Friends with partner for 8 years, in a relationship for 9/10 months. Partner has 3 kids (2 are teens and do their own thing don’t see them) youngest is 9. My children are 6 and 10. Very different parenting styles, very different backgrounds (my youngest was recently diagnosed with ADHD and put on meds which has made a huge difference to some of his challenging behaviours however …) I have my own home, car etc - I pay for everything bills etc. Partner has a flat which he stays at sometimes but mostly spends time here and when he has his youngest it’s here. His youngest is quite demanding and cheeky and has really poor manners which I struggle with and pretty much takes over my home when here. There is no set arrangement with partner and his ex - she moved on and had another child and basically when she feels she needs a break youngest is sent here, or to partners moms. Partner is heavily focused on his youngest doesn’t really bother about his elder two but puts it down to them not wanting to bother with him because of their age/friends etc I still think he could make more effort. Small things like what’s app photo will only be of his youngest or when he speaks he will only refer to youngest rather than say “my 3” or use their names, just makes me uncomfortable. I don’t get told when his youngest is coming to stay, just expected to accommodate and pull money out of the sky to care for another child in my home … this Christmas he began buying presents for his youngest in October, his other 2 were not as much of a priority and basically me and them and my 2 were left until 2 and 3 days before Xmas. He blew 2 weeks of wages on further presents for his youngest leaving the household struggling to get by over Xmas then accused me of using him when I commented that there needed to be more structure and communication regarding his son and staying arrangements. My family have made every effort to make him and his son welcome - his mom on the other hand acts like me and my children don’t exist not even so much as an orange was sent for my kids at Xmas. Not to mention he also has a dog which I am expected to look after when he is working - I don’t have a dog by choice and she is boisterous making it difficult for guests/visitors. I just feel completely disrespected and not a priority at all, he says I’m spiteful and don’t want him and his dog or son here it’s more to do with the fact it’s my home not his or ours and I feel taken advantage of 😳am I being unreasonable