To think this is just rude on christmas Day

[Lucyy97]

To invite your daughter and grand daughter round then walk dog twice and spend over 2 and half hours upstairs in bed ?

YANBU. Just don’t bother. Don’t invite people.

Erm yes....how long are you supposed to be there for and who else is there?

Very strange behaviour

Yes, it's rude but more than that it's also very odd.

Walking the dog twice is normal surely but 2.5 hours upstairs in bed is odd.

Your parents? Just leave. Or walk the dog with them.

Is your dm the only other person who is there?

No set time. My brother was here but he’s gone out. It’s my dad, he’s just retreated away. My mum and dad invited us here today, me and DD age 5. Seemed a long dog walk and then he spent an hour and half in bed after and then came down for not very long, walked dog again and has since been in bed for another hour

Well the dog needs two walks a day.
The going to bed is a bit peculiar though.

Maybe your Dads depressed?

He does but seemed a long walk, seems like he’s avoiding being around us

It’s strange not to say anything about it, but a DGM probably is tired and needs a nap. What’s odd is not saying “ ‘scuse me, but I need a nap” or for the DD to ask “can you bring you some tea?” or “what would you like us to do this evening” or “are you ok?” You don’t seem to know each other very well or to like each other

Is your mum there too and spending time with you? Maybe he isn't feeling well and taking the dog out is taking it out of him.

Possible but he’s never shown anything like this before

How old is he? Entirely normal for our parents (80+) as can’t cope with lots of noise/people/stimulation so much any more.

he hasn’t said about feeling not feeling well or anything, hasn’t said much

Maybe things aren't great between your parents?

He is 57

Everything seems ok with them. It’s not so much my mum he’s avoiding. Seems like he’s avoiding just Christmas in general or being with us

Have you asked him what's up?

This is a good point or any number of physical or mental illnesses.

Yeah well he swore under his breath a few times for some unknown reason. Huffing and puffing about something. Maybe in a bad mood but it’s made the day a bit ..

I think we need a bit more context - what's his personality usually like? Your relationship with him etc?

He’s family so I’d ask. I’d say, ‘I’ve noticed you aren’t your usual self today, what’s up?’

For whatever reason, he is taking the space he needs to get through the day. You should respect that rather than trying to make him feel
guilty.