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Original poster

To be fed up with comments on the size of my baby at DH family party

112 replies

arabicaqueen · 30/12/2024 12:42

My 9 week old was 9lb 15 when he was born and has been tracking the 98th centile since so he is a big baby. I think he’s perfect how he is, but I was at my husband’s family Christmas party yesterday and the constant comments about DS size really started to get to me. Especially because his cousin has a baby boy who is 9 months old and is tiny for his age, so the comparisons were endless with how big DS is compared to his cousin’s baby. If it were one or two comments then I get it but it felt like it was all night. Comments like “what must you be feeding him?!”, “you’ll be passing hand me downs to cousin’s baby, not the other way around!”, “how big was he when he was born again 😱”, “just look at them next to each other”. I was trying to move the conversation on and away from babies and their sizes but they kept going back to it and I ended up just hmming to all the comments and looking forward to going home. DH thinks I was over sensitive and that’s just his family (who are big, loud and opinionated), and baby is big so they’re not wrong. But it was really getting to me how they kept on gong on about it, like there was something wrong with my baby.

OP posts:
DappledThings · 30/12/2024 12:44

The comments are unnecessary but probably well-meaning. People love chunky babies. You can be annoyed if you choose to but it's not worth it.

LetsNCagain · 30/12/2024 12:48

They thought they were being complimentary. As in, you're doing a good job feeding him so well. I feel sorry for the mum of the other baby who must have been offended too. It's worse to have an underweight baby.

My baby ds is also 95th+ percentile and I also get the "what a bruiser" comments. But it's well meant. He is remarkably chonky to be fair

MrsWhites · 30/12/2024 12:48

I think you are being a bit oversensitive, I’m sure none of the comments were from the point of view that there is something wrong with your baby, and you’ve just commented yourself that your nephew is tiny for his age - I think it’s just natural to point out the difference in age and size.

Comedycook · 30/12/2024 12:49

You are being oversensitive. It's just something people say. It's often a compliment to say someone has a big baby...

Essited · 30/12/2024 12:49

You're being oversensitive

PickledElectricity · 30/12/2024 12:51

It's probably quite shocking to see such a large newborn? I thought my baby was tiny but then we met other babies and he dwarfed them! He was also in the 90,a centiles.

I also don't think you're being criticised for having big baby, though I can imagine the conversation grew tired for you very quickly.

We used to say "oh he's been on the protein shakes!" and other silly things.

wombat15 · 30/12/2024 12:51

They thought it was a compliment. Having had small babies I can see why.

LucastaNoir · 30/12/2024 12:52

I get that it’s a bit annoying - but people are just trying to make conversation, there’s only so much you can say about a baby.

climb12sides · 30/12/2024 12:52

It's annoying when anyone comments about anything excessively, and really boring too. Try and let it wash over you OP, they don't mean any harm

lightsandtunnels · 30/12/2024 12:53

I would say kindly that you are being over sensitive but you are allowed to be and it's expected if you've just had a baby 9 weeks ago!

It's hard if in a big room full of people - it only takes each person to say one thing each and it seems like a lot. They were probably well meaning and just cooing over your gorgeous baby.

Peacelily001 · 30/12/2024 12:54

My DS was 11lb OP, he was long and fairly chunky. I don’t remember any negative comments, just what a healthy baby he was!

KitsyWitsy · 30/12/2024 12:54

My middle son was 10lb 2oz. I had all the same comments. I think you’re being over-sensitive but I can understand why it gets on your nerves.

user2848502016 · 30/12/2024 12:54

I've had both - a small baby then a big baby! You get comments either way and both can make you question whether you're doing something wrong.
People rarely mean to be hurtful though, they just like commenting on babies.
If it wasn't their size it would be hair colour or something

DuckDuckG00se · 30/12/2024 12:54

They don't mean any harm but you're not unreasonable to find it too much. Just tell them.

fairycakes1234 · 30/12/2024 12:55

Your baby sounds lovely, I'd love a hold of him, who doesn't love a big baby, sorry I'm not much help, I'd be there probably saying the same thing 😊

SadSandwich · 30/12/2024 12:55

My DD was a big baby and I had this - it was like people were implying I had a massive fanjo or that something was wrong with me or smtg wrong with my her - really hard to describe but it wasn’t pleasant or complimentary. So if I could go back today I would likely say yes I get the best squidgy cuddles from her - and I did they were phenomenal.

TartanMammy · 30/12/2024 12:56

I had two 9lb+ babies, you get used to the comments. People don't mean any hurt by it but it does get annoying! People will small babies also get 'isnt he dinky' etc, which I think is worse because it can be a real worry if your child isn't gaining weight or growing as people think they should.

My eldest is 13 and 6ft 1" and we're still getting 'isn't he tall' 'will he ever stop growing' 'what do you feed him' etc.

OliveLeader · 30/12/2024 12:56

YANBU. I am also the mother of a large child and I am always annoyed by comments like this. I know most people don’t mean harm, but it is wearing to hear endless comments about how your baby is SOOO HUUUUGE, and you do feel self conscious about it. My child is now four but the height of a six year old and it hasn’t stopped, people mention his size all the time. I have to constantly remind people not to comment on his size because he has started mentioning himself how giant he is and I hate the thought that it would make him self conscious.

teatoast8 · 30/12/2024 12:57

LetsNCagain · 30/12/2024 12:48

They thought they were being complimentary. As in, you're doing a good job feeding him so well. I feel sorry for the mum of the other baby who must have been offended too. It's worse to have an underweight baby.

My baby ds is also 95th+ percentile and I also get the "what a bruiser" comments. But it's well meant. He is remarkably chonky to be fair

Just because a baby is smaller doesn't mean they are underweight. My daughter is 1 and between 9th and 25th percentile. You can have small babies and not be underweight

CrotchetyQuaver · 30/12/2024 12:58

I'd take it as a compliment, the mother of the older relatively smaller older baby probably felt quite inadequate being compared to you two. You've clearly done your baby well both in utero and since birth and that's what the comments are implying in a slightly roundabout way.

Mrswhatsit40 · 30/12/2024 12:58

I think you’re taking it the wrong way and it’s meant to be complimentary.

Talking about how big and chunky a baby is is referring to the fact he looks healthy and strong. My ds’s were all huge and had multiple rolls of fat as babies I loved it and received lots of admiration over how chubby they were!

ShortyShorts · 30/12/2024 12:58

Meh!

People have commented on babies size, hair (or lack of it) and how much they apparently look like one of their parents since time began.

Don't let it get to you. There's not much else one can really say about a newborn baby 🤷‍♂️

EmberAsh · 30/12/2024 12:59

There's only so much you can comment on about a baby. You may need to become a bit more resilient to this kind of chatter.

LittleMonks11 · 30/12/2024 13:00

I s

ShodAndShadySenators · 30/12/2024 13:00

The thing is, when people are making small talk/idle chatter, they don't look very deeply. So they notice the most obvious thing and comment on that, and with a small baby there the temptation to compare them must have been overwhelming for the unthinking. They're not trying to hurt your feelings, or the mum of the small baby, they're just not putting that much thought into it. When your baby is relatively new and you're awash with hormones, every little thing is enormous to you. At this stage I was crying over Iggle Piggle's little boat going out to sea or whatever it did.

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