My mother has asked this - this is surely unreasonable

[BarrioQueen]

My mother and stepfather are due to be seeing in New Year with her sister and husband (my Aunt) friends in a pretty holiday cottage in the Lake District - it is fairly remote apparently. The cottage - not stayed in before is much nearer to them than my Aunt who lives a long drive away. They are staying a week.
My Mum isn't great at technology - so paid my Aunt half by cheque and my Aunt booked it. However my Aunt has not yet sent any details of how to find the cottage, address etc. Though my Mother does know the name of the village it is in. Apparently my Mum has sent her 4 messages or phone calls (requesting this info) soon after Christmas but the information has not been forthcoming and my step father understandably is wishing they'd not booked.

My Mum is asking me to contact my Aunt - I've sent her a text asking for the info - on how to get into the cottage and address but despite a long message all about the joys of Christmas no info has been forthcoming. I don't see the holiday cottage giving this info to the person who is not on the booking form as they would surely revert this back to the booking person - as I had thought of telling my Mum to contact them.
My Aunt is a bit of Primadonna - but really she's being unreasonable isn't she? Presumably there must be some reason why she is 'gate keeping' this info? My Mum is worried about driving in the dark, and concerned that she won't be able to access the cottage until after her sister arrives. Her sister has form for arriving to events really late - she missed my wedding service for example.
I guess I have answered this question - but aside from telling my Mum never to arrange a cottage booking with them again, how should she proceed? My Aunt seems to be being deliberately obstructive? My Aunt is not picking up the phone, and being unspecific in messages. Grrr. I'm going to stay out of this and maybe end up with my Mum for new Year!
This is bizarre behaviour isn't it???

My Mum would have given her the best room anyway - this would be selfish, but sounds like my Aunt.

I think aunt wants to arrive first to get the best room for sure

This is often me with my PiL, I'll book and they'll know roughly where and keep asking me for the act sly address and I'll keep forgetting to send it to them because it's not a priority for me and they don't need to know months in advance. I know this is unreasonable on my part but I'm not gatekeeping the info I just don't remember when I'm in a position to find it and send it.

However this is VERY late to be telling them. So agree with above that perhaps she hasn't actually booked.

Or would your mum be the type to look at photos /location and pick fault? Perhaps your aunt is trying to minimise that. Or might have booked somewhere fantastic and wants it to be a last minute surprise.

If she has a picture you can reverse image search for it and find it and call the managers.

I honestly cannot see why she'd hold back this info. Is there a chance she's fucked off into the sunset with your mum's money? I hope not. But I'd be seething and suspecting the worst.

Do you have a picture of the cottage so you could do a Google image search to find the contact details?

I assume you know that your aunt is physically ok? She hasn't died or had an accident or something?

If I was your mum, I'd leave one last message telling your aunt to just keep the money and state clearly and calmly that she won't be going away with her. The lost money would be worth it to me to extricate myself from a woman who is being controlling and weird.

Then, if was your mum, I'd book somewhere pleasant to go away without your aunt, and literally never arrange anything with your aunt again as long as she lives. If your aunt wants to see your mum, she can arrange to drop by at your mum's convenience.

Whatever her reasons for doing this to your mother, it's not ok.

Could it be that she wants to arrive first to claim the better bedroom?

@BarrioQueen has it actually been booked by your aunt? check on the site to see if it is available on the dates your mum is mean to be there. does your aunt have a land line rather than a mobile you could phone. does she live with anyone else that you could phone?? on the site you will get the address and you can search on google maps for it but it would be awful if she was to turn up and it hadnt even been booked in the first place!

Message her and advise that you need the details today or DM will not be travelling up.

It's all well and good getting the cottage info from somewhere else, but what if she has not actually booked it for whatever reason.

Oh that's sad, I can't imagine being so against spending time with my mum.

Surely as the person who’s done all the admin she’d get that anyway?

Right the Cottage is showing on 3 different websites for Holiday cottages I'm going to let my Mum try and sort it. My Mum isn't the sort to pick fault - I am going to tell her to NEVER book with her sister again.
I think for whatever reason - given Mum has paid half she's been out of order - not passing on info. I'm not going to ring round all the companies, i'll sound deranged. I'm going to ring my Mum and tell her to give her sister a deadline. Or keep ringing her until she caves. Thanks all - if my Aunt hasn't booked it she will have to reimburse her and it was apparently quite expensive given the date. thank you all -

I don’t think she’s forgotten to book it.

she sounds like a controlling arse. I think she’s got pissed off because your mum has maybe sent a couple of messages and made her feel a bit shit.

she’s now retaliating and doing this to wind up your mum.

i know that sounds absurd for a grown woman, but you’ve mentioned she’s wealthy so don’t think she’s forgotten to book. Also you mention she has form for crap behaviour. I’d reckon she’s a controlling, nasty piece of work

If I were you I would send a VERY clear and pissed off text.

I can't imagine not realising that people have very different relationships, lives and backgrounds and all kinds of perfectly good reasons for behaving differently to me.

May I ask why you think they don't need the details months in advance? You haven't booked them a surprise and the confirmation email has all the details, which you can easily screenshot and send straightaway. Why not make it part of your booking process, so you're not asked/repeatedly forgetting?

Yes, there’s no booking.

Contact the uncle

To the person who said - I'm against spending time with my Mum. I think I'm due a break. And we have a NY party to go to , and no I don't want to change my plans at such short notice. And my Mum does not want to come here - she was looking forward to her break (not so much now though).

Forgot to add- she probably just needs to sit back and want for the details.

I know it sounds counterintuitive but I bet the sister will tell her as soon as your mum just ignores it.

in your aunt’s head, they don’t have to leave until tomorrow, so I suspect she’ll withhold the info until then.

your mum just has to drive there at the time she wants.

then never book to go anywhere with her ever again.

I don’t think it’s been booked or they don’t want your mum to stay.

Yep, all the adults involved have a right to all the same details the instant the holiday is booked and I'd just forward them them all the confirmation email. So easy.

⬆️ Message your Aunt via whatever means you have & tell her this & get your mum to cancel the cheque ASAP!

Shoddy behaviour.

Text or voicemail: "Auntie Ethel, Mum is getting really anxious about your stay in Little Whinging because she wants to arrive before dark but doesn’t know how to find the house or how to get in if you aren’t there yet. PLEASE let her have all the details NOW to stop her worrying, as she is thinking about cancelling the whole trip. Love, Barrio."