To think I’ve been uninvited

[Scottishmum1984]

I had a text from a friend a few weeks ago asking if myself and my dd, age 8, were free for a NY party she was thinking of organising. I said yes and she said she would be in touch.

Found out today she started a group WhatsApp invite with details, including a few mutual friends…

I text her casually to ask if party was still on and what could I bring… she left me on read.

I should take a hint shouldn’t I? I feel so left out, reminds me of school days..😓

Your "friend" is out of order. Has she got form for this? What alternative plans can you make? She has shown her true colours.

I know. I wasn’t sure if I was being unreasonable, but I suppose if I feel this sad then she must be in the wrong.

Ouch - that's nasty of her. The good news is that you checked and at least you know now - hopefully enough time for you to make other plans?

That really sucks :(

I guess there’s still time as NYE is next week.

But yes she’s not a good friend

I feel bad for my DD as her friend is going and she was looking forward to it. We haven’t spoken since the original invite so don’t know what changed :(

I’m not sure about alternative plans as I’m a single mum and not many parties are child friendly. This one specifically has kids and parents going. Maybe she decided she only wanted couples :(

That is shockingly rude! I feel cross on your behalf but also for your poor DD. This is no way to treat a friend. People really can be so inconsiderate these days. I hope you enjoy NYE anyhow x

I’d give her a bit more time. She’s probably up against it preparing things for tomorrow, she may have read your message quickly and realised she hasn’t added you to the group chat, but not had time to rectify that or reply. That’s the sort of thing I would do. There’s still time for everything to turn out okay. Wishing you a happy Christmas, OP.

That’s really hurtful I’m sorry. As a single parent my invites to things like this dried up swiftly after the separation. Friends want to go out plenty but only as nights away from their partners, I’m not even considered for events like this as I’m not part of a couple. My daughter misses out too but I try to minimise it by planning our own fun.

Have your own party my love just you and your dd. Mocktails and Wham x

I cant imagine doing it to someone, yeh maybe she decided on couples but I’ve been single parent ever since I’ve known her.

it feels a bit like this :(

I wouldn't assume you aren't invited until she has explained that to you directly. I would ring or text her at this point to say "Hey! I need to know re next Tuesday! If it isn't happening tell me now so we can sort something else out".

She hasn't answered the OP's whatsapp

How much does the OP have to chase?

Yeh I whatsapped her a casual message to see if still on / what we should bring and she read but didn’t reply. Didn’t want to look like a stalker..

I think it’s quite rude of this “friend”

In your shoes I’d assume the invite is not there and make alternative plans.

I am sorry

Just turn up anyway based on the first communication you are invited.

That is absolutely lousy OP. No way would I turn up nor would I ask again.

I wondered about turning up as my dd is excited about the party but I don’t think I’d have the nerve

Wow that's so bad

I think a follow up is not difficult if you don't overthink it. Quicker than posting on Mumsnet, and with a greater likelihood of finding out what the plan is.

They were invited, and only the friend can say what is going on.

No, don't turn up obviously. Call your friend.

Drop her another text 'sorry but I have to ask, are we still invited, as we're both looking forward to it' leave the ball in her court. By the way I think she sounds like a bitch.

Did you find out about the WA group invite from another friend? If so I would ask that friend if they can speak to the inviter and find out if she (inviter) is just very busy/forgot to reply to you etc. Or just phone your friend directly and ask how things are. Don't be touchy about it and make yourself hard work, it's better to assume your mate isn't being malicious but just a bit ditsy/mad busy.

If she has changed her mind about inviting you, that's a really shitty thing to do and I wouldn't be considering her a friend any more. But don't assume the worst without speaking to her/contacting her again. And look for alternative plans for NYE just in case!