Looking for ADHD Support and Advice – What Works for You?

[Ihavenoclu]

I’m reaching out to ask for help. I’ve been struggling with the challenges of ADHD—procrastination, disorganisation, and a sense of chaos at home—and it’s overwhelming. Paralysing

I desperately need order and routines to feel less overwhelmed. I long for peace—not just for me, but for my family too. I want my children to have peace and order in their lives, but I feel like I’m not teaching them this right now, and it breaks my heart. I feel like I’m letting them down.

Are there apps you swear by for organisation or focus? Routines or habits that help bring structure? Or even books, podcasts, or communities that have made a difference?

I’m keen to learn and open to trying anything. Right now, it feels like managing everything is just too much, and I’d love to hear what’s worked for others in similar situations.

Thank you in advance for your advice, recommendations, or even just words of support—it all helps.

Please can you share which ones you buy?

Ignore me I just read the rest of your post 🤣

I've got some ideas that work (sometimes!) for me!

1. No wardrobes or cupboards for clothes. have heavy duty clothes racks with a shelf on the bottom. Three boxes on the shelf, for pjs/socks/underwear. This stops me emptying everything out when I'm looking for something, stops messy drawers, and makes putting laundry away easier.

1. Sweepy app - cleaning. It's got all rooms in the house, with the jobs broken down tjay need doing. I also add my self care tasks eg order meds, collect meds. And my admin tasks are on there.

1. I don't buy more than 2 fresh meals when I do the online shop. This stops the huge amounts of food waste.

1. Online shopping - spend less as don't get overwhelmed and buy loads of crap/lidl middle aisle/buy stuff that doesn't make a meal

1. Money Helper Budget Tool. I have my budget on there, and try to stick to that. Allows to put money away for car repairs/christmas/school uniforms. I have separate accounts for each - if I didn't do this I would just see savings and spend without thinking about what I need it for.

1. Slightly overpay the energy bill so that there's a buffer.

1. Have stacked laundry bins for dirty - white, dark, towels/bedding etc and they are labelled so family can sort

1. Stacked laundry bins for clean laundry-. Clean washing from airer/tumble goes straight into each person's laundry bin. No piles of clean washing dumped everywhere.

1. Container for all the socks - if anyone can be arsed to pair them they can. If not, grab what you need!

10. Before I buy anything online, leave it in the basket for at least 24 hrs. So I don't sit and buy crap I don't need in the evenings when I'm bored.

That's all I can think of at the moment, these help but life is still chaos and clutter!

Thank you so much everyone. Maybe we can keep this thread going as a list of support and encouragement. I will add recommendations too as I work through them.

I find routine and ADHD at odds with each other a lot of the time, so lots of room for choice helps me.

I have a rough list in my mind of things that basically always need doing - loading, hanging or folding laundry; sorting through outgrown clothes; finding toys that need a new home/to be binned; adding to the online shopping order; preparing part of/the next meal.

If I'm at a loose end I pick one of those and do it.

The bottom of the stairs technique is useful.

+1 for lots of outsourcing as your budget allows.

This is a great post so place marking.
I have a cleaner, an enabler and a quarterly declutter service (physical disability too)
I really fall down with tech stuff like apps etc, I put a lot of money into smart home features but when my WiFi provider changed I never found the motivation to set it all up again.
reminders don’t work for me so I’m always late or miss stuff altogether.
flooded the house numerous times, spent over a grand on locksmiths, went to work this morning (late) only to realise that I’m not meant to be at work until 2nd January.
the club should have been the empty office and lack or response to emails…
I lose count of the times I’ve upset my kids and I’m sure my symptoms have caused them no end of stress and anxiety over the years.
no clean uniform, accidentally giving new school shoes to charity, missing their crucial appointments etc, it’s a mare.
I am medicated but forget my meds regularly and forget my hrt so I’m all over the place

I leave things in online baskets for while to make sure I actually need or want them.

I do this, too. I also make liberal use of amazon wish lists and when I find something I want to buy (when do I not?) I save it to a wish list instead.

Go back and look at the wish lists and most of its crap or unnecessary. It also helps when I think I've found a bargain I'd be a fool not to take advantage of.

The amount of money this has saved me is insane.

Haha, tell me you have ADHD without telling me etc.

when i say 'routine' its very loose, lol.. i just have a habit of using between breakfast and lunch to do 'stuff' in as i'm post coffee and more likely to get it done than if i set aside time in the afternoons.

The one thing that's helped me build consistent habits is to tie something into a good feeling.

For example, in my 20s I was shockingly bad at removing make up before bed. Like many people with adhd I can get burnt out so during a burnt-out period, I made removing make up my action of self-care, self-compassion.

It became a quiet moment of tlc and pampering that I came to look forward to every night. It was calming and i felt an immediate reward of 'look I'm successfully doing something normal people do!'

Now it's one of my favourite moments of the day and I cannot bear to get into bed with my make up on. My skin is much less dry too.

Reducing new habits to the lowest common denominator also works for me. So I still don't always complete a full facial routine every night, I go through periods of applying serum/eye cream etc, but by reducing it to removing my make up with a moisturising cleanser every night, I've covered the basics in a way that is manageable and it's something I've maintained consistently for years now.

Once the new habit in its smallest form is embedded in, I build on it.

Like many with adhd, while I thrive in chaos I need routine so building small routines for myself is how I survive. I put my keys in the same place every day, somewhere it feels natural to drop them rather than where someone neurotypical might leave them.

I don't beat myself up anymore for forgetting something or breaking a habit. I accept that there will be times when I will do so and just start again- I've realised that it's not "starting again" but "continuing the habit".

Reframing it this way has stopped me giving up on habits when I've fallen off the wagon.

Chuckling here 🤣🤣🤣🙈

I could have written the exact same original post. I have two kids and am in my mid forties and I really struggle with structure and routine. I feel so bad that my bad habits are being passed down to them - especially the elder who I think might also have adhd.