My mother has asked this - this is surely unreasonable

[BarrioQueen]

My mother and stepfather are due to be seeing in New Year with her sister and husband (my Aunt) friends in a pretty holiday cottage in the Lake District - it is fairly remote apparently. The cottage - not stayed in before is much nearer to them than my Aunt who lives a long drive away. They are staying a week.
My Mum isn't great at technology - so paid my Aunt half by cheque and my Aunt booked it. However my Aunt has not yet sent any details of how to find the cottage, address etc. Though my Mother does know the name of the village it is in. Apparently my Mum has sent her 4 messages or phone calls (requesting this info) soon after Christmas but the information has not been forthcoming and my step father understandably is wishing they'd not booked.

My Mum is asking me to contact my Aunt - I've sent her a text asking for the info - on how to get into the cottage and address but despite a long message all about the joys of Christmas no info has been forthcoming. I don't see the holiday cottage giving this info to the person who is not on the booking form as they would surely revert this back to the booking person - as I had thought of telling my Mum to contact them.
My Aunt is a bit of Primadonna - but really she's being unreasonable isn't she? Presumably there must be some reason why she is 'gate keeping' this info? My Mum is worried about driving in the dark, and concerned that she won't be able to access the cottage until after her sister arrives. Her sister has form for arriving to events really late - she missed my wedding service for example.
I guess I have answered this question - but aside from telling my Mum never to arrange a cottage booking with them again, how should she proceed? My Aunt seems to be being deliberately obstructive? My Aunt is not picking up the phone, and being unspecific in messages. Grrr. I'm going to stay out of this and maybe end up with my Mum for new Year!
This is bizarre behaviour isn't it???

Phone on withheld

Yes, indeed.

She seems like she may be acting like Lady Bountiful, as though she has selflessly thrown open her own home to generously welcome one and all - rather than just spending five minutes booking a place online and paying her share of the cost.

Mine was physically and mentally abusive to all five of her children. We weren't boys, so we weren't good enough. You're welcome to spend time with her, I won't be. That's not sad. There was never a loving relationship there to grieve.

It's sad that I don't have a loving mother.
It's not sad that I don't want to spend any time with her. I owe her nothing.

use the photo your mum has seen to do reverse image search on google this should take you to the booking website and you can find out more?

I think the only thing you can do is take the control back OP. Tell your aunt it's off and she needs to reimburse your mother and hope she has a happy new year. She'll probably be in touch then.

If not then make other plans.

Either she hasn't booked anything at all or she wants first pick of rooms so isn't telling anyone so they can't get in first.

Why can't you message and ask exactly why she isn't giving the details? Query if there is even a booking?

Aren't you the lucky one 🙄does my head in when people say stuff like that. Not everyone had a good childhood or likes their mothers.

Agree 100% with the poster above who said she sounds controlling.
I have experience of a family member like this who is extremely controlling of all events and will deliberately not answer messages until the last minute or be very vague about plans, almost as a punishment. It's extremely frustrating.

Some people are that scatterbrained, but if I were booking accommodation for myself and a group of friends/family, I would send the details immediately after I received confirmation of booking, I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't do that.

In my estimation yes, elderly is just related to age relative to average life expectancy. It is not an alternative word for decrepit and many people live active lives well into their 80's and 90's.

I think the issue is the way you responded implied (to me at least) that you interpreted their post in the worst way possible. Admittedly, that post could have been phrased better and at first glance looked like they thought their mother was a burden, but assuming the worst in people will generally not make you popular.

That's really naughty of your Aunt! I really do hope that your mum has the break she deserves x

One things I have thought of which hasn't been mentioned yet, is the aunt mentally sound i.e. is there any chance she could be experiencing the onset of dementia or some mental illness? I can think of no other logical reason for her behaviour.

if I were booking accommodation for myself and a group of friends/family, I would send the details immediately after I received confirmation of booking, I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't do that.

Yes, make the booking, receive confirmation, forward the confirmation email to everyone else before you step away from the computer. All done in one session so you don't have to think about it again, and everyone has the same information.

Update.
My lovely cousin is going to my Aunt's after his shift and said he will stand over his mother so she texts the relevant details. He knows shes going away but not detail.
I do not think the people who've commented on my relationship with my Mum are being fair. We have rare NYE plans - invoolving tickets, and yes it is a break for me, so I don;t think I should have to act as stand in for my Aunt.

Re Aunt - she was late to my wedding. Okay fair enough. I knew she had dietary requirements and asked about them. She is GF - we were having a Christmas day style roast (December wedding) and I asked her what her requirements would be and she said - no its fine I can have all the veg and meat you don;t need to inform the venue about my GF. Whilst the meal was being served I saw a dispute with a waitress - she was insisting on GF gravy. The waitress said there was not any, and she insisted on trying to speak to the chef and even involved my bridesmaids and really created a scene during my wedding meal, after missing the service. Yes, I bear a grudge.

I will update if there;s any other info, but I presume my Mum will get the details later tonight.

Good news, can your lovely cousin also find out why Aunt wouldn’t send the details.

Thanks for updating, am very intrigued to see how it all pans out.

I do not understand this barrage of your mother having an alternative NYE with you when you are booked to go to an event.

I hope your cousin can ensure your DM has the details, and DM has a lovely trip

OP, I don't think you need to justify why you wouldn't spend NYE with your mother. I'm
Pretty sure most of us don't. Enjoy your break away.

Sounds like there is no break. I’d love to know any other reason why your auntie is stringing your mum along. How stressful for her and you.

Ignore those saying you should spend NYE with your mum - Why??? She already has plans, you have plans.... people are ridiculous!

Glad to hear your cousin will help, hope you hear soon.

Your aunt sounds like one of those people who has to have control - especially of information that others may need.