AIBU to keep lying to my friend about botox??

[BlueberryBricks]

This is semi light-hearted (semi!!!!) and please no "stop pumping poison into your face" posts, that's not the point.

I know I am probably BU.

My friend is very anti botox, quite into alternative therapies etc. Quite disapproving about a mutual friend who's lost a lot of weight on ozempic (who knows what that drug is going to do to her long term) etc etc. She's complained for a long time about her 11s (vertical lines in between eyebrows) and in the past I have jointly complained about mine.

Two years ago I started botox for my 11s and have been thrilled with the results. I still have a lot of movement but without frowning all the bloody time they have drastically faded, so I now go about once a year. No one knows or has guessed. DH doesn't know. He probably wouldn't be bothered but equally I think he'd not be keen. I also feel some kind of social disapproval (possibly in my head) hence why I've kept it quiet.

Recently my friend has noticed my lines look a lot better and has been asking me how I've done it. Partly to not feel disloyal in telling her something DH doesn't know, and partly to spare her the disappointment/avoid judgement that it's botox, I spun her a line about various creams that was partly true (but clearly not the main cause of the improvement!) thinking that would satisfy her.

But now she won't let up and every few weeks she's asking for more details of everything. Which exact facialist. Which exact creams. She's asking for brands of gua sha stones. I know people will think she's guessed it's botox and is trying to trick me up - but honestly I know my friend and she's quite naive, and I think increasingly hung up about her lines so is looking to my improvement as a hope that she can achieve the change she wants in a "natural" way. And I'm just digging myself a bigger and bigger hole.

I thought she'd eventually stop asking but it's showing no signs of going away....!

So should I confess to her (and therefore DH) and break her hopes that reversing deep lines without botox is possible??
Or just keep digging and eventually she'll stop??

YABU - put the poor woman out of her misery
YANBU - it's too late, stick with the stories and don't burst her bubble

I’m all for honesty. But she probably knows doesn’t she? Plus you haven’t even told your dh. It’s your secret if it will be more hassle to share I would keep this one to myself.

It’s something personal which you’re not obliged to tell her. If people expect to be trusted with personal, non obligatory information they should probably keep a lid on judgmental evangelising about certain subjects.

I think u should tell her, end of

She does know. That's why she's being so persistent.

Nah don’t tell her, she already knows. Don’t take judgement from anyone OP. Your face is none of her business. Tell her you’re sick talking about it, she’s just trying to smoke you out so she can judge you and she has no right you judge what you do with your own face. Or… say I had Botox. I didn’t tell you because you’re a judgmental cow and it gets right on my tits! That’s the attitude I’m going into 2025 with!

God, no. You are absolutely entitled to your privacy. Just keep swatting her away with comments that it must be your Oil of Olay.

Is she usually a good friend? Why is she harassing you like this .

If you want Botox, have botox. But own your decision. Don't pretend it's some weird snake oil bollocks she can buy to get the same results. That's just cruel.

Some people are happy with extensive cosmetic surgery, botox injections, Ozempic jabs, whatever. Some people are "nature's way is the only way." Most people are somewhere in between. Good friends can disagree on where the line is drawn and still remain mates.

It’s just a bit of Botox! Who cares!

She sounds very prying. Maybe just tell her before she spends a fortune on things that aren't going to work. No need to tell your DH just because you told your friend. Stop stressing or those 11s might come back botox or no botox x

The fact that she is sneery about your friend who takes Ozempic would make me give her a wide berth tbh.

She sounds boring and judgemental.

Tell her. It's not fair to let another woman think there's something wrong with her face by comparison to yours when you're having botox, or to have her wasting her money on snake oil potions. If she judges you, so be it. As long as you're comfortable with your decision her opinion shouldn't matter. Tbh I'd be more worried about confessing the lie, it will be embarrassing at best.

The op is entitled to privacy.

If her pal is stupid enough to keep blowing her money on loads of new skincare that is her problem.

This.

Thank you for the perfect response I needed for a friend 😬

She keeps asking because she wants you to admit you’re having Botox.

people who believe that people can’t tell, they absolutely can.

Just say, I know you won’t approve of what I did to improve my skin, so I’m going to keep it my myself. it’s private.

If she pushes you say ‘you have previously said you disapprove of what I did, so let’s change the subject’

Honestly if she keeps badgering you, say ok I will tell you on the condition that you do not criticise or frown at me. I don’t want to hear a thing about it after today.

She needs to tread her own path.

I had profilho last year, someone said I was glowing I just said oh must be my new serum. Who knew we had to divulge all our private tweaks to friends or else it is unfair .

Why should she admit it! It is none of her nosey pal's business.

Just tell her. Botox is like the modern day make up. Everyone is having it and to have it in reasonable measures is no big deals. She might consider it, but whatever her views are about ageing naturally are hers to have and apply to herself but not others.

I really don't get why there's all this drama over botox these days- people still hiding it from disapproving DHs, friends etc - i tell everyone I have botox and noone has batted an eyelid! Maybe they judge me behind my back but I doubt they give me much thought. I get compliments on my skin all the time and don't want to gatekeep. Just tell your friend and DH, OP- if you don't make it a big thing then they'll follow your lead. Laugh off any negativity.

Irrespective of your friend you should tell your DH. What if you had a medical emergency/ reaction to Botox?

Will it ruin your friendship if she knows the truth? If she won't stop going on about it then u might have to just tell her the truth. I have botox for my crows feet and I don't think anyone could talk me into changing my mind about it.

I think the fact that you’re lying about using Botox says more about your attitude towards it than hers. Use it or don’t use it but why all the pretence and silliness around a fake cream. Honestly, why you lie about stuff like this and dig a hole when you could just owned it beats me.

Thanks a lot for the comments, it's a lot more mixed than I expected! Some really good points about her spending money on things but to be fair there's nothing I have recommended to her that I haven't actually done - it's just clearly that botox has had the biggest impact...

She hasn't guessed. It's really not noticeable in the frozen face look. I think she's still going on as she's a bit fed up with her lines and thinks I've got the magic solution 🙈

I'm honestly still not sure what I'm going to do tbh! I thought I'd get universally flamed for fibs (well, omitting the truth) but there's some good points here about privacy and she needs to find her own solution etc. Hmm....

Sorry to hijack the thread but do you feel frownies help?