Friend still hasn't thanked me for her kids Xmas pressies

[Immo8]

Been friends since we were 11, we are each other's oldest friends. Both 34, she has an 8 & 3 year old with hubby. I don't have kids through choice and also happily married. We live round the corner from each other (3 min drive/10 min walk) and have done since her kids were born.

We stopped doing presents for each other a long time ago, but I've always got her kids something to open. Nothing too extreme, £20 each type of thing and do a Xmas card. This year they were abroad for Xmas so I dropped off the presents a few days before so they could open either before or take with. That was on the 19th Dec and I've not heard a peep since. No card either (not massively bothered by that though). I sent a text the morning of their hols and said 'Have a lovely holiday' etc but it's not even been read, let alone a response or a thank you for the kids gifts.

They have been home now for 5 days and I've still not heard a word. I've seen her holiday pics all over FB. I'm now feeling a bit miffed, but need to be told if I'm being unreasonable in thinking this. After all, I'm aware I don't have kids and her saying thanks to me etc may not be high up on her list of 'to do's'.

Do I say anything or just stop sending gifts from now on?

Did she not thank you at the time when you dropped off the presents?

Haven't even opened all ours yet.

I don't think you're being needy at all, obviously shes busy but it takes two minutes to send a thank you text, very rude to wait a whole week, hope you've received one by now OP, if not then I'm afraid there's not one coming

We never did cards but always rang the giver, no mobiles when mine were young.
No one is that busy they can't manage a 10 second text. Especially if she's been uploading photos.
Stop the gifts op.

I think jumping to cutting the kids off present wise because their mum hasn't said thanks is the harshest part of this post.

More than half of our friends are ill or recovering from the bugs/ viruses going around. Give it a few more days and just do a welfare text " hoping all is well and that the children liked their gifts? And how was your holiday " 😘

Read the thread OP had gone over while they were away and friend said pop them under the tree as she had a spare key. Op replied no worries and the no worries msg went unread and no reply

Are you sure she's a friend? Who doesn't read messages nowadays? Are you sure she hasn't restricted you? YANBU.

I even thanked a friend for a terrible weird gift. It had a lot of thought put in was just very odd.

Just give her more love. People are drowning this time if year xxx

We just received our first thank you letters in the post today! Earliest I would expect.

Why do you send gifts?

Is it because you value your friend and like to give her children something that they will enjoy?

If so - you have done that.

If it's so that you receive thanks - then that's not really a gift, it's a transaction with specific expectations.

Gifts come with ribbons, not strings.

She was too busy being selfish. She should atleast have texted you - in my opinion. Amusing reading these self righteous posts!!! It's not hard to text thankyou, definitely never get gifts again, so ungrateful, and ppl that think they don't need to abide by general manners because they are parents is ridiculous.

Have you received anything yet OP? I’d say if you haven’t received a thank you by the weekend then you won’t be getting one. Has she been in touch at all? because what I find a bit odd about this is that you are close enough friends for you to have a key to her house, but if she hasn’t been in touch then it will have been nearly 3 weeks with no contact after you dropped off the gifts. And if she hasn’t been been in touch and not said thank you then I think you need to decide whether you raise it or reassess how much you input into the relationship if thought and care isn’t reciprocated.

What did you buy them? Could it be something she’s (ungratefully) annoyed about? There’s no excuse to not say thank you within days of receiving a gift. If she still hasn’t been in touch then I’d say she’s not a real friend and go LC. I’ve had several people not thank me for gifts this year so next Christmas I’ll be hugely cutting down.

I wasn't being self righteous, I asked a straightforward question, thinking that it was odd that she hadn't been thanked at the time of handing over the gifts.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. I always thank everyone on Christmas day or on my birthday. A quick text doesn't take much. Me being me would've messaged before now and said hope the kids liked their gifts and hope you had a great holiday

Sorry, I wasn't talking about your post with the 'self righteous comment' it was those ppl trying to make the OP feel bad with all that "I don't give to recieve" or "thankyou is not important" etc

If you give so people are grateful to you that's messed up, please stop giving to fulfil your own need to feel self righteous. If you give because you like to make people happy, excited kids at Christmas, weird first week back with the horrors of snow and schools closing. Be patient.

This is just nonsense.

I give because I love the people I give to, and I want to give them something that they will enjoy or find useful. But also because there's a certain social expectation/ reciprocity (e.g. these people give to my DC, and I appreciate that and want to return the generosity).

I also want to be friends with/ have people in my life who can show basic manners. I expect people to say thank you if I've taken the time and trouble to buy something for their child, and I notice and think it a bit shit of them if they don't bother. Doesn't make me self righteous, just means I have an understanding of basic manners and social expectations.

I'd be more concerned that OP's friend is leaving her on read, not replying to messages etc which indicates there's something more going on. Since this was posted over a week ago though I hope it's been resolved by now.

You've been friends for so long this is ridiculous. My best friend could show up at my front door unannounced, walk in, eat the food out my fridge and leave without saying a word and I wouldn't bat an eyelid. I love her so whatever.
She's likely incredibly busy as she has two young children and they've only just gone back to school. Why don't you ask her if they liked their pressies????

Ah OK, sorry, my mistake and yes I agree with you

Has she been in touch at all OP? I'd be tempted to text her and ask if they had a good Christmas and hope the kids liked their gifts?

And here's another one!

Good for you!!😂

Why are you justifying someone not saying thanks, takes 2 bloody minutes...you'd swear they were in a war torn country the way you're going on🤣this is for original quote, not you btw, too lazy to go back to look for it