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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH complaining about my Christmas Dinner

342 replies

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 05:12

Primarily the beef! Which wasn’t good - tough as old boots he said. Reminded him of a shoe etc.

DH worked Christmas Day, home at 2. We have small children and I spend the morning/afternoon running between the kitchen and the living room cooking/playing with the kids/opening presents/building toys and cleaning and cooking a big Christmas dinner.

Main was a huge turkey crown which was beautiful, everyone enjoyed it. All fresh veg, homemade cauliflower cheese, Yorkshires, all the trimmings etc. Beef was an extra (small joint) but not the main event. Texted DH in the morning-help! I’ve never cooked beef before (I eat mostly a vegetarian diet) how long does he want me to cook it for? Just guess! Was his reply!

Served up the dinner and he moaned and moaned about how the beef was like an old boot and he could barely cut through it.

It was very tough-told him to leave it and just eat the turkey.

To make it worse - his family came over in the evening and they asked how our dinner was and all he could mention was the beef being like old boots and our kids laughed along. His Mum then offered to teach me how to cook beef. Grr! He also commented on how much I had spent on the turkey this year-it was expensive but I was alone with the children and had to wait for DH to be home so I could shop for it, not much left and spend a lot more than usual.

Felt like I was in the kitchen for several hours prepping, cooking and cleaning. I was exhausted when he came home. AIBU? I was v.embarrassed when he mentioned it in front of his family and it sounded like the whole of my dinner was shit when it was only one of many other dishes.

OP posts:
user1471538283 · 26/12/2024 10:01

Well you don't do it again. If he wants anything different from what you've made he makes it.

In my family you get what you are given and you are grateful.

Laughing at you? No.

Oodlesandoodlesofnoodles · 26/12/2024 10:03

“Your turn next year, darling.”

arethereanyleftatall · 26/12/2024 10:03

ChiliFiend · 26/12/2024 10:01

I agree with other people re not doing Christmas dinner again but the reality is you won't do that, and that's what's so frustrating about so many stories on Mumsnet and everywhere else - women working themselves to the bone and being taken completely for granted, when all it would have taken to make you feel good is well-deserved compliments about the meal and how much work you've put in. Can we all stop raising sons to be like the husband in this story? As for your husband, I wouldn't cook beef for him again, ever - and if he requests it say "sorry, I decided to stop cooking beef the Christmas you made such a big deal of me overcooking it and ignored the hours of work I put into the meal in general." Twat.

Agree. But without the sorry at the start!

ClairDeLaLune · 26/12/2024 10:06

Why on earth did you cook beef as well as turkey? You were making far too much work for yourself. When did you have time to enjoy Christmas Day? Next year - do the minimum. Oh and your husband is an arse.

InaChristmastizz · 26/12/2024 10:06

As a MIL with adult sons myself, I’m annoyed that your MIL didn’t bollock DH for criticising your cooking after everything else you’d been doing all day.

Who does he think he is?? A fuckwit, that’s what!

Itsabeautifulthing · 26/12/2024 10:11

I would have told mil she could teach her son how to cook the beef!

CleftChin · 26/12/2024 10:13

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 06:01

The issue was more how it was the first thing he mentioned along with moaning that there was no cutlery on the table and he would have to wash some-there was but he just couldn’t find it. Also stuffing his face with chocolate just before I was dishing up and complaining that I hadn’t sat down to join everyone but I was still running around serving everyone.

He has fucking arms..

Christ. I had to ask my youngest to make the table, and he did whinge that I wasn't asking his brother, but he did do it at least - and he's 11..

And the beef, next time he can cook Christmas dinner then - there's enough time after he gets back from work if he cooks the turkey the day before.

pelargoniums · 26/12/2024 10:13

Hwi · 26/12/2024 09:40

Sorry, I was wrong. She is clearly a partner in a law firm, working from home, remote hearings, that sort of thing. Hence money is not an issue. He goes to work for fun/to feel masculine/not to sponge off her money, hence working on Christmas day. He was mentioning the price of the turkey because it is what you do when you are engaged in small talk. Sorry.

are you quite ok

Safirexx · 26/12/2024 10:18

brummumma · 26/12/2024 05:50

You obviously have access to the internet so could have googled how to cook beef? You admit it was awful and if he's making some jokes about it so what just let it go over your head I think you are blowing this out of proportion

This is unkind, unhelpful and untrue. Who are you to tell OP her feelings are not valid? Those comments are not ‘jokes’.

AnarchismUK · 26/12/2024 10:21

TuffasOldBoots · 26/12/2024 06:10

Interesting 🤨 It was a joint from Tesco - £7.75 with a clubcard - bargain 😆 It was 1.34KG? Not big.

I'm a qualified chef. Coincidentally, I did a smaller joint of beef bought in Tesco at half price. I definitely know how to cook and let it rest. I thought it was on the tough side for what joint it was, so this might not have been you whatsoever.
The difference is your DH is a dick and next year he'd be cooking...if there was a next year.

4forksache · 26/12/2024 10:24

I cook most beef joints in the slow cooker fully submerged in gravy and onion now, after several leathery joints. The meat falls apart and the gravy is delicious.

pelargoniums · 26/12/2024 10:25

4forksache · 26/12/2024 10:24

I cook most beef joints in the slow cooker fully submerged in gravy and onion now, after several leathery joints. The meat falls apart and the gravy is delicious.

What’s this got to do with the OP’s dickhead husband?

Nothatgingerpirate · 26/12/2024 10:27

arethereanyleftatall · 26/12/2024 09:24

Same old shit, different poster.

If I want to teach my daughters one thing, it's that they're worth more than this.

That being single will result in more happiness for them than being with a lazy, selfish, sexist, ungrateful twat.

Not even really sure why they would need to be told this, you'd think it obvious, except on mumsnet there's an hourly post like this.

Nothing to do with the beef op, and everything to do with the personality of the prick you've married.

Very good.
👍

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 26/12/2024 10:31

Beef is hard to cook. For the price I do t safe risk it. Lamb in the slow cooker overnight however is to die for. Do that next time.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 26/12/2024 10:33

4forksache · 26/12/2024 10:24

I cook most beef joints in the slow cooker fully submerged in gravy and onion now, after several leathery joints. The meat falls apart and the gravy is delicious.

Oh really? That’s good to know. I’ve tried it in the slow cooker and it wasn’t good however I didn’t submerge it in liquid.

Oddsquadnumber1 · 26/12/2024 10:36

He's a twat but really why spend hours in the kitchen homemaking everything when your home alone with young children and not hosting for Christmas lunch (from the sounds of it). The children don't care about the food and there are plenty of pre prepped options. DH spent a grand total of 1 hour in the kitchen cooking yesterday

Couldyounot · 26/12/2024 10:38

Your husband is a twerp
There is a lot of frankly dreadful meat about these days
The one "how to cook meat" guide that I have ever found useful is Riverford and even that doesn't get it right all the time

RobertaFirmino · 26/12/2024 10:42

I bought one of those Clubcard joints two weeks ago. Red label on the front, proclaiming it to be a 'roasting joint'. It was silverside which really is pants when roasted. Like others here, I used the slow cooker but the meat was still stringy. Definitely the joint, not you.

Your husband needs to learn that when someone has been kind enough to cook a meal for you, the correct response is 'thank you'.

Tortielady · 26/12/2024 10:46

binkie163 · 26/12/2024 08:54

I am not a big meat eater, so I am in charge of aunt Bessie frozen roast potatoes &Yorkshire pudding 😀 broccoli, parsnips & carrots, zero time or stress. Himself is responsible for the meat and gravy, tbh I will happily eat just a plate of veg and gravy. It's worked for 30 years.
Asda mince pies, Xmas pudding and brandy butter. I have never been that bothered about roasts, I don't cook them. If we want Sunday lunch we eat out.
I remember my mum spending days of prepping....no thanks.

We had Aunt Bessie's roast potatoes with our veggie pies (DH is a vegetarian) roast parsnips, carrots etc and latkes (it's Chanukah as well.) They are very nice and I'd definitely have them again. And Sunday lunch? We love it and like to go out for it, especially with other people. But it's a lot of faff to do yourself.

LushLemonTart · 26/12/2024 10:47

https://www.slowcookerclub.com/slow-cooker-roast-beef/

Dh is a twat. But if ever you want to try again this is fantastic. I put this on before work yesterday and left it for dh to sort. Did it all on low. He did a big chicken and everything else too but everyone said this was the star.

Slow Cooker Roast Beef

Roast dinner is a dish that the British do better than anyone else on the planet. This Slow Cooker Roast Beef can't be beaten for convenience or taste!

https://www.slowcookerclub.com/slow-cooker-roast-beef

Blanketssese · 26/12/2024 10:47

Souds like you are married to an ignorant unappreciative pig.

Stop doing anything for him.
Stop cooking any food he likes.
Stop buying any food he likes .
Stop doing his laundry.

Thats how you deal with unappreciative people.

Suffolker · 26/12/2024 10:49

You need to tell him that he upset you yesterday and explain why, and if he values you and your feelings he should apologise. If he doesn’t, I would question why you are with someone who cares so little about your feelings.

OChristmasTreeHowLovelyAreYee · 26/12/2024 10:51

Sorry, wrong thread

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 26/12/2024 10:52

ChiliFiend · 26/12/2024 10:01

I agree with other people re not doing Christmas dinner again but the reality is you won't do that, and that's what's so frustrating about so many stories on Mumsnet and everywhere else - women working themselves to the bone and being taken completely for granted, when all it would have taken to make you feel good is well-deserved compliments about the meal and how much work you've put in. Can we all stop raising sons to be like the husband in this story? As for your husband, I wouldn't cook beef for him again, ever - and if he requests it say "sorry, I decided to stop cooking beef the Christmas you made such a big deal of me overcooking it and ignored the hours of work I put into the meal in general." Twat.

Can we all stop raising sons to be like the husband in this story?

No we can't, not when the husband is raising them to sneer along with him at their mother's efforts. Children learn how men view women from their fathers. Who else?

Small beef joints are difficult to cook and I wouldn't have bothered with one at all. OP your husband is a selfish, ungrateful utter arse, and he is raising your children to demean you.

m00rfarm · 26/12/2024 10:54

He was rude. However, why did you not google it if the instructions did not come on the beef itself? Or even ask someone on here?

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