DH is a Freemason and it makes me cringe

[YerJokin]

He takes it so seriously. He's always gone through hobby phases but he's done this for years now and takes it very seriously. He's currently on the phone discussing 'Bretheryn' and it gives me the major ick, I actually want to cry listening to it.

I've tried to stand by him as he takes it so seriously so i attend events and smile encouragingly but I can't bear it. Never knew when I married him that he wanted to do this. It's not the worst thing he could do of course but it's an old boys club and we're only in our 30s!

He has lots of friends and other hobbies so it's not even his only social outlet, no idea why he needs this in his life and treats it like a second job.

Not obsessed at all, if you read the article you’ll see it is the Catholic Church that has an issue with Freemasons not vice versa.

I’ve seen and heard them, it’s not a pretty sight. They’re pathetic bigots and I’ve zero time for people like that.

It's not just Catholics, most Christian churches do not approve. I've had this discussion a few times with all shades of Christians, don't quite know why it came up. Freemasonry is a belief system of its own.

I agree.

I think it’s a system designed to sit along side all belief systems. However, any other organisation that has a rigidly held doctrine will potentially think anything other than the doctrine it promotes is incompatible. I have my personal views and experiences on working multiple systems, although my personal views aren’t relevant here

If you know someone who is a Freemason, then they would be a good person to ask. They could introduce you to the members of their lodge and arrange some informal chats over a drink or something.

If not (as was the case with me) getting approaching someone at a local Masonic hall would be good. I stumbled across the Masonic centre near me by chance. At the time, it was being used by a playgroup (who couldn't help me) but there was a number on the wall, which put me in touch with the nice old gentleman who ran the centre. He invited me down for a drink, answered my questions and he eventually became the Mason who proposed me as a member of his lodge.

You could also inquire through the website of the relevant grand lodge who will put you in touch with someone in your area. If you are a man, that's the United Grand Lodge of England (UGLE):

How to join Freemasonry | United Grand Lodge of England

The Women's Grand Lodges:

The Order of Women Freemasons:

I Want to Join | The Order of Women Freemasons

HFAF: Freemasonry for Women:

How to join

Once you are sure you wish to proceed, there will be an interview. My interview and the ones I have been involved in since have been fairly relaxed and informal. They will want to make you understand what Freemasonry is about and that you are joining for the right reasons. For example, if you want to get rich or advance your career, we can't help you. You will be asked if you believe in a supreme being and whether your spouse or partner (if you have one) is ok with you joining. Can you meet the financial obligations. That kind of thing. If all goes well, a date will be set for you to be initiated.

In addition, the Order of Women Freemasons require a written character reference. I only know this because a female work colleague of mine is looking to join and she asked me to write her the reference.

In answer to ElectricLegs

Apparently they do a lot of charity work too, and i’ve also heard they’re not nearly as misogynistic as they used to be.

Yes but if you are not a Roman Catholic you don’t care what it thinks

Freemasons is not a belief system if it is perhaps you could enlighten us and tell us what that belief is
many men of the cloth are members
the local Baptist church used my lodge to hold their meetings in years ago

My grandmother's father was one. He was also a literally Mason. When he died young, the institute put my grandmother through (a very amazing) private school.
So, it did actually mean something once. Don't know how much of that is left.

That article is nonsense

Not seeing the problem. The Mason's i know are good men. He could be involved in far worse. Put it in perspective - they don't do anything illegal!

*a literal

I think it’s also worth pointing out that the more esorteric elements of Freemasonry are ever decreasing in their presence in many Lodges so even less of an issue for individuals (if there ever really was one)

The problem I am having is Freemasons on here are telling everyone that the rubbish being spouted is that rubbish
but those with some sort of a bias towards the craft don’t want to listen

HomeLibraryArchiveLinksContact
Aims and Relationships of the Craft
In August 1938 the Grand Lodges of England, Ireland and Scotland each agreed upon and issued a statement identical in terms except that the name of the issuing Grand Lodge appeared throughout. This statement which was entitled "Aims and Relationships of the Craft" was in the following terms.
From time to time the Grand Lodge of Scotland has deemed it desirable to set forth in precise form the aims of Freemasonry as consistently practised under its jurisdiction since it came into being as an organised body in 1736, and also to define the principles governing its relations with those under other Grand Lodges with which it is in fraternal accord.
In view of representations which have been received, and of statements recently issued which have distorted or obscured the true objects of Freemasonry, it is once again considered necessary to emphasise certain fundamental principles of the order.
The first condition of admission into, and membership of, the Order is a belief in the Supreme Being. This is essential and admits of no compromise.
The Bible, referred to by Freemasons as the Volume of the Sacred Law, is always open in the Lodges. Every candidate is required to take his obligation on that Book, or on the Volume which is held by his particular Creed to impart sanctity to an oath or promise taken upon it.
Everyone who enters Freemasonry is, at the outset, strictly forbidden to countenance any act which may have a tendency to subvert the peace and good order of society, he must pay due obedience to the law of any state in which he resides or which may afford him protection, and he must never remiss in the alegiance due to the Sovereign of his native land.
While Scottish Freemasonry thus inculcates in each of its members the duties of loyalty and citizenship, it reserves to the individual the right to hold his own opinion with regard to public affairs. But neither in the Lodge nor at any time in his capacity as a Freemason is he permitted to discuss or to advance his views on theological or political questions.
The Grand Lodge has always consistently refused to express any opinion o questions of foreign or domestic state policy either at home or abroad, and will not allow its name to be associated with any action, however humanitarian it may appear to be, which infringes its unalterable policy of standing aloof from every question affecting the relations between one Government and another, or between political parties, or questions as to rival theories of Government.
The Grand Lodge is aware that there do exist bodies styling themselves Freemasons, which do not adhere to these principles, and while that attitude exists the Grand Lodge of Scotland refuses absolutely to have any relations with such bodies or to regard them as Freemasons.
The Grand Lodge of Scotland is a sovereign and independent body practising Freemasonry only within the three degrees and only within the limits defined in its Constitution. It does not recognise or admit the existence of any superior Masonic authority however styled.
On more than one occasion the Grand Lodge has refused, and will continue to refuse, to participate in conferences with so-called International Associations claiming to represent Freemasonry, which admit to membership bodies failing to conform strictly to the principles upon which the Grand Lodge of Scotland is founded. The Grand Lodge does not admit such claim, nor can its views be represented by such Association.
There is no secret with regard to any of the basic principles of Freemasonry, some of which have been stated above. The Grand Lodge will always consider the recognition of those Grand Lodges which profess and practise, and can show that they have consistently professed and practised, those established and unaltered principles, but in no circumstances will it enter into discussion with a view to any new or varied interpretation of them. They must be accepted and practised wholeheartedly and in their entirety by those who desire to be recognised by the Grand Lodge of Scotland.
A Conference held in June 1949 between the Grand Lodges of England, Ireland and Scotland and all unhesitatingly reaffirmed the statement that was pronounced in 1938; nothing in its present-day affairs (1993) has been found that could cause them to recede from that attitude.
If Freemasonry once deviated from its course by expressing an opinion on political or theological questions, it would be called upon not only publicly to approve or denounce any movement which might arise in the future, but would sow the seeds of discord among its own members.
The three Grand Lodges are convinced that it is only by this rigid adherence to this policy that Freemasonry has survived the constantly changing doctrines of the outside world, and are compelled to place on record their complete disapproval of any action which may tend to permit the slightest departure from the basic principles of Freemasonry. They are strongly of opinion that if any of the three Grand Lodges does so, it cannot maintain a claim to be following the Antient Landmarks of the Order, and must ultimately face disintegration.

That would be a major deal breaker for me. It's not all about charity, it is secretive, misogynistic and unaccountable. Look back at all the met police corruption scandals of the 1970s /1980s. It's the opposite of good governance and filters down from westminster to the lowest levels of local government. The more you find out about it, the less appealing it is.

A lot of this rather pointless to-ing and fro-ing could be resolved if FMs would just tell us clearly what is the point of going through all the mumbo-jumbo and ritual ie enacting the Abiff myth with bared left breasts, rolled up trouser legs, blindfolds, noose around the neck, shrouds, coffins, funny handshakes, funny walks, passwords etc etc ad nauseum. The charity business is a red herring designed to provide a fig leaf of respectability. Why would grown men (and much later, women) be going through all this humiliation and nonsense if there were not some pay off?
PS. I’m sorry I got the Seddon/Bucknill story slightly wrong. It was told to me by a mason friend twenty-five years ago, before there was Wikipedia to check it, to show me how “moral” was the Masonic judge in rejecting Seddon’s plea for help. I actually replied that Bucknill had no choice because plenty of people in the court would have seen and recognised the sign.

Going back over our running thread here you noted there were Catholics in your Lodge
I noted the RC church is against Freemasonry
What has your last post got to do with that,
The point obviously is that if their are Catholics in your Lodge they’re not exactly following their religion or it’s beliefs.
RC in name only perhaps. Or just ignorant of the clash between Freemasonry and their religion

That is the choice of the individual I can’t speak for them

Which is exactly the point

If you want to know then join

What point

@Auntywokery I joined in my 30s mainly for the social aspect. I was single, had moved careers and most of my old friends had got married and had kids so weren’t around as much. I was invited to join by a work colleague.

I was interested in the charitable aspect (as I felt I should be doing more for charity but couldn’t quite work out what) and the challenge of learning the ritual. The mystery also appealed.

I get that many people find the rituals weird. But I’ve never come across anyone who has found them humiliating- quite the opposite. Everyone in the room always wants you to do well and enjoy yourself. If you listen to the lessons in the ritual and try to live by them I do think it helps you to live a better life. I don’t believe for a second that the charitable side is a fig leaf. I’m fairly certain the 80/20 split of Masonic charity v non-Masonic charity applies to the MCF only and doesn’t include the other Masonic charities or individual lodge giving (eg London Freemasons have just pledged £3 million to fund a new air ambulance).

As in any group of people, I have met some masons who have views I don’t agree with. I just don’t talk to them much. On the whole, the organisation is full of nice, community-minded people who are good fun. I’ve also met some really interesting people who I wouldn’t have met otherwise.

There’s technically not much you can’t talk about. Most people I know don’t advertise their membership because they’re afraid it will count against them.

To the OP- if your husband is out so much that it’s harming your family life then he’s doing it wrong. Family, work, freemasonry is the order every mason is told things should go. I’ve dropped out of meetings at very short notice before because my wife or children are sick (or because my wife just doesn’t want me to go that evening). The answer I get is always family comes first.