DH complaining about my Christmas Dinner

[TuffasOldBoots]

Primarily the beef! Which wasn’t good - tough as old boots he said. Reminded him of a shoe etc.

DH worked Christmas Day, home at 2. We have small children and I spend the morning/afternoon running between the kitchen and the living room cooking/playing with the kids/opening presents/building toys and cleaning and cooking a big Christmas dinner.

Main was a huge turkey crown which was beautiful, everyone enjoyed it. All fresh veg, homemade cauliflower cheese, Yorkshires, all the trimmings etc. Beef was an extra (small joint) but not the main event. Texted DH in the morning-help! I’ve never cooked beef before (I eat mostly a vegetarian diet) how long does he want me to cook it for? Just guess! Was his reply!

Served up the dinner and he moaned and moaned about how the beef was like an old boot and he could barely cut through it.

It was very tough-told him to leave it and just eat the turkey.

To make it worse - his family came over in the evening and they asked how our dinner was and all he could mention was the beef being like old boots and our kids laughed along. His Mum then offered to teach me how to cook beef. Grr! He also commented on how much I had spent on the turkey this year-it was expensive but I was alone with the children and had to wait for DH to be home so I could shop for it, not much left and spend a lot more than usual.

Felt like I was in the kitchen for several hours prepping, cooking and cleaning. I was exhausted when he came home. AIBU? I was v.embarrassed when he mentioned it in front of his family and it sounded like the whole of my dinner was shit when it was only one of many other dishes.

You are sounding a bit unhealthily obsessed now tbh.

While she goes out to work until 2pm on Christmas Day maybe.

Please do. You're awful.

Why does having your children mean you couldn't go out to get a turkey?

This is the more likely explanation

I am still only on the 1st page, but

I just converted the weight into pounds and ounces - as i am older :)
it's almost 3lbs

so i would have suggested 30 mins a pound plus 30 mins extra so 2 hours for well done

for less ' well done ' I would have said 20/25 mins per pound so maybe 90 mins in total

but beef is so difficult to cook for other people's taste as i like mine very well done !

However it's the cut of the beef that matters most, and I wonder if the supermarket sold it as a beef joint

rather than a rib or sirloin or topside

thus I reckon it was the meat and not you at all !

Lots of reasons: they might only have one car, which was at work with the DH so she couldn’t get the kids to the shops with her. Or no car and turkey too big for a pram/to carry alongside a toddler/while wrangling kids. Or it was possible but not top of the list of preferences: I had to do a brief Christmas festive shop with two children and frankly needed sectioning afterwards, the supermarkets are bedlam and the kids are frenzied. None of which would change the outcome that her DH is a rude sod.

Calm down Poirot! Name change fails aren't possible any more. That's clearly the other OP accidentally posting in the wrong thread, realising, and then pasting the post onto the correct thread. The style of writing is just too different regardless. Stop giving OP a hard time.

What you allow will continue.

I see what has happened. It's all my fault. I commented on this thread by accident and couldn't find how to delete so wrote same thing on my thread as that's where it was meant to be.

We are two different people!

I dont think you can name change on threads, MNHQ stopped people being able to do so to prevent sock-puppets

Bloke here so try to be kind, He has you,he has your children he has a home and a job, he needs to realise how lucky he is to have those things, some of which are absolutely priceless! Show him this post and let him have a think about how he would feel if he had none of that, and the love that goes with it..

Really bad advice. Never show an abusive man that you've publicly written about him and he's been roundly criticised online. It's highly unlikely to make him realise the error of his ways and more likely to make him snap. Same with counselling. Never go to joint counselling with an abusive man.

Holy shit… Bloke here… Why does that require kindness?
Your DH is aggressive, unkind, self-absorbed and nasty. Why remain? Don’t you think your kids deserve better?

How many were you cooking for? What joint of beef was it?

I did ask my mother-in-law for advice on cooking our ham, like you I rarely cook meat, and it turned out wonderful, so I would take your MIL's advice.

Your DH shouldn't have been criticising you like that to his family though. He could have concentrated on how tasty the rest of it was. It wasn't kind of him, was it?

IT'S NOT ABOUT THE FECKIN BEEF, PEOPLE.

Stop with the channelling Delia.

It's about the shit behaviour of her husband. Anyone who is focussing on and criticising how she went about cooking it is being the same as him.

Who said he was abusive? the OP didnt. Thats your interpretation. He was being an arse, dont think anyone would disagree with that.
There seems to be a lot of posters on MN who because (perhaps) of their experiences. Immediately take the nuclear option.

Fair comment. I retract the abusive comment. On a separate note though, why do you feel it necessary to announce that you're a bloke? It really doesn't give your contribution more importance or weight. Just comment like everyone else.

As its predominantly women,I think as a minority here it’s pertinent to let people know the post has a male perspective, perhaps no need to do that, but I thought it may be useful to let posters know. Perhaps I need to rethink that, as I do get a lot of negative comments, according to some I have no right to be here!

it's very disloyal of him to complain about the beef to his family, and bad manners to complain to you.

For future reference, small joints are tricky, and the timings don't really work. Use them as a rough guide, and use a meat thermometer. Some joints are very low fat and are better pot roasted. Also make sure it has time to rest. I'm sure you know all of this, but it's difficult when you have so many other things to cook and get the timing right.

20 minutes per lb + 20 minutes over. Gas mark 5.

That's it.

You get negative comments because you herald your arrival as a man. Just comment as any other poster, unless it's absolutely critical to say that you're a man eg, your experience of taking viagra.

Edited to add, why would people need to be kind cos you're a bloke? Are you helpless or vunerable just by virtue of being a man? If you need kindness cos you're in dire straights or in a tricky situation, then that's fair enough but it's not women's job to 'be kind' to you just because.

Agreed.

The “be kind to me bit” was an attempt at humour,missed the mark(my fault).l have had some pretty toxic vitriol on other threads purely for being male, but yes I can see now that I could have avoided that by not mentioning my gender