Gin night ruined by my son?

[Becc91]

So my DS came back from Bristol Uni (with a mullet no less 😣) and told me off in front of my girl friends - all for singing Do They Know It's Christmas?
Apparently one term of a politics degree makes him qualified to tell me what I can and can't sing in my own home after a few gins. Feeling quite hurt and embarrassed as this all happened in front of my friends.

I don't see what I've done wrong but I don't want to be ignorant, is it just me??
Opinions wanted , thanks xx and merry christmas

@pinkrawwbit I didn't say I know nothing about the problems with Bandaid though? Do I think they should be cancelled and the OP called a racist? No I don't.

Were you also singing Rule Britannia, Brown Sugar, Illegal Alien, Island Girl, oh, and just so we are inclusively racist how about They Sold Me Out?

To be fair, I don’t think the writers were literally suggesting that people in Africa don’t know Christmas exists, even if Christian.

The point was that people suffering from severe poverty, for obvious reasons, may not be privy to the associated spirit of gift-giving and generosity (and feasting). The message was that by raising money for those affected by the famine, we in rich countries can help them have a plentiful Christmas too.

I am aware of the criticisms and problems of the song, but it was well-meaning and of its time.

There’s also the consideration of artistic license - it’s not a charity manifesto, it’s a song, and the song has to sound good, hit the right emotional notes and have a simple message. Most popular music is aimed at teens and young people, not 50 year old broadsheet readers.

Ok but the point is Africans find it offensive should be enough in itself.

I was a right pretentious one when I was at Uni, just ask my Mum. I cultivated a posh accent and joined the Young Conservatives. He'll get over it!

Have you asked all 1.5 billion of them?

Ridiculous!!

Just the ones who attended the local school with their children in the sense of they all moaned loudly every Christmas. Many with relatives still living in Africa.

Sure they know much more how their family’s and friends felt than the random people in the U.K. donating £2

I rather fancy if it was me, it'd be mothers hand / belt / shoe I'd have been feeling! 😅
Different world back then....

So with hindsight, back in 1984 when we were watching horrific, constant news images of starving Ethiopian children Geldof should have said “Fuck them, let them starve to death. Africa isn’t poor, so they’ll be fine”?

To be fair, I don’t think the writers were literally suggesting that people in Africa don’t know Christmas exists

At the time, I took it that the starving Ethiopians were focusing on surviving day to day, so wouldn't have room in their minds to consider what the date was or energy to celebrate it.

All we had in those days to inform our understanding were the pictures on the news of starving people, babies with huge swollen bellies and stick-like limbs - everyone wanted to do something; you couldn't easily just make donations to charity when you felt like it in 1984 as you can now, but you could get the bus into town and buy a record.

No one is saying that.

The point is, that in 2024 when it is well known to be a racist song, there is no excuse to still be singing it even after a few gins.

It’s not complex. You find out x is racist, you should stop doing it. Not defend it.

No, your memories as a white person of a few kids in your primary school does not give you authority to 1) conclude that a song is definitively offensive for 1.5 billion people as if they are homogeneous
2) justify accusing someone of racism for singing along to a famous Christmas song at a Christmas party in her own home.

The debate about the pros and cons of DTKIC is academic, and a teenager attacking his merry mum at a Christmas party is not at all appropriate. There’s a time and a place.

As a white person in primary school?

you mean as a adult taking my children to primary school. Surrounded my many different cultures including those from different parts of Africa who all found it offensive. Ok…

Sounds like you’ve been practicing that speech in the mirror.
The song and the Sales it’s generated has done nothing but help those in need.
Can you kindly explain how racist please. It’s a huge and terrible thing to accuse someone of. If I was the OP I’d be bloody damn furious

I would also point out that the song was on all the Christmas playlists of the major pop radio stations in the UK this year - they might be a better target for protests than individuals singing at a party.

You sound really uninformed and dismissive of the decades of criticism from all quarters. Would you say the same if OP were dancing about with a Gollywog doll? That it is academic that it is racist and can’t be considered racist until we have asked all 1.5billion Africans for their opinion.

Exactly this. I was a teenager when DTKIC came out. We had school assemblies about Ethiopia, and fundraisers. People were frustrated at the inaction and slow response of governments and wanted to do something. The suffering was widely broadcast on TV in a way that similar disasters had previously not been.... bear in mind that, in the UK, colour TV had only been widespread in most houses for less than 10 years at that point. People were genuinely really upset at the suffering and misery, and wanted to do whatever they could to help.

The song was of its time, it was a genuine attempt to fundraise by a bunch of pop artists who were not experts in international development. It was thrown together quickly to raise money fast.

Even at that time I remember that at school we criticised the simplistic lyrics. For sure it has not aged well, and we have learned a lot since then, not least that raising money does not resolve the root of the problems.

The song itself is a key part of that era and possibly the beginning of the era of popular celebrities using their entertainment platforms to raise awareness of issues. It should, in my opinion, be taken in that context and with the genuine good intent that it was created with.

PP I am so sorry but your son has three more years left of this. Hang on in there and remember it is your job to embarrass him. Do it often, and next time you have a gin party sing along, make sure he has invited a uni friend back too.

@LoremIpsumCici It’s not “well known to be racist” outside of certain circles. To many people it’s just a Christmas song that did something for charity.

There is some debate about it. There’s lots of criticism looking through a modern lens, but still many support it.

I don’t think people like you realise how much of a big deal it is to accuse someone of racism. You can’t just throw the word around for the most tenuous of reasons at innocent people who at worst are guilty of being ill-informed about an academic debate on a 40 year old song.

Genuine question - where are all the royalties going 40 years on ? I imagine they are in the tens if not hundreds of thousands even now

Clearly not as satisfying as berating people and getting to say problematic a thousand times.

DP and I done baby it's cold outside for our karaoke song, does not make me an anti-feminist or on board with creepy, potentially rapist men. Just means I like the song. There are so many racist, misogynistic, misandrist songs out there. Singing any of them in your own home does not make you hateful.

People sing the n word in songs, doesn't make them racist in my opinion.

You still haven't explained in clear simple language why you believe this song to be racist and what you understand by the word 'racist'. It would help if you did that, as several people have requested. A lot of people nowadays seem to feel that if you label something 'racist' or someone 'bigoted' that's enough, all discussion must cease. Well, no.

They go to a charity, the Band Aid Charitable Trust.