To think this is off? Parents…

[BunnyLily]

So I’m 50years old and an only child. Separated with two young children. It’s always been an awkward relationship with my parents as I really don’t think they are child people and have never told me they love me or hugged where as I always do to my two.
they think I’m still an adolescent I think. I smoke roll ups and they constantly telling me to give up or to sweep my nub ends up which I do every so often… I said if you didn’t keep on I will give up for myself!
They are constantly obsessed with what I eat and if they see me eating something unhealthy I get a nose turned up. They have paid for me to go on diet jabs which I’ve lost a lot of weight and they keep saying ‘oh you look loads better’ where as I was doing it for me to be healthy. They recently commented that I had bags under my eyes so for Xmas they bought me some special cream to use… now I keep getting asked if I’ve used it and being told how good it is and it really works!
The kids were at their Dads over Xmas and they were coming back Boxing Day to me. I had missed them and wanted them back.. Mom n Dad said ah if they’ve enjoyed it they can stay another night and we can cancel their meals for Boxing Day! I was like ‘I really want to see my kids!’
They look after them when I’m at work and I do appreciate it but they would rather spend time looking after and helping other people than my children.
they are great with helping me with finances and always have been. I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable with all of this or if I’ve got a point?

But yet they're good enough to look after your kids while you work two jobs?

You're not a child any more, you're 50 years old for goodness sake. You've had plenty of time to change the habits from your relatively short childhood.

Clearly it's easier to blame them for how you are now, just like you appear to be blaming them for the fags.

Take responsibility for your own health, your own weight and your own addiction.

ETA: And for your own kids if you think your parents are so bad.

And I don’t get any help on a daily basis with anything

What-yes, you do! You get childcare whilst you work and they help you financially! They also clear up your manky fag butts! Are you seriously moaning that they should have your kids more?!

they think I’m still an adolescent I think.

That’s because you act like one!

For goodness sake, OP. I want to shake you!

In your posts you come across petulant and childish.
They help you financially, but you choose to use money to buy tobacco. If I were them I would hate that too.
They help you with childcare, but you seem upset that they won’t babysit at night? And you’re upset they want to help other people too?

It sounds like they failed somewhere bringing you up. Healthy kids get enough love and support that they stop being kids and launch out as adults. It sounds like your parents managed to get you through childhood, but then sabotaged you during your teenage years to keep you dependent on them.

Hello. It sounds like things have been hard for you. I’m sure the separation was difficult and being the main parent for your children and also working is tough. I imagine this is not how you thought your life would turn out, being financially reliant on your parents etc. I understand how it’s disappointing your parents are not more affectionate but it seems to me like they are trying to show their love for you in other ways. They support you financially, look after your kids, and care about what you eat and seem to be trying to do things to help you feel good about yourself. I’m almost 50 and my mum still gives me long lectures on how to eat healthily, gives me food to take home and buys me jumpers so that I keep warm. I don’t need any of this stuff but it’s her way of showing she cares. I think the real issue here is that you need to find a way to forge your own path. Your parents might be getting on your nerves but I think you are resenting the fact you need them at this point and are also taking out on them the fact you are frustrated with how life is at the moment. You now need to take steps to help move your life forward so you feel more in control and have choices. Good luck.

When I first read the OP I assumed it was a troll post.

Now I've changed my mind but I really wish it was.

What are the complaints? That they tell you to lose weight, be healthy etc? You can't really take money and lots of help from them and expect them to never have an opinion

I can't get over the fact that you are 50! How old are your children?

Not sure they are appropriate people to have around your dc given how your childhood was....

They don’t live with me. I pay for all the bills and childcare ect.

How old are your kids? Do you live with your parents or just near? It sounds like you need more distance and less dependency on them.

You can say no. Do you want weight loss injections? No thank you. You should dye your hair green. No, I'm definitely going orange. Leave the kids at their Dad's. No I want to see them.

You rely on them for childcare and money. You need to stop some of this. If you're working two jobs plus claiming what UC you're entitled to plus CM and you can't afford to live you need to take a look at your lifestyle x

And the fact is I don’t get childcare. I’m self sufficient in many ways.

And their Dad doesn’t help at all.

Also where are you leaving all these cigarette butts that you occasionally sweep up where you've got young kids?

The fact that your ex is controlling/doesn’t help is not the fault of your parents.

You have a choice here: take the help but accept it comes with their comments about your lifestyle. Or stand on your own two feet.

My mum helps with my childcare, she is forever making judgemental remarks about my parenting decisions, it’s just something I have to put up with.

If you're living in your parents house, they are supporting you financially, and they provide regular childcare they are going to treat you as their child/dependent in some way, especially as you are 50.

I'd focus on becoming independent if I were you.

They are clearly people who likes to help people and you are happy to receive the help but not for them to get very involved in your life. I agree with all of their points and I would have told my child to pick up her cigarette butts and I would have bought her expensive skincare products for Christmas if I knew she'd benefit from them. That isn't necessarily a dig at you. They just want you to feel and look healthy. It sounds like you are struggeling in life with health and money and they are showing love by trying to fix that.

They look after them when I’m at work and I do appreciate it but they would rather spend time looking after and helping other people than my children.

Eh?

So what does that ^^ mean? 😳

How much do they give you?

All I have time to add is, do not take the weight loss jabs... someone up here died from them, a nurse.

…if you don’t live with them, how do they know all this stuff? Stop sharing so much with them.

Also, I use the jabs, and you can’t get them if you are not overweight / obese .. so if you have got them, and your weight is fine, someone has been telling fibs.

By helping with finance do you mean they help you organise your finances ie advice on investments or do you mean give you hand outs? If the latter you’re very far from self-sufficient…

No she didn't. She died from other health complications while taking them.

I said if you didn’t keep on I will give up for myself!

That sounds like a 12 year old talking. There's nothing stopping you giving up on your own according. If you don't want to be treated like a child, then stop acting and talking like a child!

And none of your updates are helping your case, you're just coming across as more ungrateful for what they do. "They don't help with childcare", but they look after your kids while you work!

Can you explain what you meant by 'you don't get childcare' whilst also stating you work two jobs and they look after your kids?