To worry people won't want to be friends with me because of my age

[LolaLemony]

I expect I'm probably being silly. But I'm having a bit of an anxiety episode as we speak and I need some honest feedback.
I'm 50.
I was late to the party with kids after a long and difficult time of dealing with fertility issues.
After a long journey, I eventually conceived and am blessed to have 2 DC who are now 13 and 10.
They both have a wide range of friends and we live in a very friendly community which means I've been lucky enough to get to know the parents of their friends well. These parents are all absolutely lovely, fun, intelligent, interesting people. But they are all between 8 to 10 years younger than me. They are all 40, or very early 40s.
I enjoy their company, they make me laugh, I have great conversations with them. I really like their children. I'd really love to develop things further and invite them round to mine or suggest days out together the kids.
But all the while, I'm thinking "Would they want to be friends with someone 8, 9, 10 years older than them?! Would they want to hang out with someone so much older?" I really genuinely think this. When I'm talking to them, I'm thinking "I wonder if they can tell how much older than them I am, I wonder if they think I'm old compared to them."
They all freely talk about their ages in conversation, they tell me what they did for their 40th birthdays last year or the year before. I'm completely cagey about my age and never ever mention it. I had my 50th and would have loved to invite them all for an evening out with me, just to the pub or for a meal, but I didn't, because I couldn't face the inevitable "How old are you going to be?" that comes with birthday celebrations. I literally don't tell anyone my age because they're all a decade, or nearly a decade, younger than me, I worry they won't want to be friends with me if they knew how much older I am than they are.
It's affecting my confidence around wanting to extend invites to them to do things together socially.

They're all extremely lovely towards me, I regularly receive compliments from them about my personality or character, and I like them all tremendously.
So tell me, would you develop a friendship with a woman 8 or 9 or 10 years older than you? Would it matter to you? Would you be prepared to build on a friendship with such a big age gap?
Be honest!

I'm in my early 30s. My closest friends are 32, 43, and 63. I wouldn't worry.

Conversely, I’ve always been one of the younger ones and I would say the average age of my local friends is about five years older than me. That includes one who is 12 years older. I’ve only noticed the age gap for positive reasons - I’ve always valued their wisdom and maturity. I feel less scared of ageing.

I honestly think the only person thinking this is yourself. Do you or have you struggled to keep friends? My only advice would be relax, it’s slight coming across a little bit OTT like a little bit desperate. Just relax be yourself and if you want to try and arrange something go for it 😊

Having older friends gives you a great perspective on aging and then hopefully you also get to be the older friend who makes others realise that turning 50 is just another number

Don't worry about it!

I'm 53 and the youngest in my friendship group. Next oldest is 59 and the rest are late 60s and 70s.

People are people, not an age!

I’m 35. My three closest “mum friends” are 42, 46 and 54. They’re the ones I go out with all the time, without the kids, and even when our kids got a bit older and stopping hanging out together, I still go out with the mum (the 46 year old) every Friday morning for coffee and we go for drinks and dinner. So, I kept my “older friends” even when our kids drifted apart.

Don’t worry about it!

I’m mid fifties. I have friends in their seventies and friends in their thirties. I have a handful of friends in their mid twenties and late eighties.

Age doesn’t affect the ability to be mates.

You can be sure that you are thinking about this a lot more than they are.

stop worrying about it!

im 55, I have a few friends around my age, a couple a bit younger and more that are older 12years, 15 years & 27. The one 27 is admittedly someone who feels 'older' but that's a lot to do with her personality, not just her age.

i doubt school mums even give it a thought.

Yes I think you're overthinking it - one of my best friends (ex colleague) is nine years younger than me. I have friends younger and older.

Hi,
I have many friends who are not the same age as me. We mostly met through work and clicked. Common ground and similar personalities matter more than age. I never think of their age when spending time with any of my friends and ages range from 30s-60s.

You have children the same age as these friends and you get along well. The friendship is already established. Go ahead and invite them round or organise a day out with the children.

I’m 42 and spent last night with my two close friends - both 51. Older friends have less drama. I hope to be friends for many years to come.

Most of my friends are easily 10 - 15 years younger than me and I'm 76. It's been this way for a very long time.

Surely most people have friends of varying ages?

I can’t say I have ever given someone’s age a second thought. I have had close friends the same age as my parents and my current bestie is about 20 years younger than me!

I had my one and only at 40, and as such all my “mum friends” are 5-10 years younger.

Sometimes I’m a bit conscious of it, but mostly I’m just glad I finally made it (years of miscarriages).

I have a few friends 10-15yrs older than me. I have plenty in common with them.

Yes you're totally over thinking op! I'm pushing 40 and would happily be friends with someone who's 50 if they were a nice and friendly person. I think as you get older she difference matters less in friendships as people's life experience evens out. I say go for it!

As kindly as possible; this is utterly ridiculous. It won’t cross anyone’s mind.

Are you prone to anxiety and do you find friendships hard? If so it might help you to do a bit of work on this. This is so not an issue.

Please don't overthink it. I'm mid 40s and my closest friends range in ages from 38 to 57 - if you have things in common and get along it doesn't matter. My youngest/oldest friends don't always get my cultural / music references but who cares! I do different things with different friends. I regularly walk with mil and appreciate her perspective on things and recently had a great time meeting up on holiday with my parents oldest friends who unexpectedly were staying in the same resort - they are 25 years older than us but drank us under the table! Age is just a number, let your hangups go and if anyone does care they're not worth bothering with

I'm in a lovely group of mum friends, there are 8 of us. I am 39 and aged somewhat in the middle. 3 are younger and the rest older.

I am closest to one who is 36 and the other who is 50 in Feb! I dont care about her age at all. We went to IOW festival last year together!

Don't overthink it, I'm sure you are a lovely valued member of the group, reach out!

I have a group of friends where the age range is from late 20s to late 60s. It would be quite strange to decide whether or not to be friends with someone based on their age.

I think you are over thinking it OP. One of my loveliest friends is 20 years older than me. She is brilliant company and makes me laugh. I don't care about her age at all.

Also people have children at all ages. My DCs friends parents have a wide range of ages. I think it is quite normal and as long as you all get on well it isn't an issue at all.

I went to uni last year (teacher training)
My best friends from the course were 22, 21 and 52. I'm 40.
No one cares about age, enjoy your new friends.

You're at the same "life stage" so as such I wouldn't think twice about it. Just enjoy the friendships without overanalyzing. Make light of it if you feel self conscious.