Gin night ruined by my son?

[Becc91]

So my DS came back from Bristol Uni (with a mullet no less 😣) and told me off in front of my girl friends - all for singing Do They Know It's Christmas?
Apparently one term of a politics degree makes him qualified to tell me what I can and can't sing in my own home after a few gins. Feeling quite hurt and embarrassed as this all happened in front of my friends.

I don't see what I've done wrong but I don't want to be ignorant, is it just me??
Opinions wanted , thanks xx and merry christmas

He didn’t need to tell you off, and would have had short shift in my house for that. That said, do they know it’s Christmas is rather a politically dividing song these days. Brutally honest, but I find the whole Band-Aid thing to be completely virtue signalling and really quite distasteful now. We do sing along on the radio occasionally and it’s not exactly band but I can understand why he finds it to be inappropriate. If nothing else the African countries of which it was originally sung about have hugely Christian populations… They probably know far more about actual Christmas than Band-Aid and our celebrities do.

I think it’s probably quite normal for young adults to come back from university full of new ideas and the pompous attitude that comes with it and I wouldn’t be too embarrassed if I were you. I’d probably just roll my eyes a little bit and have a laugh with my girlfriend.

Exactly what @StillweriseLH said. He'll calm down when the novelty of encountering opinions other than his parents' has worn off.

The embarrassment is his, not yours.

Let him stew in his arrogant 1st year of uni ways, he’ll come out the other side at some point. What an idiot 🤣

If only you’d recorded his rant to play back to him in a few years! He’d probably cringe so much he’d turn inside out

Oh is gin your excuse for singing a racist song?
I am with your DS.

Is being anonymous on the internet your excuse for berating the OP?

I'd send a 'great night, as you can see my DS has become a typical politics student LOL!' message to your friends. To your DS you say that he will not be telling you off in front of friends again, unless he wants to be embarrassed in return, and because you're his mum.

Tell him you're embarrassed of his arrogance and ignorance. He wasn't even born when band aid was written, he can have an opinion, but remind him opinions are like arseholes, we all have one!

Tell him if he's ever rude to you like that again you will put him in his place loudly and sternly in front of whoever is there. I would have done that at the time.

Racist? Give yer head a wobble.

If so racist, the money / donations can be returned if peoples feelings are hurt.

I would berate her & her friends in real life. It’s 2024, there is no excuse to sing a song known to be racist since 1984.

Good grief - really? That has to be a joke

There was a massive famine, the worst in a century, it affected millions of people. Some musicians in the U.K. saw an horrific news report and tried to do something nice about it.

so the only ‘virtue signalling’ is by people with the benefit of hindsight and a better understanding of the complexity of Africa, who would probably have been the same people moaning back in 1984 instead of trying to do something about it.

Sing it loud and proud, sit your son down and make him watch episodes of the Young Ones, with particular emphasis on Rik.

My African friend hates that song and has all her life so I’m with him it’s very much white saviour. Outdated and belongs in the things that are not sang anymore section.

He'd have felt the wrath of my tongue even attempting to do that to me. In public, and in private.

I saw somewhere that Band Aid income had a net negative effect on Africa's income overall because of how badly it portrayed Africa

Haranguing the OP and her friends during a boozy gin night isn't going to be an effective way of getting that point across. He'd have been better waiting till next day to have the conversation - but, as most people have said, he is young and probably hasn't learned the life lesson of choosing the best moment and method for a point to hit home.

His behaviour tells me more about him than you OP. DD works in international development. Maths degree and further degree in public health (not one term of a politics degree), and we were talking about DTKIC the other day. She is firmly on the side of the arguement that international aid and awareness is an evolution. It took us baby steps to get where we are today (and one could argue we're still a long way from truly helping). DTKIC was the first part of the journey.
Your son sounds like a bullying ignoramous who is unable to think through complex issues.

The song has aged very badly - Africa referenced as one homogenous nation, rather than a very diverse continent of people, regions, cultures and climate.

It's an incredibly problematic song, I was young when it came out and I knew that then! I found it incredibly patronising but my best friend at the time was African so I was probably more aware than most!

However it's a good belter after a couple of drinks and I'd have no problem singing it or listening to others sing it. I'd have just rolled my eyes at my kid and carried on!

Yes that’s my friends point she says they also knew it was Christmas and it could be hard enough over there without a song just adding to the bs of those living in Africa living in mud huts not knowing what was going on in the world when they bloody well did.

Like the day after when she is sober and whinging on Mumsnet? Is now a good time to point out how her and her friends gin drinking song is racist?

Or do we need to worry about her fragility?

Well how much did 'Africa' do to solve the problem in Ethiopia?

YABU to not have just said, "I'll take your opinions seriously when you have a less silly haircut, now piss off up to your room and let me enjoy my night with my friends."

And how much has band aid and water aid and all the other charities since before I was born and after actually genuinely achieved in Africa… Since the averts still exist today and I’m in my 30’s.

My mum says she remembers about water for Africa when she was a child…

I've never liked the song. But I'd appreciate being lectured by a pompous twit even less. 🤡