Partner not wanting sex while I am pregnant

[Motherof1and2dogs]

Just wanted to see what everyone thinks about the above. My husband is fully aware I am writing this by the way, but I am curious to see what others think so we can sit down and read together your replies, either I need to respect his feelings or he needs to respect mine (by the way this is not an argument, we have been joking around about the situation but he is 100% serious) so he refuses to have sex with me as soon as I start to show my bump, he gets really freaked out about the thought of having sex when I am pregnant, I can kind of sympathise as it must be a bit strange, but how can we both go the next 6.5 months without sex 😫 I mean he seems fine with it but I'm not. I am not an addict in anyway, but I think at least 1-2 times a month is healthy for your relationship. I do think it will affect me not being able to do it for such a long time in terms of self esteem as well as the emotional side of it, and then when baby is here it will probably be even longer after that!

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Should I respect how he feels and just deal with it? Should he just build up the courage and have sex with me while pregnant? Sorry for so much information but just interested to see what people say, maybe some comments may help me or him with the situation. Thanks in advance! :)

Yeah that bit threw me too. I'd be expecting oral in return then 🤷🏻‍♀️

After reading your update I don't think he's very nice actually. He won't have sex with you but still wants blowjobs? Sounds pretty selfish to me.

Well that's bollocks. My DH totally went off sex with me once I had a bump. It was a bit sad because I felt absolutely stunning, but his loss 😂 Anyway once DS was born I really struggled to breastfeed but DH knew how desperately I wanted to, and threw himself into finding practical ways to help. (Most memorably, by figuring out how to make me a BF-and-hands-free-pumping bra when I was trying to increase my supply, that allowed me to use both hands to position DS on one boob while the bra held my pump in place on the other one. It was a phenomenally unattractive garment, but did the trick and we ended up BFing until DS was 3.5!)

My husband was the same. He felt weird knowing there was already someone else in there.

Definitely not the case for us. Our sex life is back and I'm still breastfeeding at nearly 2 years PP.

I don't think I'd put up with such ignorance of the female body in a life partner 😐

Not sure so many posts mentioning suck it up are appropriate on this thread!!

Doesn't it actually give you the ick that he's that immature? How old are you guys?

I think men often feel concerned that thrusting and orgasm might be bad for the baby and don't want to be responsible for a miscarriage.

I’d be gutted in your position, OP. I’m currently pregnant, much hornier than normal and DH loves my pregnant body, so our sex life is currently the best it’s ever been. If it’s anything like last time, I won’t want to/be able to do anything for about 3 months PP so there’s that to bear in mind too.

I would ask him to explain exactly what the issue is. If he’s worried about doing damage then just a little bit of research will help with that one. If he finds you unattractive then that would be a bit of a deal-breaker for me. How does he think you got in this position in the first place?! If he finds it hard to switch off from thinking about the baby then maybe doing it in the dark will help? Definitely keep up the communication and agree on other things you can do in the meantime to keep the physical connection going. Having a newborn and toddler is seriously stressful, so the more connected you feel, the better it will be for everyone.

If your like me and you enjoy giving BJs then it's actually going to be quite torturous because you'll be all turned on. Don't be a martyr. I hope he reads this. If you aren't allowed to have a sexual relationship during pregnancy which is a stipulation imposed by him then he needs to join you I'm afraid.

I actually feel like your DH- I find sex with a baby in my tummy so weird! Particularly when I can feel it move! I feel so unsexy.

But my DH is fine with sex while pregnant. In fact when I said how unsexy I felt I looked he showed me a sub Reddit where men have a fetish for pregnant women, to make me feel less undesirable. It was hilarious - but also the way they described pregnant bodies as being "the literal embodiment of fertility/sexiness" made me feel a lot better about the whole thing.

No advice really as I felt like your DH... Maybe your DH should check out that subreddit lol

Then I imagine he won't massage her? You seem to be desperate to paint OP as some sort of predator? I do hope I am reading a tone into your messages that isn't there as I'm really not sure where you've picked up that OP is trying to get backup from strangers to justify sexually harassing her husband.

This is a long time married couple posting together to canvas opinions. I don't see how it's necessary to take an exceptionally dim view of the situation - discussing sex in a relationship is a healthy thing to do. Might not be entirely usual to decide to involve MN in your convo but nothing wrong with doing so. She has joked that she'll expect back massages as he still wants blowjobs (thus the laughing emojis). That is something they can decide between themselves based on how they feel at the time. It is not wrong or illegal for a pregnant wife to request a backrub.

Obviously if he’s not comfortable having sex with you whilst pregnant, then he shouldn’t be forced or made to feel bad about not doing it.

It’s very likely that you’ll go through a period of not wanting sex after the birth and that’s ok too.

You can both do other things with each other.

He still expects blow jobs? Um, no, he can fuck right off with that. If he wants blow jobs, he can perform cunnilingus.

No one should have sex if they don't want to

However, if your husband wants you to be happy and relaxed during your pregnancy, he should, imo, help you to orgasm when you'd like him to

Not necessarily PIV, but in a way which suits you both

Being happy and relaxed when pregnant is good for baby

The word 'expects' implies the exact opposite, actually.

My partner was the same. It really bothered me, but obviously I couldn’t do anything about it and neither can you! If he doesn’t want to , he doesn’t want to 🤷🏼‍♀️

My bf was fine having sex pregnant even with a bump until the baby started properly moving then it freaked him out if we had sex and the baby moved so he wouldn’t go near me after that think it’s quite normal

Thankfully my husband was a grown up and we carried on until delivery with both.
Such a happy time and we wanted to be close , sex was good. Towards the end hand to lie on our side s and do it from behind , but still good. After the bath we waited for the six week check up and we’re both keen to get back to it. I would have been so hurt if he had rejected me when pregm
nant, just felt natural to carry on. Easy pregnancies and births helped

Are you saying those of us who didn’t want sex when we were pregnant weren’t “grown ups”? You can be close without fucking.

I'm sure you can wait OP

If he doesn't want to that's fair enough

Sorry, that was in response to @fuzzychic.

My husband was the same when I was pregnant. As soon as I got a bump, it just freaked him out to have sex with me. He didn't want to hurt me or the baby. It really upset me at the time. I was hormonal and feeling insecure which didn't help. I understood where he was coming from though.

He did eventually relent towards the end when I was overdue and sex was one of the few old wives tale remedies that was supposed to actually work. That was a logistical nightmare as I was huge by that point 😂

The word ‘expects’ is the word OP used.

But by your own posts OP is wrong for even wanting massages during pregnancy let alone anything else. So do you have anything to say directly to the OP’s DH as he’s reading this too?