To feel that many men are totally unprepared and unsuited to domesticity?

[JFDIYOLO]

So many instances shared on Mumsnet of grown men behaving like adolescents.

Spending hours gaming, incapable of regulating their emotions, violent outbursts, dick-led decisions, expecting Mummy 2.0 from their wives, utterly lacking in empathy and care during pregnancy, labour, newborn baby & toddler years, father fails ...

But why is this?

Was it always so, or do we just hear way more now from women who are no longer prepared to put up with it and ready to discuss and share advice?

Should there be some kind of exam, a screening process before they can proceed to the next level of In A Relationship?

Human biology isn't fit for modern day purposes, lol.

Not avoiding as well as I'd like, but better than my parents did, and my DH also makes the kids do quite a lot of stuff so I don't have to!

Is it fair to say many young women have no concept of finances, and that's much more impactful than men's ability to keep a house? But I think it happens for the same reason: parents: someone who is raising feckless, incapable adults, mums and dads. My son will be cook cleaning alongside us; my daughters will have a solid foundation in real-world finance. Ect. But to be honest, maybe at my age, I don't know men like what she describes. I know very few people who don't both work and who co-parent in full, maybe generationally. Still, it is terrifying to me when women start talking about womens inherent biological roles. Aren't we, as men, trying to move past biological urges and have healthy relationships with both sexes that gave us life? The father is not less important than the mother because he hasn't given birth. A man is the only member of our species that can nurture our young.

I'm sorry typos above. women aren't the only ones who need a nurturing skill set. We need men to be raised to take part in child care and both sexes to have a realistic understanding of what it takes to earn the money you need to live the life you want.

You are wrong. Most men are totally prepared and suited to domesticity ~ as long as it's provided by a woman and they can swan in when they please, eat, sleep, fart, shit and piss and generally make the place untidy, and then go back to their real lives outside the house.

Something else I've noticed -

The men who claim 'I'm no good at cleaning, well you're so much better at it than I am, oh look I've messed something up so you'd better take charge of it in future.'

Hand them a pressure washer and goggles though, and oh look - they ARE capable of cleaning.

'I'm no good at cooking, well you're etc etc etc'

Point them at a barbecue though, and oh look ...

'I'm no good at childcare, that's women's work and when we both get in from work that's your extra job.'

Yet somehow when it comes to it, oh look he's suddenly adamantly insisting he's getting and will be able to deliver 50/50...

To the 'not my Nigel, you midandrist' responses - every single one of these scenarios will be striking a YES note right here. (And I CAN now programme the TV)!

It’s why I am too scared to live with one.

I have been lucky in the past but I think What I experienced was a rarity.

And it seems even if they are domesticated before you get together they “forget” those skills once you get together.

He has his house, I shall have mine and everybody is happy!

I have never heard of young women having no concept of finances.

It doesn't make sense. No concept? They don't know what those shiny round things are? How can they look all pretty for their man if they don't know how to pay for shoes and nails?

I think it has always been so due to patriarchy. Women are more aware of the significant domestic inequalities in their lives due to feminism and their being more likely to be in paid work which makes the the him-work 40 hours per week her-house and kids 24/7 dynamic even more blatantly inequitable. 'A woman's work is never done' was a phrase I heard when growing up. These days the narrative on social media seems to be suggesting that it's better not to bother if the partner is going to make your life harder and that's certainly a narrative I'll be instilling in my daughters. Apparently the average husband creates 7 hours of domestic work per week. I don't think women with these kinds of partners are martyrs but I do wonder if they've been socialised to think that change isn't possible due to in built gender roles.

i worked from home yesterday so I give myself a bit of a lay in, my husband went into the office but I woke up around 5am to him with a face mask on, folding washing and tidying up lol he’s actually more domesticated than I am tbh, he’s tidy, organised, deals with all our bills, does the bins, all the cat litter at the moment as I’m pregnant, does the washing, food shop.. basically everything (I do it all to but we share it totally equally and I don’t have to ask him to do anything, if anything it’s me that sometimes forgets!)

I think in many cases they were raised this way, my brother was, my wife’s brother was and my best friend’s husband was. Our mums made us cook, clean and do childcare from an early age whereas our brothers were allowed to do nothing and were catered to by us all. I remember having one blazing row with my mum as a teenager about it and she finally admitted she expects me to help her and not my brother “because you’re a girl”. Mums can often be very critical of daughters while praising sons for the bare minimum, while also claiming boys are so much easier to raise, they’re often easier cause much less is expected of them.

My brother does one load of laundry and my mum says he’s the perfect husband and my sister in law is “so lucky”, despite her doing 90% of the domestic labour and working longer hours than him. My best friend’s husband is absolutely useless, but his mum won’t hear a negative thing said about him as apparently “that’s what men are like and she should stop nagging and just get on with it”.

I think behind every lazy useless man is a family who raised him that way.

You cant be serious its the number 1 topic on mumsnet and one of the reason women can be left in utter straits when divorced.

You seem dim im really shocked that you didnt know how lack of finacial understanding is the number 1 devestaing impact women find 5hemselves in divorce or sepration..

I'm so dim that I'm going to need evidence. What evidence is there that divorced women have no concept of finances?

Show me the data for ops assertion first........

People like you are the problem, finacial illtracy amongst women is so bad the govetnment is developing programs to help fix this.

People need to raise their kids to do and be better and women need to know what finacial planning is.

Are you a student?

Well dim was mean i apologies for that. Im saying the reason the ' men' enmasse are doing or not doing certain things, these men were raised by women, not teaching y9ur son housekeeping is where this begins.

You jest surely? finacial illtracy?

What evidence do you have that women have no concept of finances?

Urm babe illtracy means inabilty to read not inability to spell your weird

Op is saying in general men are not equipped for keeping house.

Im saying yes and women in general lack finacial litracy whuchbis more important who cares what mrn dont do i care only about whst women need to know.

Babe, I'm awaiting your evidence. You're making the claim that women have no concept of finances. Babe, some women work in finance, run large companies, manage accounts and babe, many women work for years and know what finances are.

I think you're not able to understand what is being discussed here or statistics. Log off!

Well, in many cases it seems to be because the man is happy to work his arse off and provide an enviable quality of life while his wife works 2-3 days a week in a low stress job. The reverse is rarely seen.

That's the other side of the coin and most couples are somewhere in the middle.

Well no because even when a woman is working ft she still picks up most household chores, so not a point. I think thats crazy but socially accepted or was.

That's no way to act babe. No need for aggression, you'll do yourself a mischief.

I'm simply asking you to back up what you're saying.