I think my boyfriends best friend has been stalking me on a fake account

[BeTicklishOtter]

I female (25) have been with my boyfriend (25) for 6 years. His best friend (26) who he loves like a brother has been acting so strange towards me.

so for a little context over the years myself my boyfriend and his friend we have all gone out together on days out, drinking together and just over all had a good friendship & I am very very good friends as well with his ex girlfriend.

since his breakup with his girlfriend my boyfriends best friend has just been out drinking all day every day, getting him self into trouble with the police and hanging around with very bad people. My boyfriend out of his own choice has chosen to distance him self from his best friend as he does not want to see him ruin his life. My boyfriend loves him a lot and has tried to help him but there is only so much you can try to help someone if they don’t accept your help what else really can you do. He hasn’t exactly fell out with him but he’s just not seeing him every day like he used.

my boyfriend is absoutley terrible with phones, he must go through 10x phones a year I’m not even over exaggerating (he works in construction and is very very clumsy)

because of Christmas we have been a bit tight on money so he hasn’t actually yet managed to take his phone into repair. So for the time being he just uses my laptop if he needs to go on social media & family or his friends for example will ring my phone or message me if they need to get hold of him,

His best friend keeps ringing and messaging me to speak to my boyfriend, I told him he doesn’t have a phone & I’ll ask him to call him when he gets back from work. He then starts to spit his dummy out telling me to tell my boyfriend he’s sly and he owes him no loyalty now as he wouldn’t ignore his friends if they fell off and went onto the rails. Tried to explain to him it isn’t like that and maybe he should come round to try and speak to my boyfriend in person instead of over the phone.

I told him that my boyfriend would be back for 7 pm as he had gone to go and see his mums for a few hours as I was working ( I work from home ) Instead he decided to turn up to my house at 3 pm - he first asked if I could put his phone on charge for him whilst he took his dog for a walk, I ran to my back gate to grab his phone of him & to put it on charge. He then asked if he could use my toliet I told him yeah just run up. He kept trying to keep conversation going with me once he came back down saying he might just wait for my boyfriend to get home. I said to him I don’t really think that’s the best idea as he’s still going to be a good few hours.

( I was drinking wine whilst wrapping presents as this was on Christmas Eve, his friend had seen my wine and started asking me what I was up to I said I was just having a few wines and wrapping he then said to me so you not going to grab me one then, I felt a bit awkward at this point I was like yeeee erm you can have one of my boyfriends beers. Whilst his friend was here I was trying to get into contact with my boyfriend telling him that his friend was here, for him to hurry up - but I got no answer back. Eventually my boyfriend rang & his friend went out to speak to him - my boyfriend told him to go home & that he will go round to his friends house later on to go and see him. His friend told me about this and he started to slag my boyfriend of saying he doesn’t know why he’s being like that.

even after my boyfriend told him to leave he kept trying to make excuses to not leave I don’t even know how to explain it but I felt so so so awkward. He kept asking to go to the toliete he must of went to the toilet at least 4 times. He kept telling me he couldn’t wee & he didn’t want my boyfriend walking in thinking anything was happening and kept pointing to his pants. I had no idea what the hell he was going on about untill he said that he had a hard on & I have made him hard the whole time he was there. He then tried to kiss me which I swerved and at that point I told him it’s probably best that he leaves.

he now keeps messaging me telling me he wants to “fuck Me” & “destroy me” that he always has - he kept deleting message so I am completely ignoring what he is putting I am not even replying.

I feel so bad for my boyfriend and I don’t even know how to tell him about what has happened because I know that this will hurt him ALOT his friend ended up coming round the day after on Christmas Day to speak to my boyfriend within an hour my boyfriend told him to go. He keeps messaging me saying he’s coming round to see me but to see my boyfriend as well.

my boyfriend has a lot of love for him and what has happened is going to really really hurt him. He doesn’t really have many friends as it is - he’s told me plenty of times he would die for his friend. I do want to tell my boyfriend I just have absoutley no idea where the hell to start.

as for the stalking me on a fake profile - for nearly 3 years a fake account has been messaging me sexually harassing me - it saves my pictures and sends me then, tells me that I am making them throb and a lot of other things but reading what his friend has sent me the messages ( the way it’s worded and the things it has sent me, sound exactly like what his friend has been messaging me) - the fake account has already told me I know who they are but they can’t tell me who - when I block it a new one is made - the whole situation is also making me feel very very uncomfortable

Yes, very sorry to hear about your mum. I was very much hoping she'd support you to put yourself and your dc first in this. You need to prepare yourself to find the strength to take the action you need in the face of your bf minimising it. You need to take all the evidence to the police - this is beyond protecting him in the hope he sorts himself out, he has completely crossed all boundaries already. Your bf needs to wake up. Going to look after your mum might be a good call to get away for a few days, and make him think too, but you need support for yourself that isn't minimising what's going on. Can you talk to your friend, his ex?

Your bf needs to get a fucking grip and get his own phone. Then you will have zero reason to be in touch with his friend. Tell him you are not going to be his in between any more.

You need to come off TikTok (it’s for children anyway).

Get in touch with the police about the guy stalking you and coming to your house and him saying he wanted to destroy you. Clearly that is not normal

I’d be having a good hard think about whether that boyfriend is worth the hassle. If he can’t even organise his own phone and basically needs his arse wiped I suspect the answer is no. Do you think he might be in on the whole thing? It’s hard to believe anyone could be so feckless in roping their gf in to such a dangerous situation. Think hard.

To be honest… you are not acting right

this man is in trouble with the police and hangs around bad people, why the f would you let him into your home the first time and socialise with him before that? He’s dangerous

i dont know how else to phrase this but if he has the chance he will assault you - he isn’t taking no for an answer from you. He thinks you’re interested in him.

I wouldn’t hesitate in contacting police because my safety is more important than their friendship

^^ THIS

Please make sure that you report this erratic and potentially very dangerous behaviour to the police. When you block a stalker from being able to communicate with you, things can escalate quickly to murder. You need to be very careful and your BF sounds fucking useless.

Such a helpful addition to the thread.

She could be running around her home in her birthday suit if she wished. This attitude of women leading men on is horse shit....
So OP is leading him on.....bollocks to that.

you need to tell him not to contact you and that you will talk to the police if he continues. That includes the fake accounts. Block him on everything. Speak to the police

you need to tell your boyfriend about his friends antics don’t stay quiet because he could twist the narrative and get to your boyfriend first. if your bf is a decent enough guy he will support you and sack the friend, he sounds like a weirdo and you shouldn’t be in an enclosed space on your own with someone like that and if you tell your bf you know will be safe and not have him coming round anymore and if he does after he’s told he isn’t welcome, it’s time to take this to the police and show them all of the messages from him and the fake account.

Don’t answer the door to him, he won’t take no for an answer and is behaving sexually towards you. You are incredibly vulnerable being alone with him. Don’t open the door to speak to him. Your DB needs to get a phone too.

Police, now.

He is dangerous, fixated on you and you need to act regardless of what your partner says

Let's see how many times people have advised you to call the police - a lot.
Let's see how many times you avoid responding to that advice and carry on relating your story - a lot.
Contact the police.
If you've got anything left to screenshot - do it and keep. Why would you delete all that evidence of his threatening behaviour?

Agree with everyone saying contact the police - this man is a murderer waiting to happen.

If not for you, do it for any future potential victims - e.g. someone might do a Claire's law on him in the future and this would be helpful..

Be careful lass , your bf's mate sounds unhinged and possibly on something unprescribed.

"now that he is back from seeing his friends he’s said he can see what I am on about & that his friend was acting really shifty & paranoid"

So basically if his friend was a little bit clever and manipulative and hid his behaviour, your boyfriend wouldn't actually believe you at this point.

Honestly don't listen to your boyfriend. As I said before he has told you and shown you his friend is his priority.

You need to look out for you. You don't owe your boyfriend or his friend anything. Call the police and seriously think about whether you want a relationship with someone that doesn't have your back.

Hi OP

I see you've told your bf, I would always advise to do this rather than sit on it, as not telling him suggests it's not a big deal, or (if it is a big deal) that you keep important things from your bf, and gives him time to get his side of the story in first (eg the kiss didn't come from nowhere).

Sit your bf down and tell him just how awful his friend had made you feel, how you've been worried to tell him, but now you have told him you now expect the same support as if anyone else had been sexually harassing you. Having a hard time, is not an excuse for sexual harassment. You never want to be in the same space as this person ever again, whether he apologises or not. And tell him you suspect that the online stalking is also his friend, and you will be passing this info on to the police

Do you know what, at this point I think the 'friend' actively wishes both of you harm and potentially you're the 'weak link' to get to your BF. He sounds paranoid AF as well as in active ketamine use, it's not a great common.

Screenshot everything and block him everywhere. Up your home security - at the very least get a chain lock fitted today and make sure you keep the back door locked too. Take your BF through everything today once again, we are strongly conditioned to believe our 'mates' over everyone else, particularly men. And I do actually think you should go to the police.

@BeTicklishOtter
Did you call the police? 🫣😬