I'll have a glass of wine, come back with:"Well I'm not, I'm doing dry January. "
Yes, I know you are. You tell me about it all December then all through January; a bit in February, then you're back to normal by March.

As for an empty life - I am not sure what else I could add to it. I do more than most people I know (perhaps for the same reason I like wine).

I go to an exercise class and have recently started doing jigsaws as they are a good distraction

Exactly!

It's not like the default is wine. For most people their normal evening isn't drinking. I enjoy it if I'm out, but wouldn't want to sit drinking wine on a normal weekday evening just for its own sake. But you do you. I also wonder why you started the thread. It does sound like you have an alcohol issue which you are semi in denial about.

The way you've desc your days, you made it sound like wine is the most enjoyable part. And your bewilderment that people can have an evening without that particular pleasure is noticeable