To use the kids Christmas money to get me through January?

[darkmorning]

In a way I don’t know why I’m asking as I don’t have a choice really, but if the overall consensus is absolutely not I suppose I can use a credit card or something.

PIL gave both children £50 for their savings accounts. I’d have to put the cash in my bank account and transfer to their savings accounts: plan is to do this after I’ve been paid in January. Should I? Or is this just horrible?

I would tell the parents in law that you are in dire straights and will be using the money for one month before repaying it.

No, because then they’d give me money!

For goodness sake just do it and pay it into their accounts when you can, it's for their good as much as yours so stop feeling guilty about it! Totally ridiculous to use a credit card for this in my opinion. I have grandchildren and would never think badly of their parents if they needed to do this...

This. I'd do anything not to take from my children.

So just to be clear, you don't want to lend it from elsewhere (eg. Credit card) as you know you won't pay it back, in fact you admit you can't control yourself and will spend even more. Yet you think the answer to that problem is "lending" it from your children?

Well, yes, that’s right. If the answers had overwhelmingly been that it was an awful thing to do then I wouldn’t have done it. As it is, I’ve decided to pay it into their accounts because it just felt like the right thing to do, once I’d paid it into my account, if that makes sense. Here’s to a frugal 2025!

@Meeting yes and no.

I think it is very easy to rack up debt on credit cards and thousands of people would agree with this, even if you personally are not one of them. Money in your bank account is more finite, unless you have access to an overdraft which I don’t. It is easier for me personally to keep to a strict budget of say £100 than to have a credit card. But it is a moot point now.

Goodness OP, if things are tight at the moment stop the monthly savings to your children's accounts until you're back on an even keel. There's no way I'd be putting that money in whilst racking up debt on a credit card.

Give yourself three months, or whatever, to sort your finances out and keep a note of what monies you 'owe' then, if you do. Discuss with your husband so that he is also aware of how things are and can support you, this is his deficit also, not just yours.

Your children are young, you have time to fix this and bring everything fiscal back into line. Best wishes, don't feel guilty, your children deserve a mother not stressed to the eyeballs about money.

If you need to then of course you should. People get so hung up up on this. Your children will get plenty of money from you in their lives. Pay it back over the next few months and don't stress about it. My parents used money we were given as children to buy a new carpet. I only found this out about it years later when I opened a bank account and they put some money in it to pay me back. Never been as issue at all.

It felt right, because it was right.

There's loads of advice on how to manage finances out there, if you fancy some tailored help, I'd happily see if I can guide and help to make your situation significantly better.

Context, I was once in debt up to my eyeballs, no new credit cards would accept me so couldn't balance transfer, and with some savvy moves and strict discipline I managed to clear the debt.
Then I managed to save for a house deposit and more.
Happy to speak confidentially if you require it.

Use the money to cover bills, food etc if needed. You are their mother and can make the decision over what you feel is best. A bunch of strangers can cast their opinions but if essentials are needed then use the money the children will understand in long term. Ideally if you can manage to put the money into their savings over time then do it but if not do not feel guilty you keeping them looked after right now which is the main thing.

Just do it, explain nothing to anybody. If you feel bad coz of MN pps - don't as they've never been in your position.

Seems silly to save £50 each month for your kids so £100

Yet struggle paying All your own stuff

Yes dec /Christmas can be costly

Well, that’s been covered pretty extensively but people are allowed to do things differently and prioritise different things, putting money in my children’s savings accounts absolutely ensures it doesn’t get wasted or frittered, it’s watertight for now at any rate. So i make that choice.

I understand that saving for children looks as a good choice for you now - including that you feel in control when you manage to save it and that the money in children's accounts are watertight for now. Overall, it looks that you have a plan and things are improving for you, fingers crossed.

However, it comes with a different risk - you won't have much control over how they will use the money once they turn 18, as another poster realised here https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5238683-should-i-buy-them-a-holiday?page=1
More posters in that thread shared stories about their children splashing the money at 18, some regretting it later.

Of course, your children might not do it, but it would be awful to see something like that after scraping for them.

(I can imagine that keeping things as they are for now might still be a good choice for you, and switching to a different product can wait until you get more financially stable overall, so watertight now would become less important than having control in future)

Well done op I think you've done the right thing.

You're not alone with the credit card situation- many people I know have credit cards and credit accounts with companies.
I did and it slowly but easily got to a fair amount because it's credit so was EASILY done with this here and there it just built up. After being strict with myself and making some cut backs I managed to pay it all off. I am now very good as I pay back what I owe the following month and don't go mad.

Good luck.

This is so confusing
You have no money/savings , but the children do
You have three credit cards and one paid off?

How much do you owe in credit?
You have no mortgage but have assets?
You keep saying you're not looking for financial advice...maybe you should.
If the children have accounts why aren't the ppl giving money directly into that?
You're clearly going to use their money so what was the pointb of the thread ?

Don't host nxt year- someone else's turn. It's a massive expense too. I would bow out of NYE too- quiet and cheap one st home

It’s not really confusing.

You have no money/savings , but the children do That isn’t confusing, it’s just different to how you personally would approach your finances.

You have three credit cards and one paid off? This isn’t confusing either. I had four credit cards and I am trying to pay them off, one at a time.

You haven’t read the thread. So that might be why you’re confused.

@SunnyTealLeader thousands of people who don’t fall into a, b or c have debt. For my part, my circumstances are probably quite unique which is why I’ve stressed I’m not seeking financial advice. You’re a bit over invested in the thread, go and have a mince pie or something.

Yeah people like to say "I'm confused" when really they mean "I wouldn't do it like that"

It's an absolute shitshow isn't it?
4 credit cards, 'needs' to spend petrol money visiting family, hosts a big Christmas but now can't afford food.
Poor kids.