Was my Christmas Day "abstemious"?

[romanfriendsandcountrywomen]

I'm a little bit nonplussed because my brother's new girlfriend apparently found Christmas Day at our house "nice but more abstemious than she's used to". However, I'm also now wondering if I was perhaps a bit boring....

Present on Xmas day : DH, me, DD (19), DS (15), my parents (late 70s), DB (43), DB newish girlfriend (30 something) my niece (DB's daughter, 16.)

People arrived at 11am. It's morning so I offered teas and proper coffees etc while we opened presents. At 12.00 I opened 2 bottles of M&S sloe gin fizz (admittedly only 4% alcohol but lovely and nicer than Buck's Fizz imo) and everyone had a glass while finishing opening the presents.

About 1.00 I we had champagne and nibbles- probably about 1.5 bottles of fizz and lots of nibbly things )

Full Xmas dinner at 3.00. (Turkey, pigs in blankets, 2 stuffings, roast potato, roast carrots and parsnips, sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower cheese, Yorkshires, Christmas pudding and chocolate log.) Opened 2 bottles of red wine.

After dinner we played games and finished off the red wine and champagne. I made the traditional Christmas snowball for the teenagers. Lots of adults had one as well despite laughing at them! (Advocat, lemonade, line juice, cocktail cherry perched artistically on top!)

About 9.00 we watched a film and had cheese. I offered to open more wine and we also offered port or baileys but people were full so most just had a cup of tea.

People went to bed or got an uber about midnight.

I thought it had been a lovely day so the abstemious comment had thrown me a bit. Girlfriend is from a bigger family with lots of siblings who all bring partners and apparently it's a more "adult" affair. She was surprised there were no spirits or cocktails as apparently she doesn't really drink wine and drinks vodka cranberry/ vodka coke. We don't drink spirits so it never occurred to me and I did wonder why she couldn't have brought her own but I haven't said anything.

So there were 7 adults and 2 teens and we had 4 bottles of wine/ fizz, a couple of bottles of low alcohol fizz and snowballs, port and baileys offered. Over 12 hours apparently this isn't a lot.

Be honest. Was my Xmas day a bit boring? I probably should have asked what she liked to drink...

I don’t think it’s boring but it’s not to my tastes either. I’m not a big drinker so lack of spirits wouldn’t bother me but i do like a glass of fizz at christmas & would have preferred champagne (or cava or prosecco) to be offered instead of the sloe gin or snowballs. I wouldn’t drink either of them & i don’t like port or baileys either. Or red wine lol but i would have brought my own - even a non alcoholic one if my hosts preffered. She maybe didn’t like that it was “timed” and not whenever she wanted either?

I think more choice of drinks would be better (I hate gin).

Sounds perfect to me, and she’s a cheeky madam to voice
Hopefully she will stay home and swig her larger and vodka or whatever at new year

If she doesn't drink wine iit would have been abstaintatious for her.
What you describe is a nice quiet family Christmas it sounds like they have a Christmas party

Sounds perfect to me. Have never understood the obsession with getting wasted and uncomfortably full on Christmas. DH and I drank a half bottle of champagne between us and a small port with cheese.

If you visit and you want particular alcohol// any alcohol at all really you should take it and give to the host to share with anyone else

Your Christmas Day sounds lovely.
I spent mine with DS, who cooked dinner (so we had it at 6 pm!) and it was lovely, roast pork, roast potatoes, sprouts (DS's was 'ornamental'), roast parsnips and carrots, cauliflower cheese (made with low fat creme fraiche, which I had never tried before but was super), gravy, cranberry sauce etc. Too full for Christmas pud and cream (had enormous breakfast). Had a good red wine with dinner, plus wine earlier and port, when opening presents. Went for a walk in the afternoon as I have dog. DS went to visit a friend who was on his own later in evening taking beer with him, and I had some more wine. DS came home and we had nibbles and a fair amount of port, watched the Dr Who special (which we liked but predictable) and a Hercule Poirot. More port.
4 bottles of wine among 7 is fine, esp since there were also other drinks. I think DB's GF comes from a boozy family who do not play games. I suspect you'd find her family Christmas a little boring. I suspect I might as well - usually we have a huge family gathering (and there was one, I did not go because my DH died this year and I did not feel up to it) with drinks, lots of food (party of about 20) and games.

Did you have a MN chicken as well?

It is boring, and I say that as someone who rarely drinks. It's Christmas!!

She sounds a bit wanky.

What's an MN chicken?

They didn't drink a lot at this house.

I'd probably be taken aback somewhat by a film being put on rather than music and merriment.

I wouldn't say anything though, I'd just make my excuses to go home at that point.

Drinks not adlib is possibly the problem. I don't like advocaat so wouldn't want snowballs. I do like fizz and we would usually have Prosecco. When we have a large family party (posted up thread as to reason I did not this year) we all bring alcohol and all drink it - or have something non-alcoholic if driving e.g. 0% gin, or orange and tonic. Drinks are ad lib.

Admittedly, I wouldn't offer tea and coffee on arrival to a Christmas Day event, but alcohol - but we don't generally gather till 1 pm.

No, no it wasn’t, makes mine look positively mean, and I was slightly tipsy from 11 onwards!

No idea - but whatever it was, we didn’t have one 😂

That's weird. We do drink alcohol but never got round to opening any bottles on Christmas day. Everyone just went for soft drinks. We don't really measure fun by how much alcohol is consumed.

It's interesting to compare this thread where many people are criticising the girlfriend for telling her boyfriend in confidence how she found Christmas with the thread of a woman saying she dislikes her partner asking her repeatedly if she had a " lovely Christmas ". On that thread people said that couples honestly discussing how they'd found social situations was important. This thread shows how such a discussion can come back to bite you on the bum. The girlfriend wasn't even rude she just said there was less alcohol than she was used to on Xmas day and if I were her I'd have found the same. It depends on what you are used to. She wasn't as rude as her boyfriend who has told his family he'd never have Christmas with her family again

Mumsnet is so weird. If you say on any other thread that you have more than a thimbleful of sherry on your birthday you’re a desperate lush.

Here, because you weren’t knocking back vodka with breakfast you are a miserly nun who ruined Christmas.

I think you offered plenty, and if she wanted spirits she should have asked.

The girlfriend didn't say she didn't have fun

Not sure she would have survived ours! We went to inlaws for Xmas lunch and pm. Not sure anyone else was drinking, I took prosecco. No games, just music in the background. It was all pretty chilled though, we have young kids so just like to relax and they do their thing no pressure.

I have to admit I’m genuinely really surprised at the amount of posters saying she is a rude woman. If she was asked a question by her partner (presumably not in OPs home) then surely she has the right to answer honestly? Not everyone enjoys the same thing. I think it’s the brother who is rude (and a bit of a shit stirrer) here!

Really rude to comment after being hosted. It annoys me greatly if people turn up empty handed too and I’m a very generous host. But you want to drink vodka then you make sure you bring it with you

I think she is rude. And getting ratted on Christmas Day is just horrible. You feel like hell and don't have a good day. She needs to stop being so bloody ungrateful. I am definitely having the sloe gin next year.

But it’s your brother who has been rude in passing on this criticism. Ask him why he didn’t supply the drinks