DH complaining about my Christmas Dinner

[TuffasOldBoots]

Primarily the beef! Which wasn’t good - tough as old boots he said. Reminded him of a shoe etc.

DH worked Christmas Day, home at 2. We have small children and I spend the morning/afternoon running between the kitchen and the living room cooking/playing with the kids/opening presents/building toys and cleaning and cooking a big Christmas dinner.

Main was a huge turkey crown which was beautiful, everyone enjoyed it. All fresh veg, homemade cauliflower cheese, Yorkshires, all the trimmings etc. Beef was an extra (small joint) but not the main event. Texted DH in the morning-help! I’ve never cooked beef before (I eat mostly a vegetarian diet) how long does he want me to cook it for? Just guess! Was his reply!

Served up the dinner and he moaned and moaned about how the beef was like an old boot and he could barely cut through it.

It was very tough-told him to leave it and just eat the turkey.

To make it worse - his family came over in the evening and they asked how our dinner was and all he could mention was the beef being like old boots and our kids laughed along. His Mum then offered to teach me how to cook beef. Grr! He also commented on how much I had spent on the turkey this year-it was expensive but I was alone with the children and had to wait for DH to be home so I could shop for it, not much left and spend a lot more than usual.

Felt like I was in the kitchen for several hours prepping, cooking and cleaning. I was exhausted when he came home. AIBU? I was v.embarrassed when he mentioned it in front of his family and it sounded like the whole of my dinner was shit when it was only one of many other dishes.

It was just an extra - Huge Turkey was the main which was gorgeous. I made everything from scratch - mash, roasties, Yorkshire puddings, sprouts, parsnips, carrots, cauliflower cheese, stuffing, gravy. It was a lot of work especially on my own with young children, trying to keep an eye on them, play with them, open gifts, build toys - I don’t think I sat down for about 6-7 hours 😥 DH - “It was just a meal. I’ve cooked Christmas dinner loads of times” Yes, with me in the house entertaining the kids and playing with them. Not on his own plus one year his Mum came over and prepared all the veg for him and he still took all credit for cooking Christmas dinner on his own 🙈

...so you are going out ON YOUR OWN shopping for something nice in the sales tomorrow aren't you OP? Time off in lieu and a thankyou from H and his family. You're welcome ..

Next year he'll be cooking then won't he??

(I use the good food roast timer to good effect).

Yes!! Nothing can stop me 🤣

@TuffasOldBoots what cut of beef was it?

Top rump.

I burnt the ham which was the centre piece. DH laughed, hugged me and then ate round the burnt bits. Said it was the best id done even though it wasn't.

Next year go on strike

@TuffasOldBoots rump isn’t the most naturally tender … needs a longer roast at a lower temp usually

Any leftovers? DH has a pair of brogues that need re-soling.

😂

I wouldn't be waiting until next year to pass cooking duties to the ungrateful twat It would be his job for next month at least and I would criticise it copiously!!

OP I hope you told him what for! Especially when he was trashing your efforts in front of his family, what an ungrateful **bag.
If we get a bit of beef that turns out to be tough, I slice it thinly and gently heat it through on the stove in some gravy, it really helps .Or you can cube it up and pop it in a stew pot with some chunky veg and stock and make beef stew , it will tenderise that way too.

Slow cooker. From 8am until 5pm. First hour on high. No liquid. It'll be beautiful even if it's a rubbish joint.

I've never had a good bit of beef from Tesco's. Think that is the problem! Nice bit of beef hard to come by now, only bet is a decent cut from the butchers.

Well, you know what your mistake with the beef was, don't you OP? You didn't chuck it at DH's head... and the gravy too.

You know what to do now for next year.

Never cook beef for Christmas dinner if you have not cooked it before. Beef is utterly unforgiving of amateurs and mistakes.
Point out DH is at fault for telling you to guess how to cook beef - a meat you cannot guess with.

Well, you now know who is cooking Christmas Dinner for the foreseeable future. Him.

Don't accept the situation of no help, from his arrival at 2pm DH should have been playing with the kids , building toys and doing the washing up- with you focussing on the cooking.
Do not accept this kind of passive aggressive criticism- whenever I hear this sort of bullshit I quote the French proverb (in translation) "He who never does anything never makes a mistake", if you don't like it cook your own dinner.
I did a huge amount of cooking, all of which was fine accept the beef-so what is your problem? Make sure all of this is in front of all of the family members he complained about the beef to. As for the cost of the turkey crown- if he wants to bag a bargain, tell him to feel free, you didn't have the time, but he could have and should have if he wants to more closely control the cost.
Your husband sounds like a moaning, unpleasant and unappreciative type, but I know from experience that he may just not have considered the pressures you are under-you must tell him, and make it clear if he wants change, then he has to change and lighten your burdens.
On a practical note- if you want a cheaper turkey they are available at most major supermarkets online-just order the deal some of them do that come with the 15p veg etc-you can't do cheaper and neither can your hubby.
Cooking beef, especially a small joint-no more than 20 mins a pound plus 20 mins, and my secret weapon I always do a small joint from frozen-no matter what some posts say it isn't the beef-none of it from the supermarket moves around any more so it isn't inherently tough- it will be juicy pink and delicious, I promise, Put an alarm on , because 40 mins will probably be plenty-keep it warm (my grill is above my oven so I put it in there to keep warm and rest for half an hour or so while you wrangle everything else.

Why did you bother with the beef? Turkey should have been enough (and your husband sounds very unpleasant).

And you turned her down. Because you mainly want to show how hard done by you are. Look at me with my mainly vegetarian lifestyle, cooking meat!

Cook meat, or don’t cook meat, but don’t expect praise for cooking meat if you can’t be bothered to do the most simple task of reading a cook book, and just ruin it.

If DP wasn’t working in the morning, then you would have a point. He was.

And yes, I understand that this was BEFORE you failed to consult the internet, cook books, parents or neighbours about how to cook meat, but you could have, but you wanted to be martyred. Saint Tuff, we salute you.

Surely if it was from Tesco it had cooking instructions on it so why the texting of husband and friends and the googling?

I found the instructions a couple of days later 🤣

Sometimes I think you just need to slow cook beef. It is the only way I can make it not tough.
sorry your DH was an ass about it.
Next year let him cook the bloody beef.

I would have told him to fuck off and to start saving for going out next year or he can have the day off and do the bloody cooking! Also I would have made it clear the book was tough because of the crap advice he supplied! What a prick!!