Starting to really dislike men..

[Whatshappeningg]

Name changed. Penis beaker, screaming at the michael angelo etc.

i'm 31, and really starting to dislike men, and I'm not sure if this is normal (I'm guessing not though..) or why this is the case.

I am still physically attracted to them. There isn't an issue there. I still have a sex drive. I still enjoy chatting in normal life situations with men.

I suppose I'm fed up of the attention, come on's, and just always feeling like they want something from me. I'm not particularly beautiful, genuinely, in fact I'm short, quite fat and don't wear a lot of make up. I've no idea why they would be attracted to me to be totally honest.

But for example, enquiring to buy something online, whether social media or otherwise, that someone is selling. The amount of times the man can't just do a transaction and leave it there, but must either start messaging afterwards, or, before I even collect the item then starts asking me out etc, is really starting to get on my nerves. Messages if someone happens to come across a post I've commented on, asking if I'm single and literally saying 'thought I'd try my luck'.

Seems you can't even use a local corner shop without the owners trying to be over-friendly, or eventually after chatter, making lewd and suggestive jokes, for example. Never happens in big supermarkets funnily enough, just seems to be where men are unconstrained by normal boundaries of society/watchful eyes.

Walking down the street in city centre, minding my own business, man starts walking beside me, says hello, starts asking about my day, and then drops 'I think you're absolutely stunning', in which case I told him I had a partner. He was gracious about it thankfully, and told me to have a wonderful day, I know plenty of men can be much worse with rejection. BUT I felt so embarrassed, I just want to mind my business and don't like the attention or public displays.

This isn't a goady 'look at the attention I get' - as I said, think size 18, 5ft 5, and a woman in my early thirties ffs. I have no idea how very beautiful women cope because they must get it every time they leave the bloody house & I feel for youse!!!

TBH most of the time I just think they're taking the piss because I'm a big girl, but honestly some of them definitely aren't, and I don't get it. I've always been a bigger girl and it seems like it's ramped the fuck up massively since I hit 30.

Is anyone else sick of it? Just men wanting something from you?

I've had arse pinching and all sorts back in the day, and I am definately not the beautiful type.
All I can say is that as a woman of nearly 50, I am now invisible to men, and it's joyous.

Edited to add that a man working in a charity once proceeded to sing what felt like ten minutes worth of the song 'I like big butts and I cannot lie' at me and my adult daughter, when we went to the counter to pay. We still laugh about it now though!

Nobody is saying it's women's fault at all

We are being realistic and we are talking about how to make it safer for us.

The bigger mammals (men) are always going to attack the smaller mammals (women) .

It's the same in the animal kingdom. The bigger animals attack the smaller animals..

That's why women have to do things to look after our safety

@Kattuccino I am just the same, DH says I have a very approachable face and have a cheeky look? I do have naturally upturned corners of my mouth and wonder if it’s that. A very young guy in his twenties gave me a beaming smile in a shop recently, it was obviously not a flirty one as I’m 58 and I probably reminded him of his favourite Auntie or something. I was harassed by men a lot when young, that was unpleasant. But the invisible older woman thing still hasn’t happened to me.

Mate, women are murdered by men every day of the week. We can't become safer by changing how we look or our facial expressions or (bizarrely) our weight.

That's why this thread is so weird.

You probably have an approachable demeanour, you don't frighten men off, and they ll try it on with you.

I do too, by the way.

There is something friendly, approachable about you. They are not afraid to try it.

Not your fault and you shouldn't have to change anything.

I ve no answers, certain men are pushy and entitled. It's them, not you.

Yeah I wasn't the person who said about changing their weight.

I said I've changed how I dress when I go out.

I make sure I wear big baggy clothes when I go out. I wear a really big long puffa coat. It's like a wearable duvet

When I go out dressed like that, men never approach me, and i never get comments off men. It makes me feel a lot safer.

No I know, I wasn't pointing out anyone's comments in particular, just referencing the thread in general.

I can't imagine dressing for safety or invisibility really. How sad that some of us feel that way.

Get it off your chest.

Who are these men? I’ve not come across any of them lately. As a young thing, I used to get grabbed and touched in nightclubs but I thought nothing of it. It was just part of going out. This was 30 years ago but I appreciate men have got a lot worse on the whole. My husband is wonderful though, so I’m more fortunate than a lot of women. Reading MN posts about awful men only reinforces that.

I used to get this a lot in my early twenties but I’m never hit on anymore now in my mid 30s.

I love my DH and my ds. I'm fond of the men in my family.

But men as a whole? I don't particularly like men have no wish to have male friends or spend time with them generally.

I don't think it matters if women don't really like men...women aren't really a threat to them anyway.

We're not all bad!

well I think the vast majority of men are sleazy arseholes

theyve clearly got together and decided that approaching EVERYONE is a strategy in the hope one will bite. This strategy shows they don’t care about women being actual PEOPLE, just an object for their interest.

5ft 5 isn’t short. And I don’t believe you are actually fat either.

I have a stb 13 year old DD
I'm telling her not to get involved with boys/ men.

I'm telling her to concentrate on her hobbies her friends and herself.

I hope my DD turns out not to be straight. I can't bear the thought of her wasting her time with a useless man.

What the h does 'penis beaker, screaming at the michael angelo etc.' mean?

Why is everyone carrying on like you didn't say anything weird?

You really don't know what a penis beaker is? Come off it ffs.

Maybe you are curvy in the right places?

I haven’t been pestered that much since I started wearing a ring, hauling around a toddler, and/or possibly giving off “don’t talk to me” energy. I’m 28

My mum, on the other hand, is 48 and is constantly getting attention from men. But she is also very friendly/chatty, has older, school/university/adult aged children, and gives off golden retriever vibes.

God! I fucking hate that. Always makes me want to punch the man in the face.

One time, back when I was getting approached constantly, I intentionally went shopping with my hair dirty and pulls up in a sloppy bun, a sweatshirt, stained sweatpants, and runners with literal holes in them. I thought I looked homeless, and some man in the shop still tried chatting me up. They do not care what you’re wearing.

Im about a size 18 top 16 bottom and if I dont wear loose frumpy clothes I get men staring at my boobs and making nasty or dirty comments. I just ignore or give a dirty look. I think they do it to me as maybe they think it will be easier as im out of shape and not got enough money to be paticularly groomed at the moment.

Only a few more years to go op! Totally drops off as you age. It’s so liberating!

But now see it happening to my teens. One in particular is tall and objectively beautiful (not just my mum goggles she’s a signed up model). It’s like being with a celebrity 🙄. Men literally drool. We were in a shoe shop the twenty something shop assistant asked her out with me standing right there ! Tables are always found for us in restaurants etc 🙄

I’m nearly 50 now but used to get this sort of thing a lot when I was younger. I’ve noticed men driving past my 12yr old DD in her summer clothes and having a good look at her. She looks 12 too. Gross