Should she replace it? Part 2

[Langarg]

Starting the new thread ahead of hopefully having an update soon!

Marking my place as a 38 yo different person who won't take shit from anyone or let it slide. 10 years ago would have been different, but well done op. Don't let her fucking wedding be an excuse to treat you like this. Plus for not one second I believe that it was stolen!

Yes. But the friend is claiming that it was left at the hotel which is why the OP is saying to her friend that if that's true then it means someone at the hotel has stolen it and they should report it to the police. The OP doesn't believe this though. No one believes this.

OP what ever you do, do NOT do option 2!!!

She will either send you a fake or a secondhand one.

FFS of course not, that is NOT what I am saying - I am saying that the CF seemed to think that by saying that it was stolen she would get out of paying for it. She is clearly wrong, but the point I am making is that I don’t think she has stolen it. I think she had broken it and doesn’t want to admit it. She has created an elaborate lie befitting a teenager and simply dug a hole for herslef. Whatever has happened to it, she is legally and morally responsible for replacing it, I am pointing out why I think she has created a complex web of fibs about leaving it in the hotel/it being stolen because she THOUGHT it would get her out of having to replace it.

Dear oh dear - I'm crying - thank you Fizzy Bisto for the best laugh!

Why didn't she contact the hotel to see if they found it then? She told OP she left it at the hotel and when she rang them it hadn't been found, but when OP rang the hotel they knew nothing about it!

Sorry, I wasn’t having a go. I was pointing out that clearly OP’s friend isn’t the brightest lamp in the street because neither scenario absolves her of responsibility to replace it, and that’s pretty obvious to most people. In fact, depending on how it broke (if that’s the true story), it would have looked better on her to admit to it rather than try and get out of paying as we are still in the same situation now, regardless.

That’s what makes me think even more that she’s nicked it, because she didn’t want to pay for a new one as that defeats the object of stealing it.

Well, I am sorry you lost your hairdryer and probably your friend.

But thanks for the gift idea, its DW's birthday next week and I was a bit stuck, will be sure to advise her against lending it out.

Trust me, plenty of us have had experience of how ‘’friends’’ can be conniving, selfish users, especially if the other person is a people pleaser and the friend thinks they can walk all over them.

I used to be a people pleaser and have a couple of similar stories and OP admits she has people pleasing tendencies and that her friend has pushed her luck in the past and got away with it. I fully believe she’s capable of stealing it. You must have good friends to be so trusting of other’s intentions.

If the friend made a genuine mistake by leaving it behind or breaking it accidentally and she truly cared about OP, that would show through her actions and it isn’t.

I just can’t understand her blaze attitude! If her story if to be believed she should be mortified! And cross with the hotel for stealing it, calling them daily etc etc. she’s hoping you give up on it.

I would go with the police option in any message to her - call her bluff.

I can't believe we're only on 2nd Jan and we've already found the biggest CF of 2025.

What's fascinating is how she just keeps digging herself into a deeper and deeper hole. She won't just hold her hands up and say 'I buggered up, I've lost them, here is £500…'

She definitely owes you the money. Stand firm. Well done for sending the text.

Stole it/broke it/lost it? Just replace it. She won't or will try not to. She set herself a time limit and today is it. I expect excuses. Not well, no petrol, terrorist incident meant she couldn't get to the hotel today

Did she have wedding insurance? That might cover the cost of a replacement. If not then her home insurance might be worth considering. If believed stolen you would need a police crime number.

She really is a cheap, CF piece of work isn't she?

I had a friend like that, we are no longer friends and I don't miss her a bit. As well as being cheap and entitled, she was miserable and never had anything to talk about that wasn't bitching about someone and everything had to be her way.

I bet your "friend" is like that too? You'll feel relieved when she is out of your life.

I think you give her til the end of the week to cough up, provide an identicial, brand new replacement, or you consider the small claims court.

The lack of snow and ice this morning is going to make this standpoint tricky. I also don't completely understand why a trip to the hotel is required when she could call them and say which room she was in etc.

I think suggesting it's reported to the police for Crime Number purposes is a very good one. Someone has clearly stolen it - whether it's her or hotel staff.

@Langarg if she gets you a replacement make sure you get the receipt for it too

I am so stoked at the message you sent. It's brilliant...pleasant but taking no prisoners.

This thread has been very absorbing. It's all about standing up for yourself and insisting on respect. This is something that many people struggle with and it has been great following you trying to get your airwrap back or replaced, although I'm sorry it happened in the first place.

I think your friend really hoped you would write it off.

But this is what people are saying OP should say to 'friend' IF she insisting that it was stolen at the hotel - the exact opposite of what most of us think has probably happened.

Presumably, if she knows full well that it left the hotel in the boot of her car, she won't want to pursue this and may just feel forced to come clean before the police are involved.

Moreover, I don't think it's helpful to dismiss theft as 'a squabble', just because it involves two friends; any more than referring to domestic violence as 'a little tiff', just because the perpetrator and victim are married.

You’ve misunderstood, I mean that the hotel has stolen it not that she has stolen it. Obviously the police aren’t going to care if she had stolen it (although to be honest they also probably wouldn’t care if the hotel had stolen it).

I’m catching up with the replies on the thread, I haven’t had a response from my friend yet though m

Would it cover just forgetting to check your room before departure and leaving stuff there, though?

It sounds to me like the equivalent of car insurers refusing to pay out when you've left the key in the ignition with the engine running, unattended.

Insurance is meant to pay out after theft or genuine unforeseeable accidents; not just to bail you out following a complete delegation of basic common sense and care.

I thought they had to investigate if it was items worth over £200. That’s why they don’t turn up to a lot of shop thefts, it’s not worth the man power of sending someone.

Your air wraps are worth £4-500 so would have thought they’d get involved

I'd send her another message saying that if he is not willing to travel due to the weather warnings asking if she can call the hotel and give them permission to speak to you about it, what with her citing GDPR last time you mentioned it. Ask her to give you the details of which room she was staying in and what time she checked out, etc.

Frame it as you are trying to help her resolve the situation quickly so that you can both move forward.

Apologies if this has already been mentioned, but take screenshot of her messages, just in case it gets as far as small claims court, and she denies ever borrowing the airwrap.