I think my boyfriends best friend has been stalking me on a fake account

[BeTicklishOtter]

I female (25) have been with my boyfriend (25) for 6 years. His best friend (26) who he loves like a brother has been acting so strange towards me.

so for a little context over the years myself my boyfriend and his friend we have all gone out together on days out, drinking together and just over all had a good friendship & I am very very good friends as well with his ex girlfriend.

since his breakup with his girlfriend my boyfriends best friend has just been out drinking all day every day, getting him self into trouble with the police and hanging around with very bad people. My boyfriend out of his own choice has chosen to distance him self from his best friend as he does not want to see him ruin his life. My boyfriend loves him a lot and has tried to help him but there is only so much you can try to help someone if they don’t accept your help what else really can you do. He hasn’t exactly fell out with him but he’s just not seeing him every day like he used.

my boyfriend is absoutley terrible with phones, he must go through 10x phones a year I’m not even over exaggerating (he works in construction and is very very clumsy)

because of Christmas we have been a bit tight on money so he hasn’t actually yet managed to take his phone into repair. So for the time being he just uses my laptop if he needs to go on social media & family or his friends for example will ring my phone or message me if they need to get hold of him,

His best friend keeps ringing and messaging me to speak to my boyfriend, I told him he doesn’t have a phone & I’ll ask him to call him when he gets back from work. He then starts to spit his dummy out telling me to tell my boyfriend he’s sly and he owes him no loyalty now as he wouldn’t ignore his friends if they fell off and went onto the rails. Tried to explain to him it isn’t like that and maybe he should come round to try and speak to my boyfriend in person instead of over the phone.

I told him that my boyfriend would be back for 7 pm as he had gone to go and see his mums for a few hours as I was working ( I work from home ) Instead he decided to turn up to my house at 3 pm - he first asked if I could put his phone on charge for him whilst he took his dog for a walk, I ran to my back gate to grab his phone of him & to put it on charge. He then asked if he could use my toliet I told him yeah just run up. He kept trying to keep conversation going with me once he came back down saying he might just wait for my boyfriend to get home. I said to him I don’t really think that’s the best idea as he’s still going to be a good few hours.

( I was drinking wine whilst wrapping presents as this was on Christmas Eve, his friend had seen my wine and started asking me what I was up to I said I was just having a few wines and wrapping he then said to me so you not going to grab me one then, I felt a bit awkward at this point I was like yeeee erm you can have one of my boyfriends beers. Whilst his friend was here I was trying to get into contact with my boyfriend telling him that his friend was here, for him to hurry up - but I got no answer back. Eventually my boyfriend rang & his friend went out to speak to him - my boyfriend told him to go home & that he will go round to his friends house later on to go and see him. His friend told me about this and he started to slag my boyfriend of saying he doesn’t know why he’s being like that.

even after my boyfriend told him to leave he kept trying to make excuses to not leave I don’t even know how to explain it but I felt so so so awkward. He kept asking to go to the toliete he must of went to the toilet at least 4 times. He kept telling me he couldn’t wee & he didn’t want my boyfriend walking in thinking anything was happening and kept pointing to his pants. I had no idea what the hell he was going on about untill he said that he had a hard on & I have made him hard the whole time he was there. He then tried to kiss me which I swerved and at that point I told him it’s probably best that he leaves.

he now keeps messaging me telling me he wants to “fuck Me” & “destroy me” that he always has - he kept deleting message so I am completely ignoring what he is putting I am not even replying.

I feel so bad for my boyfriend and I don’t even know how to tell him about what has happened because I know that this will hurt him ALOT his friend ended up coming round the day after on Christmas Day to speak to my boyfriend within an hour my boyfriend told him to go. He keeps messaging me saying he’s coming round to see me but to see my boyfriend as well.

my boyfriend has a lot of love for him and what has happened is going to really really hurt him. He doesn’t really have many friends as it is - he’s told me plenty of times he would die for his friend. I do want to tell my boyfriend I just have absoutley no idea where the hell to start.

as for the stalking me on a fake profile - for nearly 3 years a fake account has been messaging me sexually harassing me - it saves my pictures and sends me then, tells me that I am making them throb and a lot of other things but reading what his friend has sent me the messages ( the way it’s worded and the things it has sent me, sound exactly like what his friend has been messaging me) - the fake account has already told me I know who they are but they can’t tell me who - when I block it a new one is made - the whole situation is also making me feel very very uncomfortable

Lock down your privacy settings. 🙂

You need to tell everyone you know about this plus the police. Firstly to make people aware so they can check in with you and also as it sounds this evil twerp is trying to make the messages sound like you are having an affair. If your bf confronts him he WILL try to say you led him on because he cared about the bf. You are just a piece of meat.
the police might not do much now but at least it’s recorded and gives you a grounding if it starts to get worse.

record every message as evidence and keep telling your family. This man is dangerous and he will escalate

You are young and naive. It was obvious to me that he was going to make a move on you when he came round.

Get a rape alarm and never let him in your home again. Call the police if he knocked your door.

That isn't about an attraction in particular foe you, his life is spiralling downwards since his girlfriend left him and he wants to ruin his friends life so he can be the same as he is and he wants to destroy your relationship and the best way to do that is to come on to you with the hope your boyfriend will think you're lying.

His frequent toilet visits and inability to go to the toilet are serious side effects of ketamine abuse. This man is dangerous and unpredictable and you need to tell your boyfriend.

BBC News - Ketamine addict: 'I can't walk 50m without weeing'
www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-bristol-68826392

This guy is behaving like a predator!! Tell your boyfriend absolutely everything immediately. You need people to know, to help keep you safe from this weirdo!
I think this situation is a lot more sinister than you realise, tell everyone. Don't protect him just because your boyfriend loves his friend. Tell everyone what he's been doing and be prepared to report this to the police too.

Haven't read the full thread but you should have told your boyfriend about the comments out the back door the minute he got home from work and he would've called the friend out I imagine and it wouldn't have continued through texts but I hope you have screenshots to tell him because you have made yourself look at the very least to be dishonest and opened yourself up to accusations or beliefs that you encouraged it. Of course that should not and hopefully will not be the case as you're not to blame and are the victim of harassment but things like this tend to make cracks of distrust in relationships

His behaviour is predatory and he is harassing you.

Tell your boyfriend what’s been going on. He needs to get a phone of his own.

Send the “friend” a very clear message telling him not to contact you again or come to your house - this is important so that he cannot claim it’s been a misunderstanding. After that do not reply to him on ANY platform but don’t block him just yet so you can save his messages, missed calls etc. as evidence.

Screenshot EVERYTHING and keep a diary of everything that happens - using something like microsoft word is good because you can add in screenshots of the messages etc. Write down as much as you can remember with dates and times and then update it with anything else that happens. This will help you so much if you need to get the police involved.

Keep yourself safe: make sure doors are locked and if you are going anywhere on your own the. make sure someone knows where you are and what time you will be back. Consider installing an app like Hollieguard on your phone. Invest in a ring doorbell or cctv if you can so you can get evidence of him coming to the house.

Read “In Control” by Jane Monckton-Smith, it tells you exactly what signs to look for in terms of escalating behaviour and risk. Also consider advice from your local domestic abuse service, they should be able to advise you on the stalking aspect and may be able to signpost you to organisations like Blue Lamp Trust who will help you with security.

Above all else, please take this seriously. Too many young women in this country are murdered by men like this and it is not talked about enough.

Hi so today my partner had to go to work, his friend again turned up to my house. He did text me previously to ask if I had a cigarette but I didn’t reply. I heard knocking on my front door I looked out and he was there. I told him I didn’t have anything and he asked me if he could just come in for 5 minutes. I didn’t even open the door I just spoke through I made up a lie that my boyfriend is on his way back so I probably isn’t best for us to be alone in the house together. He then called me a shit bag & then left.

when my boyfriend got back I told him but he said his mates been going through a hard time at the moment and he probably didn’t mean it in the way that I am taking it. My boyfriend has now going to meet his friend to talk about the situation. I’ve blocked his friend from being able to contact me now. My boyfriend told me not to go to the police as I’m probably just over thinking things and it isn’t that serious & his mates harmless but just going through a rough patch

Thankyou :)

So he’s now minimising his ketamine-addled best friend sexually assaulting and verbally abusing you, and telling you how you’re allowed to feel about it?

Yeah basically, his friend had called him crying so he jumped straight up To go and see him ignoring basically everything I told him

You have a serious boyfriend problem, OP.

OP I haven’t RTFT but please report this to the police because he’s been doing the for a very long time and could become dangerous

Did you speak to your mum OP?

It's not great he's dismissing your account of what happened. "Friend" should be very clearly being told right now he's not welcome at your house and that he needs to stop messaging you.

Is your bf aware of the fake account that's been harassing you? Does he know you suspect it's this guy?

But you said the friend had been messaging you 'telling me he wants to “fuck Me” & “destroy me” that he always has', and asking for 'a little kiss'. Have you shown your boyfriend those messages? You should be screenshotting them straightaway to prevent deletion. If your bf is not taking you seriously they you should consider this relationship. He's putting someone who sounds unbalanced and dangerous before you.

How are you not terrified? This man will attack you given the chance. He’s told you this very clearly. Please contact the police and protect yourself by not ever answering the door to him. The police will warn him about this behaviour.
tbh I think this is the end of your relationship- as how can you be safe if your boyfriend lets this man into your home? How can you respect your boyfriend when he is happy to put you in danger?

You need to show your boyfriend messages.
This guy is stalking you, I recommend you talk to your boyfriend about it likely going to the police very soon

The friend is stalking you and your BF is minimising it, to be fair to him probably because you have minimised it to him.

I think you need to look at your first message and write down bullet points and take your BF through every single thing that has happened. If he continues to minimise this then you need to go to your mum's for a while to stay safe. He's going to keep turning up at your door and I'm actually honestly worried about your safety.

I'd be seriously concerned about your boyfriends minimising if this very serious situation.
Did you speak to your mum about it, what's her thoughts? Is she able to have a chat with her boyfriend to try open his eyes on the seriousness of his friends behaviour?
Personal problems are never a valid excuse for sexual harassment and verbal abuse. Never! This guy is a predator is honestly is the kind of man to rape a woman because his mind is actually very warped with his highly inappropriate to you. He has no respect for boundaries. Is your boyfriend not outraged that his best mate would try assault his own girlfriend like this in her own home while high on drugs???
Don't accept this behaviour...

Pack your bags and leave. Without notice, and ASAP.

This is a really good idea. OP it's very easy to minimise these situations. No-one wants to believe these things of their friends. But what you've reported that's happened on here is serious and your bf really needs to get a handle on it. Otherwise, he's not really much of a bf! It might well be another blow coming to terms with that, but you have to put yourself and your dc first - they certainly do not need to be witness to any of this behaviour.

Your boyfriend is not your person. His priority is his friend, not you. He has told and shown you this. You deserve better.

This.

Your boyfriend is being an absolute asshole.
This mofo sounds downright dangerous. Never be alone with him again. Keep him blocked and have no contact with him. Reconsider being in a relationship with a man who prioritizes this creepy pervert over your safety.

You can retrieve the messages you have recently deleted from this man, to show to your boyfriend if he is minimizing what you told him. It's hard for your boyfriend but he needs to know what you have been putting up with.

If this lad comes calling again, don't tell him he can't come in because your boyfriend is coming home. Be clear with him. He can't come in because you don't want him to. You are happy with your boyfriend and don't want to see him. End of.