Should she replace it?

[Langarg]

My friend asked if she could borrow my Dyson airwrap for her wedding as money was tight and she couldn’t afford a hairdresser. It was a small wedding with only her, her DH and two witnesses. I reluctantly agreed (bit of a people pleaser).

The wedding was two weeks ago, we exchanged a few messages back and forth the day after her wedding. A few days later I asked if she could please return my airwrap and she didn’t reply. I messaged again saying I really need it back as I don’t have a hair dryer anymore and solely use this to dry/style my hair and she eventually replied saying she accidentally left it in the hotel however the hotel are claiming it wasn’t left there.

She was very apologetic however didn’t offer to replace it or give me the money for it. I raised this with her and explained that I shouldn’t be left without my airwrap or out of pocket for her mistake and she said that she couldn’t afford to replace or give me the money for it. She then sent me a link to a post on Facebook marketplace of someone selling an older model for £150 and said that if I buy that she can pay me back in 3 monthly instalments.

I don’t want to accept this because firstly why should I be out of pocket £150 and risk not being paid back and I don’t want an older model when I had the newer one which cost me nearly £500 less than a year ago.

I explained this to her and she said she is going to be forced to put a brand new one on her credit card which will put her in to debt. I feel awful but I really don’t know what to do?!

Please give me some advice…

YABU = buy the £150 older model and hope she pays the 3 monthly instalments
YANBU = accept her offer of her buying a replacement on her credit card

I agree. My first thoughts were that she liked it and kept it. I am generally not a suspicious person.

Op, you know the answer to this.

If she’d rented it and lost it then she’d have to fork out full price. It’s no different if you borrowed it from a friend. Why should you be £500 out of pocket at her expense.
I have a rule when it comes to borrowing. Do not borrow anything you cannot afford to replace in full if you break/lose it

Personally I would ring the hotel first before saying you are going to call them.

Hairdryer or no hairdryer you need to establish if she's lying.

Might head to Boots tomorrow to pick one up myself.

For goodness sake. She should immediately buy you an exact replacement.

I borrowed a camping mattress. Self inflating. accidentally knelt on the clip and broke it.

Had the exact replacement bought same day to hand back. Kept the broken one as the broke clip didn't affect its use.

Unfortunately I think she liked it,she kept it.
Having said that, I'm much more cynical now I'm older.
But I do think she simply kept it.

Why are you going to ring the hotel when she's offered to pay for it?

I’d be checking that listing just in case she’s the one who is selling it!

I mean, I wouldn't spend that on a hair dryer but it's your money and you are entitled to having the item replaced.

I'm not believing her, you borrow a £500 air wrap you'd be super careful with it.
If she's got £500 available on her CC I'd suggest she orders it asap.

I’d be selling my wedding gifts if I had to in order to replace it and it’s the first thing I’d have done. I cannot believe anyone would even try to do anything other than replace it!

I think one of her bridesmaids took it. She needs to replace it.

With same model.

There is NO reason you should be paying your replace premium item she lost.

The eBay one, could be bad/fake/just bad.

Bride wanted the best! Why should you settle?

She's buys it on credit card.
I also think she is lying about the leaving it at the hotel.

She wasn't even going to tell you until her hand was forced.
Demand the new one and drop her

She was very apologetic however didn’t offer to replace it or give me the money for it. I raised this with her and explained that I shouldn’t be left without my airwrap or out of pocket for her mistake and she said that she couldn’t afford to replace or give me the money for it.

Did she? Are you the friend?

It does sound like the CF has kept it 🙄

As soon as I read your OP and before reading the comments I also thought 'she stole it'.

And she absolutely should be taking out the credit to replace and buy a new one.

I do think when you demand it back she will either block you, or miraculously yours 'just turned up'.

Forget all the hotel subterfuge. You're not Miss Marple. Take her up on her offer to buy you a replacement on her CC - and then lose her. She is not your friend.

No, I'm a literate adult:

Copy amd pasted from the OP, emphasis in bold by me.

she said she is going to be forced to put a brand new one on her credit card which will put her in to debt. I feel awful but I really don’t know what to do?!
Please give me some advice…
YABU = buy the £150 older model and hope she pays the 3 monthly instalments
YANBU = accept her offer of her buying a replacement on her credit card

Let her put herself in debt for it! It’s her fault. She knew the value of it when she asked to borrow it and was still careless.
You aren’t being unreasonable, she is

I would ring the hotel and unless your airwrap is magically there, I would be telling your ‘friend’ that she does indeed need to buy you a new one. She is very manipulative saying she will have to put in on a credit card - her financial woes are not your problem, she should have taken better care of you expensive item!

She doesn’t sound like much of a friend OP, you need to strengthen your boundaries and raise your standards.

Fair enough. Not that I think the friend would actually do this, but OP should insist.

If it’s true and she did forget it, it must feel awful. But it is what it is.

She should replace like for like. I would not ecen question that I had to replace it, I would have bought the new one and come round sheepishly with the brand new boxed one asking for fogiveness for being careless before my friend even asked for it back.

Just in case you might feel bad by her suggestion about putting the cost on a credit card and her going in to debt as a result, I think she has been very clever with her wording of that.
Of course when you buy something and use a credit card, you are going into debt for that item. The bank/credit card company pays the vendor and you repay the bank/credit card company for the privilege. That is what a credit card does.

So please don't feel bad or awkward by her making that suggestion - I'd actually grab that offer with both hands and say "Brilliant. Please do put it on your credit card and get the delivery address to me please. I'll let you know when I receive it."

I hope she does read the thread. She'll read how awful she is and what she needs to do now

I think she tried it, loved it so has now decided to keep it. Doesn’t sound like a real friend OP.

I’ve only read OPs posts so sorry if this has been mentioned…

OP tell your “friend” that she can replace it with another BRAND NEW one, transfer you the full purchase price or you will go through the small claims court which will cost her more once costs are taken into account.