Friend still hasn't thanked me for her kids Xmas pressies

[Immo8]

Been friends since we were 11, we are each other's oldest friends. Both 34, she has an 8 & 3 year old with hubby. I don't have kids through choice and also happily married. We live round the corner from each other (3 min drive/10 min walk) and have done since her kids were born.

We stopped doing presents for each other a long time ago, but I've always got her kids something to open. Nothing too extreme, £20 each type of thing and do a Xmas card. This year they were abroad for Xmas so I dropped off the presents a few days before so they could open either before or take with. That was on the 19th Dec and I've not heard a peep since. No card either (not massively bothered by that though). I sent a text the morning of their hols and said 'Have a lovely holiday' etc but it's not even been read, let alone a response or a thank you for the kids gifts.

They have been home now for 5 days and I've still not heard a word. I've seen her holiday pics all over FB. I'm now feeling a bit miffed, but need to be told if I'm being unreasonable in thinking this. After all, I'm aware I don't have kids and her saying thanks to me etc may not be high up on her list of 'to do's'.

Do I say anything or just stop sending gifts from now on?

Personally, OP, if you have sent messages that she hasn't read or perhaps saw the notification but then forgot, I would send one more message saying, "Hope you had a lovely holiday and the kids liked their presents. Hope to catch up for a cuppa soon when life gets back to normal."

Leave it at that and just wait. You may find you get a reply apologizing, saying she has been busy, blah blah. Or, in a while, she will get in touch again apologizing for the delay, blah blah. Either way, all will be fine. If she never replies, then that says it all, and you will not have to speak again unless you choose to. I have a friend like this, and she always replies eventually. I don't lose any sleep over it; we just both lead busy lives.

Did they say thank you at the time? I think the whole technology era is really hard. I hate that it is expected if me to send a text or read a text. That is how lots of people work but if she said thank you when the present was given that should be enough.

Agree with this! If a friend had let themselves into my house to our presents under the tree for my DC, and said so in a text, the least I'd bloody do is send a "fab, thank you so much! Have a great one" text back. It takes all of 30 seconds! It's just sheer rudeness not to. I woudont be expecting a bloody thank you card (I don't send those either), but a text acknowledgment as an absolute minimum.

OP, you are not being remotely "needy" or unreasonable, imo!

All threads about childfree vs parents go this way, OP. Childfree people have nowt going on in their lives so must be grateful for any breath of gratitude sent their way by parents, who all universally live lives of unending torment and toil and have no time for their ungrateful needy friends.

In the real world, some parents do manage to say thank you for one set of Christmas gifts before the following Christmas season, so miracles can apparently happen.

YANBU, btw. But I am also one of the darn childfree people so I would say that.

But that's for your benefit, not the gift giver. The gift giver probably doesn't care and is annoyed at you clogging up their phone with nonsense pictures they don't want.

Forgot to take your meds again?

I’m pretty sure nobody (except you) is ever annoyed by evidence of someone enjoying the gift they’ve taken the trouble to give.
Stop reaching 🤣

Wait, so now you are being mean about people who also need medication.

Wow! You're a special kind of mean aren't you.

I still remember the parent who sent me this type of photo after I'd sent her something for her first Christmas - it made my day.

These replies are crazy!
Of course she should have messaged to say thank you! Very rude behaviour.
Hopefully she gets in touch soon to thank you. Or else I'd not bother next year!

@MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel What have I just read?

My SIL send me a little video of my niece playing the game I bought her a few days after Xmas and it was absolutely lovely!

Yep absolutely. There's no excuse not to just text and say thanks....sorry busy right now will respond fully later. She is being very rude.

Oh well. Is that her way of saying thank you?

Have you even read my post? Not the same person!

@Terrribletwos
Yes OP's SIL probably was saying thank you with her video of her DC playing with OP's gift. The friend however, is totally rude to not even be able to take the seconds it takes to type "thank you so much for the presents for DC"

Kids aren’t exhausting enough to the point you can’t message a thank you.

Aw no I’m with you OP, I’d be hurt by this too!
It may well be a case that the kids haven’t sat and written their thank you letters yet, but I’m sure in the last week she could’ve found time to wish you a merry Christmas and thank you. But instead she’s prioritising her phone time by uploading holiday pics. Very rude!

Oh I see i got mixed up. Bit of an overreaction from op tho.

YANBU. Takes 10 seconds to message 'Thanks for the lovely gifts(s) '

Maybe message to ask did her children like your gifts.

Anyone else just been reminded that the kids need to write thank you cards

No that is not too needy.

They don't, though. Mine have never done this. A quick thank you message on their behalf to the gift giver is more than adequate, and that's all OP is asking for. Not at all a big ask.

If the children don't normally send thank you cards then obviously she should have texted a thank you by now.

Unless she's decided to get them to make them. Most children I know, for gifts where they haven't seen the giver in person, will make and send a thank you card for presents.

Only op will know if her friend is likely to do that

It sounds like they usually thank you. Do you think it might be because they’ve been on holiday it has slipped their minds? It shouldn’t have but if this is a one off, let it go and don’t let resentment build in what sounds like a great friendship.