Friends awful baby name

[ThisIcyHare]

My best friend is due to have a baby soon, they are having a girl and she has been talking baby names with me, which feels super special. She has got a few very lovely traditional girly names, and a couple of more unusual choices, but not ‘offensive’. They are names I would expect from her. However, she has one absolutely terrible name, that actually just feels very cruel. It would be bad even by American standards and ‘tragedeigh’ names. It’s not that I wouldn’t choose it, it’s just crazy stupid and the child will be ridiculed by peers and adults. Some of her choices are genuinely wonderful, but I’m so worried she will madly choose this one awful name, I can’t say anything can I?!

I know of a little boy called Champion. He happens to be a naturally gifted athlete. So that’s cool for him. He also comes from a place where people have very optimistic and complimentary names so he wouldn’t stand out culturally. However - what if he hadn’t had the good fortune to be the fastest boy in the class? If I’d called one of my kids Champion I might as well have put a target on his back.

Words do have meaning and depending what it is, they could be an open goal for peer mockery and potentially a lifetime of feeling like an unmet parental expectation. The sound of the word itself might be pleasing but it’s like, yeah, meet Alacrity McPherson who can barely tie her own laces, Honesty Reid who has a negotiable attitude towards the truth. I think I’d just say it, before it’s too late. I would be interested to know what it is but I’m guessing if it’s in the Integrity ball-park it’s probably risky.

Honesty? Modesty? Chastity? Sounds like that category of name.

I think it must be 'loyalty'

Honesty? Don’t like virtue names but it’s also a flower.

Purity?

Oh crap has she been watching Nautilus and wants to call her baby Humility?

One way to dissuade her is to play around with the variants of the name, what people might shorten it to. If it actually was 'integrity' then 'gritty' or 'teggy' so that she can see the down sides.

I saw a story about that name. The mother eventually conceded defeat and chose a better name

Then she just needs to marry someone called Mr Doodah for the full effect!

I’m not surprised. I’ve still never truly forgiven my parents for calling me Clare and I’d say on the name front I got off ridiculously lightly. 🤣

And can be shortened to Seren, which is Welsh for star, and a very popular name in wales.

Is possible that she has told you this name as a joke. I still call occasionally my adult kids dumb names if we out. It's a stupid joke but it makes them laugh. I call them the most pretentious names I can think of.

Personally I would tell her. She’s your best friend and if the name is hideous you should be honest as her child will be ridiculed for life.

Is it Megatron?

Conscience.
Am I right??

You have reminded me that I once came across a Metatron. Biblical apparently, Enoch’s Angel name.

Definitely sounds like a Transformer though

Is it Authenticity?

There is some public person in my country(she is s journalist and her partner a politician) who decided they will name her daughter Princess. Not to call her 'princess' but they actually gave her first name Princess. And we don't use middle names, sometimes lately a child is given 2 first names, but still not very popular, so she can only go by that name. She must be a teenager now and I feel so so sorry for poor girl.

I completely agree! So many people on this site become weirdly angered if they feel someone has "wasted their time" or "abused their help" when it's just an opinion they've given whilst wasting time.

She has chosen to discuss / share these options with you. You are friends why can’t you just say you don’t like it and it is likely to be a millstone for the child? You are friends? Soften the blow by saying how much you like the other options.

I know a Temperance, it's quite clunky as a name.

My favourite is Wallis though, I know it's like Wallis Simpson but every time she is mentioned, I just think, "Cracking cheese, Gromit'" Poor kid.

Trumperlie? Even by American standards that would be dire!

I actually do think you can tell her if it’s genuinely awful! If you’re best friends and you have the kind of relationship where you think she would tell you, then I think you should do it. You don’t need to be all serious and stage an intervention, next time it comes up you can just say “I think those first two names are absolutely beautiful but I’m sorry - ‘Chickpea’ (or whatever the name is) doesn’t feel like such a strong choice as the others, have you thought about how they’ll feel about it as a teenager, how they’ll spell it when they learn to write and whether it fits as well with your surname..?” etc etc. Ultimately she’ll do what she wants but at least you’ll have given her a bit of honest advice and a chance to reflect. I can only speak from the place that me and my best friend are so brutally honest she would laugh in my face and say “Chickpea?! Get a grip, you can’t call a baby that” and that would be it. It is hard when you’re torn between keeping quiet (and potentially letting your friend make a mistake) or saying something and potentially insulting her. I think if you’re close enough you could tell her delicately without impacting the friendship. Good luck! X

I knew an Honor when I was young (going back about 35 years ago now!) I never thought it odd.

I'm not saying it's my favourite name ever; but it has to be better than Calamity!

I don't think Clarity would work very well in some parts of Scotland - it sounds very similar to Clarty when pronounced!