To think this is strange from my neighbour?

[Pekitothebunny]

This morning I woke up to a pack of Christmas cards that have been posted through my door. They are new Christmas cards, still sealed within their pack, unused. A note came with it saying “hi, it’s Janet from number 5. I bought these for you to send out to the neighbours next year”

Huh? Why would anyone do that? She’s isn’t my direct neighbour, she’s like 4 houses down. We don’t speak or have any kind of relationship. However, since we moved in a few years ago she has always sent us a Christmas card, and I assume she sends them to everyone on the street. We don’t bother with Christmas cards and never send them out. Could it be that she’s offended that we never send cards so this is her not so subtle way of hinting that she will be expecting a card from us in 2025?? Why would anyone care so much?

Im planning on just throwing the cards away and ignoring it. Would anyone else find this weird?

What a bitch, with her behaviour how does she expect to have a friendly and polite neighbourhood, who does she think she is trying to control neighbours behaviour, not sure I could let this go, I think I would put a well worded letter through her letter box when returning the cards

Well Pekitothebunny, at least you have cleared the air.
She sounds grumpy, probably counted the years she sent out cards and didn't receive one back, so posted the cards, not in a friendly gesture, but in a mean one.
Take the cards to a charity shop and forget about it.
In my experience, dealing with neighbours like her is just to ignore.
You both made your point, she would be silly to carry it on.

I think I would put a well worded letter through her letter box when returning the cards

No. Do not do this! I said don't engage, don't give her ammunition and I was right.

What a self centred, delusional person, I wouldn’t bother with her any more. You’re clearly a lot politer than I would have been after talking to her.

I experienced something (slightly) similar when I lived in SW London over 30 years ago now. I'd not long moved in and an old lady was standing at her gate a couple of doors down from me when I left for work one morning, running for the tube as per! I glanced at her with a half smile and she shouted something out to me. I stopped and turned and she had a massive rant at me 'in my day people used to stop and say good morning and chat to their neighbours to be friendly', blah blah blah. I apologised for not saying anything and smiled and said good morning then ran off!
Sadly, people leaving their homes in the morning are almost always in a rush. Not like the old days where there was often time for the housewife to stand on the doorstep and have a jangle with the neighbours. I'm talking 1940s and 50s here so don't get your knickers in a twist because I've dared say housewife - that's how things used to be!
I felt a bit sorry for her but I did say good morning to her after that if she was ever at her gate - which was often!

An almost identical scenario happened to my friend this Christmas:

A neighbour a few doors away, an older lady - say 75/80'ish, collared her in their road the day before Christmas Eve and said 'You're leaving it a bit late to send cards aren't you? By the time I receive one it won't be worth putting it up'.

Now my friend is very similar to me - we both like the tradition of popping out to do our local card deliveries by hand on Christmas Eve - it's part of the fun.

My friend explained this to the neighbour who just huffed, 'what's the point in that', and walked off.

Bleeding cheek! We both laughed and said that will be us one day when our old lady loopy dementia kicks in.

How old is your Janet @Pekitothebunny ?

From your update, I think you did absolutely the right thing OP, you explained that you weren't being rude, and explained your reasons for not sending her a card, but she chose to respond by having a rant at you, rather than appreciating your explanation and offering the hand of friendship. Therefore, to my mind you're perfectly justified in ignoring her in future. Well done for doing the 'right thing'.

Not as old as that, I think she is in her 60s. Her husband died last year and due to talk getting around the street, I know he was 67 and she looks roughly the same age I’d say

She's the right age for dementia to begin then - mid 60's

Perhaps keep an eye on her just in case - especially as she's also grieving.
That's being a better neighbour than sending a Christmas card anyway!

@Pekitothebunny you absolutely did the right thing, as at least now she knows you don't send cards, and she won't do it again!

I would post the cards back through her letterbox with no further explanation, as she'll know they're from you.

It might not even be dementia per se. Speaking from experience, if you're bereaved in your 60s and have no immediate family to turn to, the grief and loneliness can cause a complete breakdown.

Oh op, I think you did the right thing. You can't control the reaction of others unfortunately. You addressed it politely, and that is all you can do.
As pp's have pointed out, it does sound like dementia. My df's started in his 60's, he was dead by 72. His whole mood changed at first, he would just get really angry and a whole change of character and values. Towards the end he became really passive, disinterested and agreeable, so the opposite of what he was like at the start. It is a cruel illness.

This lady may not have it, but it isn't normal mental health for her to behave that way. Maybe she is a bit messed up since her dh died. It is sad.

You sound like such a nice person OP.

How many cards in the pack? I'd send her one every month

Oh dear, I was really expecting her to be much older than her 60s. That's a shame. Perhaps there's something you could do that would cheer her up but I can't think of any natural opportunities until Easter, really. Maybe if you see some mince pies you could drop a box through her door with a note or something to cheer her up without a conversation/confrontation?

Use them to send one next year to all the neighbours - except Janet.

My DH says send her one now , so in good time for Xmas this year

Oh goodness no, it'll start an Easter card war next! On a serious note, I feel sorry for this lady though, if she is so very tormented by this, and undoubtedly many other things too; this is not a nice way to live. I hope she has family.

Post them back through her letterbox.

Thank you for update

I think it was polite of you to say thanks and give a valid and common explanation about not sending cards which is in decline.

She sounds like abs Mrs Mangle type from
neighbours….means well but a bit busy bodying.