22 months being referred to the paediatrician

[Firstimemum24]

Hi
Sorry for the long post but I feel lost at the moment and I’d like some help from fellow mums and dads .
help me with my little
My little one 22 months DD

1. answer to questions with yes but not with no . When she doesn’t want something she doesn’t answer
2. Answer to where’s and what’s and who’s questions with familiar faces
3. Give kisses and high five
4. Point , wave and clap
5. Ask for what she wants by pointing or using the word for it and asks for help
6. Follow simple instructions such as : “ bring mum the fork “ pick it up and give it mummy “ come here and stop and wait for mom “ when outside . Sit on the couch , bath time and food time she sits on her little chair , put bunny to bed or bring me the blanket, let’s change . But that’s it she is not improving on that front
7. Uses over 200 words and sometimes 2 word phrases : like feed baby , daddy train , spin me , more crackers please , wash bunny ,
8. She loves playing in front of the mirror and copying some songs and play hide and seek with us
9. She loves cuddles
10. She enjoys sitting and reading a book and point at what she sees
11. She can point to every body parts
12. Says hi to people and kids
13. She doesn’t have meltdowns that go on

Concerns

1. toe walker ( I have been told it is a milestone 🤔) since she was 14 months
2. Very shy and anxious around people and doesn’t like playgroups but then again she is an only child
3. Picky eater ( this is what she eats ) bolognese pasta
4. Pasta with ricotta and tomato
5. Pasta pesto
6. Pasta with zucchine
7. Lasagna
8. Meatballs
9. Toast with butter and marmite
10. Almond and chocolate croissant
11. Banana and kiwi
12. Pear and peaches cantaloupe
13. Apples
14. Vegetarian sausage and peanut butter toast
15. Chicken and Brie sandwich
16. Raw Carrots and. Broccoli
17. Veggies crisps

She doesn’t seem to be able to sit still when she has dinner and she is most happiest when it is just us 3 and no family in the house . She starts to whine when other people are around or gets overexcited . The thing is not was ever able to get close to her since she was born because of her personality.
We don’t take her to lunches or coffee shops as she would sit in the buggy

She passes the Mchat with 0 and the ASQ questionnaire for 24 months but she has been referred to see a paediatrician due to social anxiety ( mostly just as a precaution the HV said ) .
I am so confused and lost because we never had anyone on the spectrum on both sides of the family and I am trying to learn everything that I can . Research shows that when not genetic it is environmental but I haven’t been exposed to anything different

What instructions can a 22 months old follow ? ☺️

What’s the AIBU?

Didn't you post this a few days ago?

What is the question?

She sounds an entirely typical 1 year old to me

She sounds like a typical nearly two year old. I’m not too sure why you’ve been referred.

Honestly, no one can answer your concerns online. This is such a small snapshot of your daughter at a young age by her mother that it’s pretty impossible to determine anything.
The paediatrician will be objective and more than likely offer support with areas of concern like toe walking - physio and refer back to HV for social
support etc. it would be very inisual
to get a diagnosis at that age. Not unheard of but not likely.
as for familial factors of ND, they could well be there but undiagnosed and unrecognised. Family members may be masking etc. or be known as
slightly Quirky etc. you never know. It’s only much later I can see it in my family and we are all over 40yrs.

Haven't you started several.threads,about this,,?Most of what you have,written seems,quite normal.for a,child of her age
Her diet also.seems very good
Autism.has,a,genetic factor but that doesn't always,mean what people think it mean ,s my son for example!e has,a,rare chromosome disorder thought to.be an underlying reason for autism and other complex disabilities,so there for genetic but it hasn't been inherited and neither me or his,Dad are autistic
There is not one cause for autism and the,spectrum is vast.

Did the HV do the Social & Emotional Ages & Stages?

Most of what you've said isn't a big deal, even the toe walking, plenty of kids and even adults toe walk and it's fixated on as an issue but isn't generally a sign of anything. BUT your child has to socialise so if she's only happy with the 3 of you in the house then it makes sense to have support with that, she's going to be going to preschool and school at some stage so it's worrying if she's not comfortable anywhere else and missing part of her development.

My DD had an autism and learning disability diagnosis at about this age, it's quite unusual to have one so early and it usually means that the differences are very noticeable. She was completely non-verbal, had very obvious stimming behaviours (spinning, holding her hands to cold items, rocking), and she wouldn't chew food so any food had to be in tiny bite-sized pieces. It was the beginning of a 12 month (very smooth) journey towards diagnosis, with an OT referral, speech therapy, learning disability social worker (who co-ordinated everything) and the paeds doctor as well. We then had our final meeting with the paeds doctor to confirm diagnosis and to discuss a care plan moving forwards. Every child is different, and a paeds appointment could identify mobility needs (e.g., for toe walking) without any neurodivergence at all, so just go with it and see what is said.

Why has she been referred? There must be more to it than this.

There is nothing here that wouldn't have been true of all of my three except the toe walking. And that's not a concern on its own; I've known several children who toe walked and only one had any extra needs at all, and those were mild.

I'd be quite wary of anyone who referred my two year old to a paediatrician because of 'social anxiety'.

Seems very odd referral
Diet is fine
But go along with it
Paediatrician will observe and refer on or not fir physio or Ot or SLt

Bloody hell, my 2.3 year old has no words and eats alot less than what yours eats and only now are they taking me seriously. Oh and he scored 8 on the mchat. Honestly she sounds completely normal. Stop looking for problems where there aren't any

Blimey, my 2 year old will only eat Wotsits at the moment. He's going to look like an Oompa-Loompa soon. OP, kindly, do you have anxiety?

How can a two.year old be socially anxious ?
Its,normal for them to be clingy, to their parents at that age its also.normal for them to play alongside other children rather than with them.

Sounds typical but under socialised. Start going to playgroup/ballet/swimming classes, and going to cafes for treats and the playground/softplay. She’ll acclimatise to more noise and bustle if you let her.

Given she's 2, that's not great news !

That doesn’t sound concerning to me. I would say the key thing is you need to start pushing out of the comfort zone you have got into and going to more place, lack of exposure won’t help her develop the skills.

Don't know if this will be helpful or not but our nursery picked some things up at their 2yrs review (feb) which prompted her 2-2.5yr check to be done earlier followed by her ASQ-SE at an integrated review at nursery in the spring. She was taken to panel and we have just had her first appointment with a paedtrician and speech and language therapist who basically said after a couple hrs of observation and questions that is on the spectrum.

Now when we initially went to the nursery shortly after she turned two I was completely caught off guard, her physical development are fine as is speech, they brought up issues with social and emotional which we had no knowledge about, this was further compounded by the hospital review.

So we are now waiting up to 12months for an early bird parenting course but will be doing our own research and education in the meantime

There are so many things to process but I'm so glad it was picked up on early as getting help at school age can be a nightmare

You posted this is a few days ago.

Are you feeling worried? Concerned she is being refered when it isn’t needed?

Sounds like me when I was little, I was just painfully shy and had a lot of social anxiety, was diagnosed with ocd very very young as a lot of the obvious ocd things would start coming out more when I was anxious around people

@Bogginsthe3rd 22 months- almost 2, however still 1

You posted this exact thing a few days ago.
Your child still sounds very normal.
Time to get off the internet and get some real life attention.

Her diet and use of language does not sound at all delayed to me. Many young children are very shy. One of my children is autistic and had no words at 2. She had learnt about 20 a few months prior and then had dropped them. That struck fear into my heart.

However when she did eventually talk it was at a higher level and she still struggles to put together sentences due to short term processing being slow and a high intelligence meaning her thoughts are complex. When she was 2, she refused to have anything to do with other children. She would face the wall. Again, I would come home and sob. However, she's had the same best friend since she was 3 who she met at preschool. She found it really difficult to go but I'm so glad we persevered.

I pushed for a referral to a paediatrician who reviewed her yearly from the age of about 3 and eventually said she didn't have autism. She does. It was diagnosed privately when she was 9. And her autism has meant something completely different to the idea in my head of what autism is. She's super clever and focused, talks incessantly about her areas of interest, is different but loved by her few friends, thinks about things really deeply and will do the right thing if it kills her.

Having had other children as well, what I wish I had known is that every child is a separate journey. Things that could be a sign of something can turn out to be nothing. Other times, you know in your gut that something is just different and experts take longer to work it out. The only thing that matters is your willingness to accept her for who she is and connect with her on her terms.

No one can give you the answers you're looking for right now and I understand that you're scared. But one day you will be looking back on this and seeing the way your toddler grew into who they were meant to be with your support, and you wouldn't change them. It will be ok. That's what you need to know right now. It will be ok. She's going to be ok. By all means, inform yourself and don't make the mistakes I did, like insisting on eye contact or thinking she couldn't possibly have dyslexia as well because what were the chances. But the most significant thing you can do for her is to give her a place of calm connection. Everything will work itself out.

The variety of food she eats is really good. I wouldn’t have any concerns about the food.