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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"All my love" Am I reading too much into this?

87 replies

Mickey12 · 31/12/2024 09:02

DH and I have had a rough year and at times our marriage has felt pretty loveless.

It was my birthday over the Christmas period. In my card he wrote

Dear Mickey
Happy birthday
All my love
DH xx

To me this is pretty cold? He rarely tells me he loves me but I'm sure used to write "I love you" in cards.

Does if seem cold to others? Or am I overthinking it?

OP posts:
LizziesTwin · 31/12/2024 09:03

How can that be read as cold? Cold would be ‘from’ or ‘yours’

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 31/12/2024 09:03

Very cold. "All my love" is worse than "Kind regards". I usually put it on colleagues leaving cards.

whatwouldyoudoifisangoutofkey · 31/12/2024 09:04

Overthinking. Sympathy though , another overthinker here.

Nc546888 · 31/12/2024 09:04

I’d be happy with all my love. It’s enough for me!!

Candleabra · 31/12/2024 09:04

Not cold at all. Normal for a message between two people in a relationship.

mynameiscalypso · 31/12/2024 09:05

That's exactly what I wrote in DH's birthday card. I always write 'All my love' to him because it seems more special to me. I wouldn't write it to anyone else.

BCBird · 31/12/2024 09:05

All my love would not be cold in my opinion.

DappledThings · 31/12/2024 09:05

I would only write "all my love" to DH. It's not cold at all, or anything appropriate to put to colleagues in my book.

But clearly people interpret it differently OP so can't tell you. It's the opposite of cold to me.

CallMeFlo · 31/12/2024 09:05

How on earth is 'All my love' in any way cold???

You're massively over thinking and being ridiculous

amiold · 31/12/2024 09:06

Oh my.. I write all my love thinking it's like ALL my love .. and that it was a nice gesture and more meaningful than I love you (which seems to be banded about a bit in that you'd say it day to day but never "you have all my love, you know").
Now I'm panicking 😥 😂

ErrolTheDragon · 31/12/2024 09:07

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 31/12/2024 09:03

Very cold. "All my love" is worse than "Kind regards". I usually put it on colleagues leaving cards.

Seriously?Confused

'All my love' sounds warmer to me than 'I love you'.

But obviously, actions speak louder than words - real love is about what you do, not what you say.

winefortea · 31/12/2024 09:07

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 31/12/2024 09:03

Very cold. "All my love" is worse than "Kind regards". I usually put it on colleagues leaving cards.

Is this sarcastic? I'd find it a bit odd if a colleague wrote that in my leaving card tbh! I'd only wrote that in a card to immediate family. I don't think it's cold at all!

amiold · 31/12/2024 09:10

Also I have a book I write a page in for my son on special occasions, like birthdays, Christmas, milestones, Christmas etc. just a bit about the day and what I enjoyed about the day. (Sort of if anything was to happen to me he'd have a small memory of how much joy he brought me and the nice times we enjoyed together). Anyways, I always sign it off "all my love, mammy xxx"

I think it's like the "most" love. Different interpretations obviously.

DorianMeile · 31/12/2024 09:10

winefortea · 31/12/2024 09:07

Is this sarcastic? I'd find it a bit odd if a colleague wrote that in my leaving card tbh! I'd only wrote that in a card to immediate family. I don't think it's cold at all!

Show quote history

I think it's an attempt at sarcasm.

OP I think 'all my love' is warmer than 'I love you'.

Dinosweetpea · 31/12/2024 09:11

All my love is completely normal, I never write I love you in my DH card.

ueberlin2030 · 31/12/2024 09:11

'All my love' is considered cold? Why?

NeddieSeagoonsSteamPoweredTelephone · 31/12/2024 09:11

DH is the only person who gets ‘all my love’. Makes sense to me that I love him more than anyone else. Whoever is writing it on leaving cards - stop it. It’s weird.

Cannotthinkofausername09876 · 31/12/2024 09:11

For me I would think of it as a reference to the lyrics of ‘all my love’ by Coldplay, in which case it would be very romantic and not cold at all. I suppose it depends on the context. Maybe listen to that song and see how you feel about it!

theduchessofspork · 31/12/2024 09:13

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 31/12/2024 09:03

Very cold. "All my love" is worse than "Kind regards". I usually put it on colleagues leaving cards.

Do you?! Why would you give your colleagues all your love?!

Anyway it’s a bit formal OP - the Dear more than the All my love is what struck me - but I don’t think it’s cold.

MatildaTheCat · 31/12/2024 09:13

I love you and All my love are pretty interchangeable. DH usually puts all my love and I accept that at face value. He’s not one for expressing his love verbally but does it every day in his actions.

Cold sign offs from a spouse:
Yours faithfully
Yours sincerely
Kind regards
Best wishes
I remain your faithful servant ( actually wouldn’t mind this!)

desperatedaysareover · 31/12/2024 09:15

Not cold. Probably it’s coming out of the fact you’ve had a bad year, so it’s not ‘over-thinking’ as such, because your concerns he doesn’t feel the same way might be well-founded. Just not regarding his specific choice of words in this particular card. Cards are a minefield when you’re not getting on too well; I know some years I have struggled to find a card for my DH that doesn’t sound like sarcasm 😂

GinaDreamsofRunningAway · 31/12/2024 09:15

I love my DH and he loves me but we never write ‘I love you’ in cards to each other. We always put ‘all my love’ or I tend to put ‘all my
love, as always’

I think you are overthinking this.

ueberlin2030 · 31/12/2024 09:16

Cannotthinkofausername09876 · 31/12/2024 09:11

For me I would think of it as a reference to the lyrics of ‘all my love’ by Coldplay, in which case it would be very romantic and not cold at all. I suppose it depends on the context. Maybe listen to that song and see how you feel about it!

'All my love' predates Coldplay.

Owly11 · 31/12/2024 09:17

Seems normal to me.

Eldermillennial2024 · 31/12/2024 09:17

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 31/12/2024 09:03

Very cold. "All my love" is worse than "Kind regards". I usually put it on colleagues leaving cards.

Really? 🤔