AIBU to keep lying to my friend about botox??

[BlueberryBricks]

This is semi light-hearted (semi!!!!) and please no "stop pumping poison into your face" posts, that's not the point.

I know I am probably BU.

My friend is very anti botox, quite into alternative therapies etc. Quite disapproving about a mutual friend who's lost a lot of weight on ozempic (who knows what that drug is going to do to her long term) etc etc. She's complained for a long time about her 11s (vertical lines in between eyebrows) and in the past I have jointly complained about mine.

Two years ago I started botox for my 11s and have been thrilled with the results. I still have a lot of movement but without frowning all the bloody time they have drastically faded, so I now go about once a year. No one knows or has guessed. DH doesn't know. He probably wouldn't be bothered but equally I think he'd not be keen. I also feel some kind of social disapproval (possibly in my head) hence why I've kept it quiet.

Recently my friend has noticed my lines look a lot better and has been asking me how I've done it. Partly to not feel disloyal in telling her something DH doesn't know, and partly to spare her the disappointment/avoid judgement that it's botox, I spun her a line about various creams that was partly true (but clearly not the main cause of the improvement!) thinking that would satisfy her.

But now she won't let up and every few weeks she's asking for more details of everything. Which exact facialist. Which exact creams. She's asking for brands of gua sha stones. I know people will think she's guessed it's botox and is trying to trick me up - but honestly I know my friend and she's quite naive, and I think increasingly hung up about her lines so is looking to my improvement as a hope that she can achieve the change she wants in a "natural" way. And I'm just digging myself a bigger and bigger hole.

I thought she'd eventually stop asking but it's showing no signs of going away....!

So should I confess to her (and therefore DH) and break her hopes that reversing deep lines without botox is possible??
Or just keep digging and eventually she'll stop??

YABU - put the poor woman out of her misery
YANBU - it's too late, stick with the stories and don't burst her bubble

Tell her face yoga!

It was mean if you listed specific creams she's gone out and bought. Just tell her you've been doing facial exercises/ facial yoga on YouTube so she doesn't waste any money.

Does it really? In the lines between eye brows?

How old are you? I've managed to get Botox-similar results by being consciously aware of my forehead muscles and actively avoiding frowning - essentially trying to mimic what Botox would do intentionally. (It was after a friend had botox and I was jealous of the results). My 11s that were threatening to become permanent have disappeared.

Can you suggest this to her and see if it helps? You should also just tell her it's botox because frankly it's none of her business if you want to do it, but she shouldn't be spun a lie and spend money on things that won't work.

Maybe tell her that the main thing you have done is to stop frowning. You noticed you were permanently frowning while on a pc (or similar). That way she won’t feel she can replicate it and you don’t need to tell your DH when you don’t want to.

Ha, that’s similar to the previous post. Great minds.

Of course it's your business what you do to your body but your reasons for not shutting down the conversation so make you appear a bit is a limp lettuce.

Why create a drama over nothing?

You could have headed her off with, 'I've been sleeping well and drinking more and I'm happy!'

Blathering I'm about lotions and potions is foolish.

I still have a gentle line (which I'm working on using the various solutions I've given her!) but it's gradually fading. The Dr said it will probably always be there slightly but I'm really not bothered by it now. Especially in certain lights you can't see it at all.
Honestly really wished I'd done it years before I did! I think when it's lines created by over-use of a certain expression (eg frowning) it's massively effective. Obviously it's a balance between that and the frozen face look but for just one specific area I think it's great.

Nah don't tell her! She doesn't need to know, it's personal. Especially if she'd give you a lecture. Plus then you'd have to tell DH. It's good to keep some things to yourself. Telling her the products you use and that the main difference is frowning less is a close enough version of the truth.

I myself have Botox and not a soul knows, even DH!

I think you should tell her, mainly because I don't think people should have to tiptoe around her because of her beliefs. She needs to learn that friends can have different opinions and still be friends.
Regarding Botox specifically, I wouldn't get it myself but I don't begrudge anyone who does. It is the only effective method of reducing wrinkles. No amount of creams or magic stones are going to reverse the ageing process!

I’d just tell her. She has no right to judge you for what you choose to do to your body. Judging other women for getting Botox is just as anti-feminist as judging women for not getting.

She might decide to get it herself or might not. But, realistically, nothing but Botox will have a noticeable effect on 11 lines.

If she asks why you initially prevaricated with the truth, just say you were worried she’d judge - ie stick to the truth!

If she was genuinely interested, fine. However the op has said she is a disapproving sort who even frowns about a friend on ozempic.

Why should she tell this odd pal her personal business?

Does she have redeeming qualities op? Is she judgemental about other issues like work, childcare etc or is just beauty aesthetics and medical weightloss?

You're not a good friend lying to her and you owe her a lot of money.

Yes you are 100% right, I wish I'd just done this now!!!

Maybe she already suspects and is trying to see how long it takes you to tell her

I have also mentioned making a conscious effort not to frown!! Obviously didn't mention there was some help here....

It's interesting reading everyone's comments... she is a good friend but perhaps doesn't realise she can be a bit judgey and perhaps I didn't realise that either until I started this thread and really thought about why I didn't tell her in the first place.... as always MN is very wise!!

And then you get those that can ‘spot it a mile off’ like a poster upthread. No, what they can spot is badly done Botox. I would defy anyone to ‘spot’ mine as it’s so well done and I still have plenty of movement in my face.

Different ppl have different skin types.

Dont mention any other types of cream - if she complains they’re not working for her say oh dear, they work for me. End of. What more does she need?

Am hijackong the thread but I’m genuinely curious about why so many people lie about having Botox? Would you lie about using make up? Hair dye? What’s the big deal about it? Or do people enjoy others thinking it’s down to exceptional genes?

I am in a similar situation with a friend who is very much against botox, so I don’t tell her I have it done. Some people can get so funny about it. My friend spends a fortune on creams and facials. Loads more than I spend on Botox. I don’t even wear make up anymore. I love it!

Go for a drink and tell her after two wines. Or just confess it as a text.

I bet many people would keep quiet about using ozempic to lose weight too. Some things are just personal and private. Many women don't announce they are on hrt either and why should they.

It isn't like make up and hair dye. As the op has demonstrated some people have very fixed views on aesthetics so why would you want to have a discussion with someone who you knew had a negative view on it?

You have got the magic solution - Botox!

Or, just don't. Unless the friend is the botox police and we now have to confess to these things?