DH complaining about my Christmas Dinner

[TuffasOldBoots]

Primarily the beef! Which wasn’t good - tough as old boots he said. Reminded him of a shoe etc.

DH worked Christmas Day, home at 2. We have small children and I spend the morning/afternoon running between the kitchen and the living room cooking/playing with the kids/opening presents/building toys and cleaning and cooking a big Christmas dinner.

Main was a huge turkey crown which was beautiful, everyone enjoyed it. All fresh veg, homemade cauliflower cheese, Yorkshires, all the trimmings etc. Beef was an extra (small joint) but not the main event. Texted DH in the morning-help! I’ve never cooked beef before (I eat mostly a vegetarian diet) how long does he want me to cook it for? Just guess! Was his reply!

Served up the dinner and he moaned and moaned about how the beef was like an old boot and he could barely cut through it.

It was very tough-told him to leave it and just eat the turkey.

To make it worse - his family came over in the evening and they asked how our dinner was and all he could mention was the beef being like old boots and our kids laughed along. His Mum then offered to teach me how to cook beef. Grr! He also commented on how much I had spent on the turkey this year-it was expensive but I was alone with the children and had to wait for DH to be home so I could shop for it, not much left and spend a lot more than usual.

Felt like I was in the kitchen for several hours prepping, cooking and cleaning. I was exhausted when he came home. AIBU? I was v.embarrassed when he mentioned it in front of his family and it sounded like the whole of my dinner was shit when it was only one of many other dishes.

let him take responsibility for cooking all family meals going forward, problem solved.

If people don’t appreciate your effort stop making the effort. Simple.

Alternatively pass beef to dh and he can sort it. I'm not sure why the solution to dh being a twat is giving a woman cooking instructions

It can be an interesting experiment for you @Thameslock

Name change, dont announce your sex, and then see how your actual words themselves are valued.

My impression of society at the moment is that the following opinions are valued ;

1. Articulate, intelligent women
2. Men

Ignored ;
Other women.

I know you've pretended even to yourself that you announced your sex because it's mumsnet, but I rather suspect you announced it to elevate your position to listened to.

Because that's the current state of society.

arethereanyleftatall · Today 15:49
“I know you've pretended even to yourself that you announced your sex because it's mumsnet, but I rather suspect you announced it to elevate your position to listened to.
Because that's the current state of society.”

FFS I give up, the prejudice is too much. I have many (platonic female friends , my best mate is a woman, my partner of 34 years couldn’t get her head round that, she was of the opinion that a man and a woman could never just be friends! She changed that opinion quickly thank god. Your reply of “elevating my position by declaring my gender could not be further from the truth!. She is still my partner not married,because thats what we are Partners equal in every respect.

My response would have been "oh DH...as dinner was so terrible, next year you'll be cooking it. No, no I insist! Make sure you've git the day off work! Yes you WILL be cooking it. Became I certainly won't!" All said with a big passive aggressive smile! 😁
And as others have said it could well have been the beef. I got a joint of beef a couple of weeks ago from Sainsbury's that was on offer. It was awful, stringy and chewy. But the dog enjoyed it anyway.

You miss the bit where he was AT WORK?

You don’t know how to cook beef. Someone offered help. You turned their help down. You don’t own cook books, and can’t look on the internet? Here you go. 20 minutes per lb and 20 minutes over for medium, rest it in foil for 30 mins before serving. Now you can cook beef.

Got butchers beef few weeks ago roasted it and lovely and soft got asda and tough and was slow roasted

📣 WHAT IN GOD’S NAME IT’S NOT ABOUT BEING ABLE TO COOK BEEF OR NOT JESU JESU WE’RE ON PAGE 11 OF THIS SHIT

Who offered to help me??

Maybe next year DH can do the cooking and simultaneously play with the kids.
Or, even better, DH could take you out for Christmas lunch.

Looks like your husband has just volunteered to cook next year!

Just don't do beef next year, but sometimes it's easier to adjust your attitude than try to fix someone else's.

Rather than stewing on it and letting it ruin your mood in future for something like that I'd just laugh it off, say yeah it's not great is it, I did tell you to give me tips! And to the inlaws something like "yeah it turned out awful, I asked DH for help beforehand as he usually cooks them and he said just guess so I don't think he'll make that mistake again!

Is he always this nasty and arrogant OP? Purposely shaming you in front of his family is outrageous and I can’t believe you didn’t call him out on that.

He appears to have zero respect for you - are you okay with that as it doesn’t sound like it’ll get any better. What a nasty nasty man to spoil your Christmas, and the worst part for me is that he has your children laughing along, taking the piss out of you.

Nip that in the bud now.

This. She might have served crap beef but that's irrelevant and absolutely no excuse for belittling op in front of his family.

His mum. You turned her down. You will forever be unable to cook beef.

180oC, sorry, didn’t give you the temperature.

FGS he made a joke about the tough beef being tough, and people seem to be quick to judge DP for apparently being lazy when they were working on Christmas Day. The issue is that they made a special thing about cooking beef for their DP, couldn’t be bothered to look up the instructions, ruined it, and then we are supposed to all tell her how great she is.

Or… look up how to cook it.

While cooking the rest of the meal, and watching the kids and doing Christmas morning?
It sounds like it was primarily for her DH, in that situation if he said just guess then I'd just guess not put time into it.
If it was a main part of the meal and DH seemed bothered about how it turned out and she had time that would be different.

I go through the whole Christmas event but seriously it's so overrated.
I don't even like Turkey.. why do we do it .

She offered to come over to “teach” me how to cook beef after the event not before.

I did google how to cook it and followed the minutes per pound instructions but it was still awful. My mum has bought joints from Tesco and despite cooking beef for 40 years (multiple joints not just the one 😉) she’s still had horrible ones from Tesco that she could barely cut through. She’s used to cooking meat too.

Love Turkey - mine was beautiful and was gobbled up (pun intended)

He complained?
Don’t say a word next year.
Set a fancy table.
Light the candles.
Serve him a dry peanut butter sandwich, no jam or jelly. Just peanut butter on stale old bread.
When he complains, remind him of this year’s roast and tell him you’re done trying to please him. Done.
Two can play at this shitty game.
My mum once didn’t cook at all — that was the last time my dad complained about the quality of Mum’s cooking. lol he sat down to a fully set table — and that was it.
Revenge is best served cold.