AIBU to keep lying to my friend about botox??

[BlueberryBricks]

This is semi light-hearted (semi!!!!) and please no "stop pumping poison into your face" posts, that's not the point.

I know I am probably BU.

My friend is very anti botox, quite into alternative therapies etc. Quite disapproving about a mutual friend who's lost a lot of weight on ozempic (who knows what that drug is going to do to her long term) etc etc. She's complained for a long time about her 11s (vertical lines in between eyebrows) and in the past I have jointly complained about mine.

Two years ago I started botox for my 11s and have been thrilled with the results. I still have a lot of movement but without frowning all the bloody time they have drastically faded, so I now go about once a year. No one knows or has guessed. DH doesn't know. He probably wouldn't be bothered but equally I think he'd not be keen. I also feel some kind of social disapproval (possibly in my head) hence why I've kept it quiet.

Recently my friend has noticed my lines look a lot better and has been asking me how I've done it. Partly to not feel disloyal in telling her something DH doesn't know, and partly to spare her the disappointment/avoid judgement that it's botox, I spun her a line about various creams that was partly true (but clearly not the main cause of the improvement!) thinking that would satisfy her.

But now she won't let up and every few weeks she's asking for more details of everything. Which exact facialist. Which exact creams. She's asking for brands of gua sha stones. I know people will think she's guessed it's botox and is trying to trick me up - but honestly I know my friend and she's quite naive, and I think increasingly hung up about her lines so is looking to my improvement as a hope that she can achieve the change she wants in a "natural" way. And I'm just digging myself a bigger and bigger hole.

I thought she'd eventually stop asking but it's showing no signs of going away....!

So should I confess to her (and therefore DH) and break her hopes that reversing deep lines without botox is possible??
Or just keep digging and eventually she'll stop??

YABU - put the poor woman out of her misery
YANBU - it's too late, stick with the stories and don't burst her bubble

I’d stop recommending any new products, maybe flippantly make a comment about the products no longer working so she doesn’t spend money unnecessarily, and say you’re having to use [insert middling range/affordable brand foundation] to cover up your lines. But I wouldn’t tell her the truth. I wouldn’t be ashamed either though. I just would be having too much fun with it if I’m completely honest. But I’m already going to hell in a hand basket so it wouldn’t be keeping me awake at night.

Why do you feel you can't tell her but your you dh? Just tell her but tell her you don't talk to others about it so you're trusting her not to gossip

I sympathise. I have had both Botox and fillers and have been thrilled by the results. My grown up children know, I told them, but I haven't actually told anyone else. I would if they asked me directly but no one ever has. That includes my partner, he wouldn't care but it just hasn't ever been discussed. I feel a bit embarrassed tbh, I'm quite private and just wouldn't bring it up as a topic of conversation. But I think you have to tell her, next time she asks, because otherwise she's going to be searching for a holy grail of skincare and getting nowhere which seems a bit mean.

The OP has allowed her friend to believe that skincare has reduced her 11s. Its not stupid to trust our friends not to mislead us. Anyone who wants 'privacy' would be better just to stay off the subject than lie by omission. There's plenty of other topics of conversation if people aren't comfortable about admitting to botox. I've had it for 20 years. I don't care who knows, but if I did I wouldn't be getting into discussions about anti aging.

I have never in my life had a friend tell me to wind my neck in! It is not “normal”. And ending the friendship is high drama

To the poster who asked about whether Frownies work - they do, but you have to use them every night.

I'm a bit lazy/ not particularly vain, so I would bother only if I was going to a big event. I can make my 11s disappear for the day if I use a moisturising Korean sheet face mask, followed by Frownies overnight.

Don't be daft.

I know a lot of MNetters won't stick up for themselves, but telling someone to stop doing something that's bothering you and ending the friendship if they don't, is really NOT drama.

It's normal, basic communication 🤦‍♀️

Just tell her to stop asking. You have already explained to her and her constant questions are getting annoying and you're going to ignore them if she keeps asking you and you'll change the topic of discussion if she asks again. Just tell her to stop asking!

Just tell her. I don’t understand why you feel you have to tell your husband just because you’ve told her. I’m incredibly lucky and have no lines on my forehead at all - thanks for the great genes, Mum - but if I did I’d have Botox in a heartbeat and I’d be completely open about it. Does anyone know if it works on a diagonal line from the inner eye to the middle of the cheek?

Why should she have to? It is none of her business.

Op, you should've have shrugged off this discussion ages ago. Just keep saying it's Nivea and change the subject. Maybe ask her how much is in her bank account see how she responds to nosiness.

Where on earth did you hear that 😂😂😂

I think if she keeps on id tell her maureen, im going to come clean. I had a small amount of baby Botox on my frown lines and tbh I wish id done it sooner as it's the only thing thats actually worked.
I didnt tell you sooner because youve been so vocally anti it, but unfortunately none of the lotions and potions do anything, so you either need to learn to live with your wrinkles or come over to the dark side

Not "wind your neck in". Unnecessarily aggressive.

You need to tell her. Poor girl thinks you've found a miracle concoction and will be spending a small fortune

If you consider her a friend you should tell
her the truth

It’s mean to let her think creams are responsible for your wrinkle-free face when in reality they have little to no effect.

Definitely just tell her but say it’s hush hush, poor woman will be on a wild goose chase for ages 🤣🤣

Tell her! I get Botox and I tell anyone that asks! 9/10 they ask for my lady’s number!

Lulu, is that you?

If your friend wasn’t judging you probably wouldn’t have felt the need to hide it.
If it makes you feel better about yourself it’s really nobody’s business.

If anyone asks me what I’m using I normally just gloss over it by saying “whatever’s on special offer”, I rarely make recommendations as what’s good for me might not be for anyone else.

This is perfect. Tell her, tell her why you haven't before, don't make it a big deal, style it out, then change the subject.