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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is strange from my neighbour?

470 replies

Pekitothebunny · 02/01/2025 10:43

This morning I woke up to a pack of Christmas cards that have been posted through my door. They are new Christmas cards, still sealed within their pack, unused. A note came with it saying “hi, it’s Janet from number 5. I bought these for you to send out to the neighbours next year”

Huh? Why would anyone do that? She’s isn’t my direct neighbour, she’s like 4 houses down. We don’t speak or have any kind of relationship. However, since we moved in a few years ago she has always sent us a Christmas card, and I assume she sends them to everyone on the street. We don’t bother with Christmas cards and never send them out. Could it be that she’s offended that we never send cards so this is her not so subtle way of hinting that she will be expecting a card from us in 2025?? Why would anyone care so much?

Im planning on just throwing the cards away and ignoring it. Would anyone else find this weird?

OP posts:
MyDeftDuck · 02/01/2025 12:28

Comedycook · 02/01/2025 10:45

That's hilarious. How incredibly passive aggressive!

This.
And I would feel inclined to hand them back to her saying 'no use to me, I dont send cards'

Mmmcheese89 · 02/01/2025 12:28

I'd be tempted to sign them all to Janet immediately. Each with a caveat to not be opened until Christmas2025, 26, 27. Etc. make it her problem to keep them, store them and open them appropriately. I know it's technically wasteful but I'm just that kind of petty.

Sherararara · 02/01/2025 12:30

Post them back to her one card a day until the pack is used up.
Then tell her you have run out and could she please drop some more off.

Owly11 · 02/01/2025 12:30

@SleeplikeababyTonight that’s part of my thinking about why she should pop round - it will give her more information about what’s going on with the neighbour.

bebanjo · 02/01/2025 12:31

I would address them all to her, put different year dates on them, Xmas 2025, 2026 etc. And put them all back through her letterbox.

Runningoutofthyme · 02/01/2025 12:31

I would write in every card

to janet

merry Christmas 2025 (then a card for 2026,7,8 etc until your out of cards)

from number 11

And post them all so Janet is set for the next 5-10 years depending on card pack size. If you move though, be sure to advise the new home owners of the year they need to take over sending the cards 😂

FoxyPickles · 02/01/2025 12:31

friendconcern · 02/01/2025 12:27

Not being christian
Not wanting to clutter up yours and other peoples houses with pointless tat
Not wanting to place even more strain on the environment
Not knowing people well enough to send them a card
Not wanting to

I disagree there are loads of reasons not to

Show quote history

yep- lots of sensible reasons not to send cards. I dont any more and neither do most people I know. They're a complete waste of money and time and they only end up in the bin come Jan. I will WhatsApp people I want to wish a happy Christmas.

Projectme · 02/01/2025 12:32

StrawberryWater · 02/01/2025 11:53

Better than what my neighbour did. She posted weed killer through my door. Apparently I had a few dandelions in my front garden that weren't keeping up with the areas 'aesthetic'. Batty old bag.

Kind of thing my neighbour would do. 🙄So much pass agg stuff she's done in the past too.
We exchange xmas cards (begrudgingly by me as she is such a PITA) and this year we had one from her with a pass agg quote about it being our 'only' communication in 2024 🙄

AlpacaMittens · 02/01/2025 12:33

Incredibly strange! Slightly unhinged. I'd return them with a note along the lines of "no, thank you, returning as didn't want them going to waste, have a happy new year"

MJconfessions · 02/01/2025 12:33

This is very weird.

personally if you were due to move out relatively soon, I would ignore this. But if you’re going to live there with her in the vicinity for the foreseeable future, I would want to nip this kind of thing in the bud now. The last thing you want is a resentful neighbour lurking and destroying your enjoyment of where you live. If she’s tallying up the lack of Christmas cards in her head, she’s also going to be watching out for any other perceived snubs from you. Bins, parking, state of your front garden, visitors etc.

If your husband does not think this is a big deal then get him to knock, ask her what this is about and return the cards. Maybe clarify that you don’t send cards and it’s not personal. Or just post them back to her. Either way just make it clear it’s unwanted.

I don’t agree about cutting her slack for wanting to foster a one-sided neighbourly community. She went about it the wrong way.

adultchildhelp · 02/01/2025 12:34

I'd put them back through the door with a note saying

'Thanks. We don't send Christmas cards because we make a charity donation instead. This is far better in terms of the environment and caring for others in the community. I've enclosed some information about local charities - hopefully you will get on board next year'

MJconfessions · 02/01/2025 12:35

Projectme · 02/01/2025 12:32

Kind of thing my neighbour would do. 🙄So much pass agg stuff she's done in the past too.
We exchange xmas cards (begrudgingly by me as she is such a PITA) and this year we had one from her with a pass agg quote about it being our 'only' communication in 2024 🙄

Show quote history

gosh, how weird. If I was her, I would question the point of sending someone a Christmas card if that was the only contact I had with someone the entire year…as opposed to writing that in the card.

mangochutneyjar · 02/01/2025 12:36

adultchildhelp · 02/01/2025 12:34

I'd put them back through the door with a note saying

'Thanks. We don't send Christmas cards because we make a charity donation instead. This is far better in terms of the environment and caring for others in the community. I've enclosed some information about local charities - hopefully you will get on board next year'

I would do this- give her some suggestions back as to how she can "make a difference" to her community seeing as its so important to her

TammyJones · 02/01/2025 12:38

Dfg15 · 02/01/2025 10:45

I'd be very tempted to put them back through her letterbox with a note saying that you don't send cards to anyone, so will not need them to send to neighbours.

Tell her it's a waste of trees : bad for the environment

Username10099 · 02/01/2025 12:38

What a funny post! I mean, from the neighbour, posting a pack of Xmas card through the door!

I thought you were going to say that you took the unopened pack of cards and posted it through her letter box with a note: Happy Christmas from me for the next ( 10?) years ( or however any cards there were in the pack)!

Seriously though, if it had been me, and I had moved into a neighbourhood a 'few years ago' and I'd received a Xmas card, I would think that was nice of them to include me, and I would have sent one back to them.

In my neighbourhood, I have never initiated sending cards to anyone, but have always reciprocated to those who have sent me one.

Now, a few of the neighbours have started giving little gifts to me and to other neighbours.
I draw the line at that, and graciously send my thanks to them, but no gifts.

Jeezitneverends · 02/01/2025 12:42

Tink3rbell30 · 02/01/2025 10:52

Its polite to send a card back, no excuse not to.

What about that I make a charitable donation to the equivalent (probably a bit more now I think about it) of what I’d spend on cards and stamps….does that make me impolite?

NovemberMorn · 02/01/2025 12:43

Why try to guilt-trip her just because she sends cards?
What she did was silly, and possibly a bit spiteful, but I certainly wouldn't blame anyone for sending Christmas cards, citing you don't send them because you are protecting the environment. (they can always be recycled after the holiday)
That's almost as passively aggressive as her posting the cards through in the first place.

I send 30 odd and get similar back. It's a lovely tradition that I for one have no intention of stopping.

Liv999 · 02/01/2025 12:43

I'd send them back through her letterbox with a note saying send them yourself, this is so rude of her

InSpainTheRain · 02/01/2025 12:45

That is so passive aggressive of her! I'd just ignore it and donate them.

NameChanger91736 · 02/01/2025 12:46

This is hilarious. I have an image of a woman proudly displaying all of her Christmas cards to her guests... and her guests dont know that shes basically forced people to send her cards 🤣🤣🤣

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 02/01/2025 12:47

I would go to her door and sing...

We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year

And then just when she thinks you're finished, I would continue...

Good tidings we bring
To you and your kin
Good tidings for Christmas
And a happy new year
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year

And slight pause then...

Now bring us a figgy pudding
Now bring us a figgy pudding
Now bring us a figgy pudding
And bring some out here
Now bring us a figgy pudding
Now bring us a figgy pudding
Now bring us a figgy pudding
Then bring some out here

And if you can take DP and any DC to be able to end on a beautiful (or not so beautiful) harmony all the better.

Then a flourish of thank yous and retreat back home 😂

Oioisavaloy27 · 02/01/2025 12:47

Send her one of her own cards back next year.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 02/01/2025 12:48

Its not very neighbourly to not give your neighbours cards, or at least reciprocate.

I wonder if they talk about you.

NameChanger91736 · 02/01/2025 12:49

EdithBond · 02/01/2025 12:27

Very odd behaviour, which comes across as patronising and interfering. But there’s a chance she may be struggling and this is an attempt to reach out to her neighbours.

I’d take them back to her. Knock her door. Ask how she is. Try to have a little friendly chat. Say, thank you very much but you don’t send Xmas cards, so have no use for them and hand them back. Be totally pleasant.

If misunderstandings aren’t nipped in the bud with neighbours they can fester and escalate. Best to be kind, friendly and upfront.

Absolutely do not do this. She sounds like a busy body as it is, dont engage with her or shell be round all the time with weird demands

SexAndCakes · 02/01/2025 12:49

Pekitothebunny · 02/01/2025 11:53

DP also thinks this as well. He said he thinks she’s just trying to be nice and doesn’t realise it comes across rude or passive aggressive and maybe just wants a bit of community or to build a relationship. But I find it odd.. if that’s the case then it’s a strange way to go about it

Show quote history

I thought this too - that she likely put them through all the doors in an attempt to build some sense of community. I doubt you have been the sole target. It's extremely odd behaviour but I wouldn't give it too much thought.

No need to change what you do, though I have to say that if I had a well-meaning neighbour sending me a card over the years I would have reciprocated. Doesn't mean you have to start sending to anyone else.